oh and hi, Dad...

I went out last night for drinks at an insanely upscale place in Tribeca where I tried seven different types of bourbon and rye, not counting sampling the "Creole-Fashioned" of the person I was with. It was decadent and awesome. And tonight I'm sitting here thinking about the bottle of Johnnie Walker Black in the cabinet...

Oh hey look, I can see Alcoholism from here!!

(I made myself some tea.)

dear quality auto service...

The free wi-fi is nice, but...




Three fucking chairs? In a room this big? Are you fucking kidding me?

One would think that...

... by the time one is 40, one would stop having experiences that make one feel like the same stupid person you were when you were 20.


One would be WRONG....

backseat music critics: 80's pop supergroup edition...

GIRL: "Get it on? Bang a GONG?"

BOY: That doesn't even make any sense

GIRL: This song is stupid. I think they were just looking for a rhyme.

BOY: And it doesn't even actually rhyme

GIRL: Yeah, they couldn't think of a rhyme for "on"

BOY: "Mow your lawn".

GIRL AND BOY (singing): "Get it on! Mow your lawn!!"

let's do the math, shall we...?

Let's see how much the visit by my wife's sister is going to cost me...

One amusement park trip that we wouldn't be going on otherwise - 4x$50 = $200
Two nights in a hotel at fucking Niagara Falls - 2x $100 = $200
Four nights of dog boarding - 4x$25 = $100

... so that's $500 already. Toss in $100 for gas and probably twice that for meals. And I'm going to predict another $200 for the ticket we'll get on the NY State Thruway for having a brake-light out on the van that we just noticed yesterday but won't have time to fix before Monday because we have to spend the next three days cleaning the fucking house. Let's round it up to an even $1000.

Did I mention we'll be doing it all with their three week old baby?

Fuck. Me.