come aboard... we're expecting you... (**)

There was a 2-hour period yesterday when my wife and I were seriously considering booking a Royal Carribbean cruise for the middle of January. Thankfully, the insanity was only temporary. We're thinking maybe July, instead.


PS... as a kid who was a band nerd in school during the late 70's and early 80's, I played the theme from The Love Boat in band. I still preferentially focus on the trumpet fills between the lyrics when I listen to the song.

a series of short declarative sentences...

I didn't go ice skating. I didn't buy a cymbal. I finished my grades. I played PS2 until 1:00 AM. I am very tired. I have a cold.

is it getting cold in here, or is it just me...?

Ok, it was a great topic for a final thermodynamics paper, but after grading 5 of them, I'm officially tired of reading about "How Refrigerators Work".

more days like this....

I'm at the café, as I have grading still to do. (Some readers seemed to get the impression that I was done... I'm only done with the EXAMS.) I was supposed to do this YESTERDAY, but the wife was sick and in bed most of the day, leaving me with a kids-all-day headache. It hasn't quite gone away. I think I'm getting sick too... I've got that throat-omen feeling.

On the bright side, we've had 2 days of rain and 40+ temperatures, so I walked out the front door and saw LAWN for the first time in a month. It feels like springtime. Of course we're going to ruin that by going ice-skating this afternoon. Don't even fucking ask. If everything goes as planned I'm sure my next blog post will include a full account of my broken hip.

Off to grade for now. If I finish everything but the term papers, I'm stopping at the music store on the way home and rewarding myself with a splash cymbal for my new drumkit.

what is it now... the FOURTH day of Xmas...??

That would explain the "four imposing relatives."

Still no time for a proper update, faithful readers... things have yet to let up around here. Today I'm heading into the city with my brother and his fianceé, while the wife holds down the fort here with my Mom and her roommate.

I'm looking forward to today NOT AT ALL, as nobody seems to know what they want to do besides "walk around the city". Yay. You know... Manhattan isn't just a big fucking shopping mall... there are museums and stuff there. And I know for a FACT that there are Starbucks back in Baltimore.

Anyway, my brother bought me a drumset for Xmas, so I probably should just grin and bear it.

... just like the ones i used to know...

Where treetops glisten? (check)
And children listen? (yeah... right...)

Merry Christmas, readers.

the dr. dave code...

I've always meant to compile a list of the marks I use while grading papers, so that students can understand the subtle shades of meaning that I attach to them. Today, in order to procrastinate, and to fill my weblog with more grading-related fun, I have decided to finally create this long awaited list...

COMMON GRADING MARKS

good - Correct and complete answer.
(check) - Good enough answer for full credit.
Exc! - Very well-phrased, more-than-complete answer.
OK - This could probably be phrased better, but I'm giving you pretty much full credit
NQ - Almost right, but "not quite".
? - This could be right, but is unclear.
?? - What you've written doesn't make sense to me, and is pretty clear that it's wrong.
?! - This is wrong in a particularly weird and surprising way.
Yes - This part of your answer is correct. Usually followed by...
NO! - This is very wrong. (The more exclamation points, the wronger it is.)
EEK! - This is wrong in a way which disturbs and/or depresses me.
So...? - You have made a correct statement, but have stopped short of actually answering the question.
! - You have said something in a particularly interesting way. This is often a good thing, but not always.
YES!! - You got this right, and many people up to now have been getting it wrong.
Wow! - You have said something particularly insightful that blows me away. (I don't get to use this one that often.)

PS> anyway... mission accomplished... home with all exams graded by 11:44.

grading update...

God this sucks. the first three papers I graded had scores of 100%, 100% (with extra credit bonus question), and 37%.

Things have leveled out a bit since then, but there is still a big gulf between the very high A's and the very low B's. Someone get an 87, please. A few C's would make me feel better too.

grading, day 2...

Well, the last time I got all my Astro exams done. Today it's physics. It's a smaller class, but a longer exam, so... it may just even out. I'm back at the café, a little earlier this time... I intend to get a quicker start on grading. I don't have any blogs pulled up on the laptop, cuz I read everything last night, and there wasn't much new this morning. Probably a good thing...

uh.

did my monitor just flicker?

please tell me my laptop screen is not fucking flickering.

didn't I have a laptop die the week of Christmas before???

it seems to have stopped. maybe it was a trick of the light or something. i do NOT fucking need that.

Anyway, as I was saying... it's probably a good thing that I don't have to much time-wastey stuff with me today. The house is a wreck and there is much Xmas preparedness that needs taking care of, so... I should try to get this done well before noon and get back home. Not that I really WANT to go home and wade through the crap there and try to get it put into decent shape by Sunday, but... I hate having Xmas in a messy house. Probably some sick thing my Mom implanted in my brain.

Anyway.

(sip)

The Boy seems fine this morning, so we sent him to school. We're pretty sure it's one of those Two-Pukes-And-You're-Done stomach things, so we don't feel TOO guilty about it. Luckily he isn't old enough to know to try and leverage his illness into a day off school. We need this last No-Kids-Day before the holiday weekend.

Looks like the transit strike is essentially over. Thing is... I kinda wished it would have lasted a few more days, since my crazy wife made plans with some friends on Long ISland to meet in NYC on the 26th. Of December. As in, the day after Xmas. Which is just sacrilege to me. The day after Xmas is for sitting around in your pajamas all day and fucking around with your presents and throwing away wrapping paper... not for trekking into Manhattan. I was hoping the transit strike would cancel our plans. Oh well. Maybe someone else will be projectile vomiting by then.

Ok... off to grade.

i forget...

On WHICH day of Christmas does my true love send to me - One Projectile Vomiting Toddler?

santa's devious little elves...

The Boy has been asking for a "big astronaut toy" for Xmas. We've run into this problem before... it is actually surprisingly difficult to find space and astronaut toys short of a science museum gift shop. And what with the transit strike in NYC, I was unable to get to the Museum of Natural History this week as planned. So we looked at various toystores... but... no dice.

Then today at KayBee, I came across this very cool looking Fantastic Four Ben Grimm astronaut figure with "face-changing action". Meaning what? Meaning that you push the button on the back of this (very cool looking) astronaut figure and his human face spins around transforming into The Thing. Bleah. The Boy would NOT like the scary Thing face. So...?

So, I bought it for $7.99, took it home, opened it, took a hacksaw, cut off the button on the back, filled the hole with glue, and... viola! One very cool astronaut figure... sans changing face!

Oh yeah, I threw away the big "space cannon" too.

xmas woes partially solved...

The wife's gift-card redeeming scheme at Sharper Image was exposed, so she had to cancel her recent order. Thus I immediately rushed to the phone and ordered her a 2Gb iPod Nano, which will arrive in time for Xmas.

Yay for Apple.

from the corner table...

Ok, this was the deal... I preload my blogs and email, drop off the Boy at daycare, head to the cafe, order a full pot of Darjeeling, read my blogs, write one short post, and get to work.

So... I'm at that next-to-last part.

These corner tables are cozy, but maybe not so good for grading. Too dark. The tea is good, but I let it steep a little too long. I feel somewhat ready to grade, but a little *bleah* about it as always. Still... the mountain of papers is high. The time for procrastinating is passed. There may come a day when the courage of men shall fail... but it is not this day! Sorry... I got a little Tolkeinesque there for a moment.

Maybe I'll move over by the fireplace.

I really should do some SHOPPING today. I need more stuff for the wife, and I don't know when I'm going to get another chance. Ugh. It's gonna be a lame Xmas, and I just found out my daughter TOLD my wife about the fucking coffee machine, so... there goes the one fucking decent gift I had.

Sigh.

I celebrated the end of the semester last night with a Jim Beam and Pepsi, which was yummy but perhaps ill-advised on a fairly empty stomach. I went to bed somewhat woozily at 11:00. Slept well, though. Note to self... just because the name of the liquor always comes first in a mixed drink doesn't mean you should use more of it than the mixer.

I can't believe Xmas is in 4 days. I can't believe I have to teach three classes next semester, and only have 3 weeks to prepare. Actually, I'm teaching three and a HALF classes... there's one team-taught course that I'm on the team for. I plan on telling my Astronomy class straight up... Ok, guys... I'm teaching three classes this term, and when I teach three classes, ONE class always loses when it comes to my general preparedness and attention... This semester it will be YOU. Get used to it. The good news is that sometimes my best lectures come when I'm completely unprepared and talking off the top of my head. The bad news is that so do some of the worst. My advice to you? Tangents are your friend. The further afield the better. They are always more interesting than the real course material. Make a game out of it. Try to get me to talk about black holes at least once a class. You'll have fun, and I'll always have more to talk about than I can fit into 1h 40min.

Crap, it's almost 10:30.

Ok. Grading... now... really...

things I learned about Hoboken...

* The PATH train takes a while, but probably no longer than the walk+subway ride to Penn.
* The Hoboken terminal is much cooler and and historical-looking than either Penn Station or Secaucus Junction. It's very "Platform 9 3/4".
* There are more places to sit and wait here than at Secaucus.
* There is an awesome little Thai food stand here where I just got a big heap of rice and curry chicken for 3 bucks. There is also pizza.
* There is a bar. Not today I didn't, but...
* Since it's the end of the line, the trains just SIT here and you can board them early, get your seat and get comfy.
* Have I mentioned that this would save me $50 a month? And that I'm an idiot?

travels and travails...

I felt a little lame for not having an exciting and daring travel story to share with my coworkers today. I didn't have to walk across a bridge or share a van with strangers or swing Spiderman-like from the rooftops or anything.

Most of my students seemed to manage to find their way to class one way or another. So, my finals are done and many days of grading await. Our science faculty meeting is cancelled tomorrow, which means as far as the strike goes, as long as it's over before January 24, I really don't give a subway-rat's ass. I'm outta here!

mess transit...

I was going to start this post by saying "Well, at least the TRAINS aren't affected by the strike..." but, well... I just spent 40 minutes sitting at my station listening to cancellation notices until finally an emppy train hobbled up to the platform, paused, then drove away without opening its doors. "Mechanical difficulties", they say. Riiiight.

Anyway, I'm on a train now which is carrying the past three trainloads of passengers. It's pretty full already, and I live near the end of the line. I expect to be squished fairly soon. I have my fingers crossed for a "petite" seat-mate.

And, as you may know, I'm headed for a city which I expect to find in utter chaos due to the transit strike. It should be an interesting day. I'm debating how to get to work... do I take the Secaucus trains or the PATH? I expect both will be crowded. At least the PATH puts me close to work and gives me less of a walk. I hate to try something NEW on a day like today, though.

Meanwhilst, I have an astronomy exam to write. I'm sure I can get it done by noon... the question is... will anybody be there to take it? I told them that no matter where they live, if they start walking at 8:00, they should be able to make it.

Anyway... off to read my websites and write my exam. Updates galore to follow.


(PS... not just "petite" but "petite" with leather pants!! I knew something good had to come out of this day.)

...

Hosting two parties in two days has drained me of my will to LIVE, much less blog. You may have to wait until tomorrow for a substantive update.

back when atoms were cool, daddy-o...

Last night I discovered the website archive.org and it's curious depository of all things public domain. The most remarkable find has to be the huge stockpile of short films from the 1950's... particularly the science films. Wow. These are going to get some serious mileage in my science classes... movies about X-rays and satellites and the wonder of "stereophonic sound". But the best has got to be "A is for Atom". Not only is all of the animation just... sublimely vintage, but content-wise... the thing is actually pretty fucking well done. There is no way I'm ever teaching about nuclear isotopes again without showing this film. I encourage everyone to go there and poke around in the collection. (And if you stumble upon the one about "springs"... well... prepare to be utterly perplexed.)

i'm just going to let myself believe...

... that the little "-" symbol on the LCD doesn't mean what I think it might mean, lest I be led to the conclusion that the receiver end of our indoor-outdoor digital thermometer is somehow picking up signals from fucking Wisconsin, because there is no way it was NEGATIVE SIX fucking degrees this morning!!

I'm just going to stop complaining about the temperature, because every day I do, it's fucking 5º-10º COLDER the next morning.

a man, a plan...

I double-clicked on OmniOutliner (my new favorite program in which to pretend I'm doing "work") yesterday, and proceeded to construct a list of all of the professional projects that I'm currently planning/working on/neglecting. I thought it would be a good first step towards being more productive in January (and beyond) but once I finished the list, my reaction was simply... "Holy fuck, how am I going to do all of this??" The problem is... there is so much short-term stuff that I can't even imagine when the long-term stuff will rise to the surface.

Anyway, just to give myself a feeling of accomplishment, I tackled one item right away... The Play. I got an email from my collaborator a few weeks ago informing me that he was pursuing another rewrite commission. So I emailed him to let him know that I was still interested in keeping involved and providing input on the manuscript as it evolves... basically so I can claim credit in my professional portfolio for someone else's work. I was up front about that. He seems fine with it.

He also informed me that not only is the Foundation seriously considering an extension of our grant (which would mean a couple hundred bucks for me) but that a small but well-regarded theatre in the Hamptons (with whom he has worked before) is interested in seeing the new draft to evaluate it for a possible production. So... what are you doing this summer Dave?" "Well, you know... same old stuff... working on my classes... vacation with the family... oh, yeah... and I'll be heading out to the Hamptons for the premiere of my play."

Take THAT, lackluster-profesisonal-portfolio!

As a result of the possible renewed interest in The Play, I'm also planning on registering the domain name www.the-name-of-our-play.com and putting up a small informational website with some excerpts and some links and some essays that I've written about the main character. It will look nice, it will get a few hundred hits every time somebody searches for this obscure figure in the history of science... and it will be a "significant contribution to the field" in the language of our university's expectations for professional output.

That's the plan anyway... we'll see if anyone is fooled.

it's "vermin fresh"...!

For the past few days, while waiting for my subway train and staring down at the tracks I've noticed a single piece of Altoids "Curiously Strong Chewing Gum" lying down there between the rails. I'm a big Altoids fan, so I know it when I see it. Today when I stood in my usual spot and looked down at the tracks, it was gone. I can't be sure, but I strongly suspect that today, somewhere deep beneath the streets of Manhattan, lurks a "Curiously Minty Rat".

three. fucking. degrees...

And I get on the train and all the good seats (far from doors, close to heating ducts) are taken, so I'm sitting right next to the doors, and under some kind of air-recirculation vents blowing COLD fucking air. I'm thinking of starting up Photoshop just to heat up my laptop.

So, the end is near. Three more classes, not counting the 2 finals. A review in Physics today, a lecture on extraterrestrial life in Astronomy, an Astro review on Thursday and that's all for the "teaching" part. A couple of exams, a big mountain of grading, and I'll be clear for the month of January.

Not that there isn't plenty to do during January. I need to convince my wife of this. She seems to be under the impression that Winter and Summer breaks are "vacation" time, as opposed to time that I'm supposed to be developing new courses and publishing papers and working on some kind of research. She'll claim to understand this distinction, but when it comes down to it, she's expecting me to clean and paint and fix shit. And yes there will be some time for that, as a result of having a schedule that is flexible, but really... I HAVE FUCKING WORK TO DO!! So I've already told her that on December 30th, we are sitting down with a big sheet of paper and scheduling the month of January... day by day, hour by hour, just like we did when I was unemployed. That way we'll both get time for all the "stuff" we think we want to accomplish, and we won't sit around in our pajamas all day watching 4 Netflix movies a week.

I'm actually starting to get more than a little freaked out by the whole "research agenda" business. It's starting to look more and more like we'll be expected to produce something a lot more serious in terms of published research than we've been led to expect all along. And maybe not technical scientific research, but at least "education research" (which I personally believe is a load of crap) or some kind of "significant contribution to the field". The thing is... I'm not even sure what my field IS any more. It is physics? Education? History of science? These are all things I DO, but none of them are really fields in which I'm poised to make a "contribution." What I consider my professional program is the creation and distribution of new curriculum materials and new approaches to science teaching for non-scientists. So... what "counts"? A couple articles in "The Physics Teacher?" The creation of a popular online resource? A book? A play?!

There is no kind of clarity AT ALL from the administration, because there is nobody "above us" who understands science, or more importantly - who understands the limitations on doing "real science" at an institution like this one. I'm just worried that I'll spend a year or two working on the projects that interest me the most and then find out that none of it counts for anything when my 3-year review comes along.

Anyway... I have plenty of other things to stress about right now, but this is something that's been in the back of my head lately, and pretty soon it's going to come to the FRONT of my head and I'll probably wind up in a panic of sorts. Maybe I'll add it to my list of "Things That Need To Be Done In January"...

* Plan a whole new course on acoustics
* Assemble a course reader for History of Astronomy
* At least perform some token planning for my Modern Physics course
* Order lab equipment for new courses
* Assist with the planning of the new team-taught course.
* Create a poster for a colleague's conference presentation.
* Assemble the skeleton of a departmental curriculum website
* Have at least one manuscript ready for submission/publication

Oy... what the fuck am I supposed to be painting again?

and the coroner's report will read "cause of death - three day weekend"...

I can't deal with the kids anymore. A weekend is enough for me. Add a snow day to the front of that and I swear, I'm ready to kill somebody. They make me nuts. It never stops... the yelling and the arguing and the whining and the tantrums... FUCK!

So today I'm taking some quiet time to sit in my newly-discovered cafe and sip some tea and grade some papers. Nothing like 3 days with the kids to make grading seem like a fucking TREAT. Anyway, I should really not spend too much time blogging. Just enough to have some quiet time. (At least they don't have internet access.)

I'll also mention that I finally got my first review on "ratemyprofessor.com"... a positive one, of course. No "chili peppers" though... sigh. Maybe someday. And it's not like I wouldn't rather be considered a good professor than a "hot" professor, but... you know... just once? Would be nice.

Lastly I'll mention that the incredibly hot "Danni" won Survivor last night, which was cool. Although my wife and I were both kinda pulling for Rafe. At least StephEnie didn't win. We hatess her. The funny thing about Danni was, she showed up at the finale/reunion thing wearing all this makeup with her hair all done, and I honestly think she looked a hundred times better all sweaty and jungle-y and natural. She's got that Gina Gershon lip-curl thing going on that no amount of lipsticking can improve upon. (Although it was nice to see she'd put a couple of pounds back on... she was getting a bit of a Dachau look by the end.)

Ok, fuck... it's time to put this down. Must work.

the plastic supper...

When I visited my brother last month, he mentioned that he was looking for certain works of religious art to decorate his office at The Vicarage...

This is just a prototype, of course (click to enlarge)...



I hope to have the final version shot and framed by Xmas.

whose idea was it to go sleeding today...?

MINE!! I plead temporarty insanity.

Fuck, my ankles hurt.

it finally stopped...

Just shy of a foot in the end (11.5" according to the yardstick on the back deck.) Shoveled the driveway, then the snowplow covered over the bottom 4 feet again. I'm taking a break, needless to say.

Have I mentioned before that I'm not particularly fond of the snow?

humbug...

6" + of snow already. friday is my day to stay home and get things done while the kids are at school. instead i'lll be shoveling snow and sledding and dealing with kids all day. and i know i should make of point of ENJOYING things like that, but... fuck... this week? i really can't afford to lose a whole day like this.

to science or not to science...

I've been thinking a lot lately about the relative lack of science-related stuff in this blog, and whether that's ok. I mean... it has the sciencey NAME, and much of my online identity is wrapped up in the "professor" persona, but I don't really talk all that much about what I do. Then again, purely topical blogs tend to bore me, so... I'm sure there is some kind of appropriate balance. Next year I'll be teaching a new course on the nature of science... I imagine it will spawn more reflective essays on science and the teaching of science. Maybe I should institute a "Science Friday" or something. Or rather, "Science Monday", since the other name is already taken by NPR and that chucklehead Ira Flatow.

eleven point three...

... degrees, that is. At least according to the digital thermometer, that's how cold it was this morning. Now, I know it's cold in the winter, and as much as I dislike the cold, I try to deal with it. But I don't want to be seeing and single fucking digits, people... and 11.3º is getting WAY too fucking close. As a result I've decided to adopt the Kelvin temperature system for the remainder of the season. It may not make any difference to the actual weather, but when somebody asks me about the weather I can say... "Why, it's 261 degrees!! Which is nowhere NEAR Absolute Zero!!". I imagine it will make me feel somewhat better.

Speaking of absolute zero... I was teaching about the concept in physics class the other day, and it occurred to me (after-the-fact) that I need to assemble a presentation on the topic, and that the first slide needs to be a mock vodka ad. ("Absolut Zero") Even if it's already been done... I bet their ad didn't feature a picture of Lord Kelvin.

it's ALIVE...!

Few things in this world give me more pleasure than resurrecting an old Mac from beyond the grave. I recently came across a Powerbook gathering dust in a drawer in the science lab... one of the old black curvy ones. First generation G3. I tried to turn it on... nothing... probably a dead battery... no surprise there. I rooted through the drawer and found the power cable, and its end was frayed and dangling from a thin thread of wire insulation. That would explain the dead battery. I asked someone about it and was told that a new power cord cost almost $100, and it was kind of an old computer, so nobody thought it was worth it to buy a new one.

Come ON, people...

One wire cutter, some half-assed splicing, and a foot of electrical tape later, and we have a nice 250 MHz G3 Powerbook with a 4 Gig HD running OS9 quite peppily. And my coworker who had given up a bunch of files for dead 2 years ago is going to get them back.... once I figure out how to get them off a computer with no USB port or CD-R... just an antiquated SCSI port with a weird square hole. (My coworker claims that there should be a SCSI Zip drive around somewhere, but methinks some clever AppleTalk networking will be a better solution.)

But man... when you find a dead Mac, fiddle with it for a few minutes and get rewarded by that... "PING!!" It's almost as good as sex. Not to mention it solidifies my reputation around the department as having nearly God-like computer powers.

good ideas gone bad... and back again...

Well, it started out as a good idea. I felt so crappy yesterday that I decided I was going to sleep in today. There really is no reason NOT to sleep in on Wednesdays. I have nothing to do in the city until noon. So I lay in bed until the luxurious hour of 6:35 (!!) checked the train schedule and figured I'd take the 7:29. Which was a great plan but for the fact that the Boy woke up at 6:50 and needed my attention. (The Wife was running on the treadmill, and I figured it was better for me to deal with it than have her interrupt her routine.) So I left the house 5 minutes later than I intended, but still should have had time to make the train. Except I forgot that my path to the train station takes me past a SCHOOL which is not a problem at 6:30 when I usually drive by, but turns the whole fucking area into a parking lot at 7:15. So I missed the damned train. And the next one isn't for 45 minutes. Fuck. Maybe this whole plan was NOT such a good idea.

So rather than sit in the car and run the engine the whole time, I decided to drive down the road and maybe find a cafe or something. I wasn't hoping for much... the station I go to is in the middle of nowhere between two tiny towns. Town A is too far to drive to and back again, so I head to Town B. But before I get a mile down the road, I see a sign for a HUGE new coffee place (in the middle of nowhere) and decide to drop in. Jackpot. The place is gorgeous and fireplacey inside, with a million tables... AND they brew Republic of Tea loose-leaf in a french press. Sweet.

So, I'm on my late train with a big warm cup of tea, and all is well again. I guess it ended up as a good idea after all.

train stuff...

I'm an idiot. All this time I've been taking the train into Penn Station, because in my mind that's just where trains GO. I come down from up north, change in Secaucus NJ, take the train into Penn, and take the subway from 34th down to 14th.

I've known for a while that there is another option. You can take the train PAST Secaucus to HOBOKEN. There is a train called the PATH train that runs from Hoboken terminal right to 14th street. It always seemed like it would be more trouble, and probably more expensive, since I have no idea how much the additional PATH ticket costs. Well, I recently learned that not only is the PATH ticket just $2... same as the subway I take down from Penn each day, but today I found out that a monthly ticket to Hoboken is FIFTY DOLLARS CHEAPER A MONTH than the ticket I've been buying to Penn Station.

Did I mention that I'm an idiot??

end of day...

Ugh. I have felt like The Crap all freaking day. And yet I still managed to have 2 moderately successful classes, AND finish a student recommendation letter. Accomplishment! Yay! Of course I usually like to reward myself with some goof-off time after I accomplish something, but... fuck... not THIS month. For now I need to spend the rest of the train ride gearing my brain up to deal with the mess that no doubt awaits me at home.

bleah...

I feel like crap this morning... headache... nausea... no idea why, really.

At least it didn't snow today. They were throwing around talk of 2-4 inches up here... 5" + in the city. I woke up today and...? Not a flake. What the hell? Not that I'm complaining, but... get it right, people.

Spent a good chunk of yesterday shopping with the wife. My wife bought some Xmas things, but mostly we bought things for ourselves. I needed snowboots and some jeans... a new scarf. (Long! All my current scarfs are too short and stumpy.) I also bought a new light-tan mock turtleneck. I'm wearing it today with my dark-brown blazer. I call it my "homage to Carl Sagan". (Dave's Wife: "I can't believe you're CULTIVATING that look!")

I finally did get some Xmas shopping done for the wife. Pajamas. Some iPod Nano accessories for the Nano she's planning on buying... an armband exercise-holder, a $15 iTunes gift card, etc. A few stocking stuffers. And a fairly pricey coffee machine. I know, I know... appliances for Xmas... but this is for HER... I don't drink coffee, and she frequently expresses dissatisfaction with the current coffee-making setup. This one grinds AND brews AND has a timer. In other words, you can put whole beans and 2 cups of water in it and have coffee ready in the morning. It will be a hit, I think, and count as the "big" present.

I did some grading this weekend, but not at ALL as much as I wanted/needed to. I'm very unhappy with myself about that.

Xmas has come to the Dr. Dave house. It looks like Santa's fucking workshop exploded... half-emptied bins of decorations EVERYWHERE. It's awful. The tree is about 3/4 decorated... ugh. We have about 2 weeks to get the house together in time for the Boy's b'day party and then our neighborhood Xmas party. Yes, we're throwing a Christmas party. No, I don't know what's wrong with us.

a quick rant...

Hey! MTA! Is the $260 a fucking month I pay to ride the train three fucking days a week not enough for you? You're gonna start charging me for PARKING in this barely-used station out in the middle of nowhere?? Another two bucks a day?? Fuck you. Especially given that half the time I wind up standing up on the goddamned train. You'd better fucking use that extra two bucks to add a couple more cars to each train, you greedy bastards.

dave translates the label on his new jeans...

what it says: "Comfortable waist, Relaxed seat and thigh."

what it means: "Here, try THESE on, FAT-ASS!"

O!! Tannenbaum!!!

Prepared for the annual ordeal of freezing my ass off while whiny children and picky wives stand in a circle and reject fir after fir, I was stunned today to drive to the local farm, get out of the car, pull an absolutely perfect tree out of the stack on the first try and toss it on the roof. The whole process took maybe 3 minutes.

"And what happened then? Well in Whoville, they say that the Grinch's small heart grew THREE SIZES that day!"

have i mentioned that i hate grading...?

It never fails.... any time I get all geared up to grade papers, I barely get started before a case of flagrant plagiarism crops up and pisses me off.

It's right there in the syllabus... DO NOT COPY AND PASTE STUFF FROM THE WEB, I WILL GOOGLE YOU AND FIND OUT. Do they really think I'm too stupid to spot writing that is OBVIOUSLY not written by a non-science college student?? "... and measure the three-dimensional structure and dynamic behavior of the magnetosphere" DING! DING! DING! Off to Google we go!

And it wasn't even plagiarized fome someplace GOOD, but fucking Wikipedia!!

Lazy fuckers.

ok... i'm done screwing around...

Today is the last day. One more train ride of fucking around and doing nothing and I'm DONE. It has reached that critical point where one more day of procrastinating will get me fired. If I don't start grading some crap now, there is no way I'm gonna get through it all before the final, and I want the students to have MOST of their stuff back before the exam. And I have deadlines with regard to equipment to order and letters of recommendation to write that need to be done NOW if they are going to get done at all.

So.

I am making some deals with myself. No TV tonite until I finish this recommendation letter. Then I will grade Astronomy papers tomorrow morning. Once finished, I may allow myself a trip to B&N or Target to do some Xmas shopping. Saturday night I will handle departmental administrative tasks and answer nagging backlogged emails. Then Monday I will grade Physics and Astronomy homeworks, and a make-up Midterm exam.

By Tuesday I will be giddy with accomplishment. You wait and see.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I'm off to enjoy my final two hours of fuckoffery.

more great ideas from the procrastination department...

Hey, Dave! You know what would be a great idea to spend your time on this morning? Instead of actually planning your lectures, spend about an hour fucking around with that new "outlining" program that came with your Mac. That would be great to use for lecture planning. And given that it's three weeks before the end of the semester... what better time to go and change your workflow by adding a brand new tool to the process?!