somebody get me a patch...
A long while ago, I picked up a pack of those new flavory Camel cigarettes. I don’t even SMOKE, but I couldn’t resist the idea of a citrus/mint flavored cigarette, so I had to give it a shot. Well, I was pretty unimpressed... the flavor is waaaaaay in the background behind the nasty cigarette smoke flavor, so it didn’t really add enough to the experience to make it worth keeping up. But I couldn’t just throw them away, so they sat in the console of my car for a long time.
Anyway, lately I’ve been doing a lot more driving alone, and whenever I do I find myself lighting up another one... and I’ve gotten to that dangerous point where not only I can take a respectable drag without coughing, and not only do I no longer feel the need to pop an Altoid IMMEDIATELY after finishing a smoke to get rid of the disgusting taste... not only all that, but I’m actually kinda starting to enjoy it. Yeah... I know. Bad. Who the fuck starts smoking when they are 35??
There really is no limit to the stupid, silly behavior I find myself engaging in.
Sunday, May 30
køllekten jünk...
Ikea is having their big summer sale this weekend. We went yesterday and spent $182. That's not the amazing part. The amazing part is that almost nothing we bought cost more than 8 bucks.
We didn't buy any furniture... yet. My Mom is coming to visit next week in her Giant Pickup Truck. (Don't even ask.... becuase I don't know.) So we're going back to buy a chair, and who-knows-what. It's too bad we don't know exactly what the layout of our rooms are, or we'd be going nuts.
We also found some PERFECT cabinet-pulls for the kitchen. The builder couldn't get us what we really wanted... the styles we liked were always either discontinued or they were insanely expensive. But Ikea has these long, gracefully curving, stainless steel cabinet pulls for $6.99 a pair. The problem is, we have NO IDEA how many to buy!! So we bought 2 to get the measurements, we're going to call the builder on Monday - hope they haven't installed the pulls, and if the HAVEN'T... we're going to buy the rest from Ikea and FedEx them down there. Insane, right? They're just cabinet handles! But we know what we like.
Anyway... that was yesterday. Today, I guess we'll just put everything we bought yesterday into boxes.
I'm gonna go get the paper now and read the Memorial Day Sale ads. Who knows? Maybe there's something out there that we haven't bought yet!!
Ikea is having their big summer sale this weekend. We went yesterday and spent $182. That's not the amazing part. The amazing part is that almost nothing we bought cost more than 8 bucks.
We didn't buy any furniture... yet. My Mom is coming to visit next week in her Giant Pickup Truck. (Don't even ask.... becuase I don't know.) So we're going back to buy a chair, and who-knows-what. It's too bad we don't know exactly what the layout of our rooms are, or we'd be going nuts.
We also found some PERFECT cabinet-pulls for the kitchen. The builder couldn't get us what we really wanted... the styles we liked were always either discontinued or they were insanely expensive. But Ikea has these long, gracefully curving, stainless steel cabinet pulls for $6.99 a pair. The problem is, we have NO IDEA how many to buy!! So we bought 2 to get the measurements, we're going to call the builder on Monday - hope they haven't installed the pulls, and if the HAVEN'T... we're going to buy the rest from Ikea and FedEx them down there. Insane, right? They're just cabinet handles! But we know what we like.
Anyway... that was yesterday. Today, I guess we'll just put everything we bought yesterday into boxes.
I'm gonna go get the paper now and read the Memorial Day Sale ads. Who knows? Maybe there's something out there that we haven't bought yet!!
Friday, May 28
ok... ok... i'll DO IT!!
It seems we are hosting a "sleepover" for my daughter and one of her friends tonight, which means for 24 hours we essentially have 3 children. It's a little crazy around here. I finally caught on, and said to my wife...
"This is all just a ploy to convince me to get a vasectomy, isn't it??"
It may be working.
It seems we are hosting a "sleepover" for my daughter and one of her friends tonight, which means for 24 hours we essentially have 3 children. It's a little crazy around here. I finally caught on, and said to my wife...
"This is all just a ploy to convince me to get a vasectomy, isn't it??"
It may be working.
mimi and me...
I got another email from Mimi Smartypants yesterday. I'm not even gonna tell you what it was about... I'll just let you all imagine how great it was, just like I do whenever I read about another blogger who had some sort of interaction with her - either in real life or online - and I get all jaw-clenchy with envy.
You see, I love you all... all my readers who have weblogs. I try to read you all every day... especially those of you who leave notes, or who I've linked to in my sidebar. (Which now has TWO link-lists... I know... long story... the verdict is still out on "Blogroll") I enjoy all of your weblogs, but Mimi... she is in another league altogether. Her weblog is everything I wish mine was.... smart, hip, funny, erudite, bizarre. I worship the ground she blogs on. And while I know she's happily married, I can't help but dream that some day I might become Mrs. Mimi Smartypants. (Or the equivalent)
And since she doesn't have notes or comments on her weblog, sometimes I send her an email. But only when I have something REALLY funny or smart or cool to say, cuz I don't want her to think I'm a big dork. (Something YOU all already know.) And I've never gotten any indication that she's ever visited my weblog, which is great, cuz I'm a sucker for women who ignore me. But every once in a while I'll get an email back from her like 2 months later and my heart goes all a-twitter.
Sigh...
She once told me "I gave good mail." That has got to be the coolest thing any woman has ever said to me.
You can all go ahead and be jealous now.
I got another email from Mimi Smartypants yesterday. I'm not even gonna tell you what it was about... I'll just let you all imagine how great it was, just like I do whenever I read about another blogger who had some sort of interaction with her - either in real life or online - and I get all jaw-clenchy with envy.
You see, I love you all... all my readers who have weblogs. I try to read you all every day... especially those of you who leave notes, or who I've linked to in my sidebar. (Which now has TWO link-lists... I know... long story... the verdict is still out on "Blogroll") I enjoy all of your weblogs, but Mimi... she is in another league altogether. Her weblog is everything I wish mine was.... smart, hip, funny, erudite, bizarre. I worship the ground she blogs on. And while I know she's happily married, I can't help but dream that some day I might become Mrs. Mimi Smartypants. (Or the equivalent)
And since she doesn't have notes or comments on her weblog, sometimes I send her an email. But only when I have something REALLY funny or smart or cool to say, cuz I don't want her to think I'm a big dork. (Something YOU all already know.) And I've never gotten any indication that she's ever visited my weblog, which is great, cuz I'm a sucker for women who ignore me. But every once in a while I'll get an email back from her like 2 months later and my heart goes all a-twitter.
Sigh...
She once told me "I gave good mail." That has got to be the coolest thing any woman has ever said to me.
You can all go ahead and be jealous now.
go away, loser britney fans...
Ok... I admit it. Like most of the things I do online, establishing a presence over at Blogcritics was, in part anyway, a ploy to get some more readers over here to my weblog. After a few days, it’s pretty clear from the hitcounter that it’s not working, and you know what? I’m actually kinda glad. Because I’m really not finding the same caliber of people over there that I find in my circle of blog-friends. You should see some of the comments I get on my reviews. I made an offhand remark in a review of Avril Lavigne about Britney Spears sucking, and you’d have thought I besmirched the name of the Queen of England or something. People went fucking nuts. It spawned a string of 1000 word treatises on the merits of pop music. Jesus Fuckme Christ, people. It’s Britney Spears. Lighten the fuck up!!
Anyway, I’m thinking of taking down the URL that links what I write over there to what I write here, because I’m not sure I want those losers coming over here, spreading their loserness. To be fair... I’ve gotten some really nice emails from people who seem to be able to put a sentence together, but that DEFINITELY doesn’t seem to be the norm there.
So, thank you dear readers for all being smart, mature, non-losers. And if any of you happens to listen to Britney Spears, just do me a favor and please don’t tell me about it!
Ok... I admit it. Like most of the things I do online, establishing a presence over at Blogcritics was, in part anyway, a ploy to get some more readers over here to my weblog. After a few days, it’s pretty clear from the hitcounter that it’s not working, and you know what? I’m actually kinda glad. Because I’m really not finding the same caliber of people over there that I find in my circle of blog-friends. You should see some of the comments I get on my reviews. I made an offhand remark in a review of Avril Lavigne about Britney Spears sucking, and you’d have thought I besmirched the name of the Queen of England or something. People went fucking nuts. It spawned a string of 1000 word treatises on the merits of pop music. Jesus Fuckme Christ, people. It’s Britney Spears. Lighten the fuck up!!
Anyway, I’m thinking of taking down the URL that links what I write over there to what I write here, because I’m not sure I want those losers coming over here, spreading their loserness. To be fair... I’ve gotten some really nice emails from people who seem to be able to put a sentence together, but that DEFINITELY doesn’t seem to be the norm there.
So, thank you dear readers for all being smart, mature, non-losers. And if any of you happens to listen to Britney Spears, just do me a favor and please don’t tell me about it!
Thursday, May 27
i've killed it...
I just re-read my past week's worth of entries, and I've come to the following conclusion.
My weblog officially sucks.
All this work over the past few months to make it funnier and to write more and to write better... and now I've just sucked all the life right out of it.
Damn.
Next thing you know I'll be reduced to filling my pages with those "What Kind of Dental Instrument Are You?" survey things.
I just re-read my past week's worth of entries, and I've come to the following conclusion.
My weblog officially sucks.
All this work over the past few months to make it funnier and to write more and to write better... and now I've just sucked all the life right out of it.
Damn.
Next thing you know I'll be reduced to filling my pages with those "What Kind of Dental Instrument Are You?" survey things.
prey for it to finally be OVER...
The wife had another "Mom's Night Out" last night, so I decided to have a Dad's Night In, which involved me, a bag of Doritos, and a rental of "Prey for Rock and Roll".
And lest any of you out there think that there is NO WAY that a movie script could be SO BAD that it couldn't be rescued by a generous helping of Gina Gershon in leather pants and acres of fake tattoos...
You'd be wrong.
After the girl-girl sex scene 8 minutes in, it was straight downhill.
Oh Gina... please someday make a movie which does not suck, so that I can stop being embarrased for being so madly in love with you. Is "Bound" truly the best I can hope for??
The wife had another "Mom's Night Out" last night, so I decided to have a Dad's Night In, which involved me, a bag of Doritos, and a rental of "Prey for Rock and Roll".
And lest any of you out there think that there is NO WAY that a movie script could be SO BAD that it couldn't be rescued by a generous helping of Gina Gershon in leather pants and acres of fake tattoos...
You'd be wrong.
After the girl-girl sex scene 8 minutes in, it was straight downhill.
Oh Gina... please someday make a movie which does not suck, so that I can stop being embarrased for being so madly in love with you. Is "Bound" truly the best I can hope for??
Wednesday, May 26
boxes, episode i...
Since I have nothing to write about anymore, being stuck at home and all... I think every day I'll just come here and make a list of things that I put in boxes that day...
...that's some fascinating reading right there, huh?
And now I will go and change the diaper of a stinky little boy.
When the hell do I get to go back to work again??
Since I have nothing to write about anymore, being stuck at home and all... I think every day I'll just come here and make a list of things that I put in boxes that day...
1) picture frames
2) toys
3) display shelves and knicknacks
4) hats, scarves, gloves, boots and mittens
5) more picture frames
...that's some fascinating reading right there, huh?
And now I will go and change the diaper of a stinky little boy.
When the hell do I get to go back to work again??
Tuesday, May 25
avril...
Avril Lavigne was on Letterman last night. I'm always pleasantly surprised when I see her and realize that she doesn't suck. I mean... it's nice to see a girl play GUITAR... even if she's not very good. Hell. it's just nice to see a girl keep her damned clothes on. Even if her only contribution to the musical landscape is to give a small fraction of 15 year old girls soemthing to listen to other than Britstina Spearguilera... that's good enough for me.
Plus, I like how sometimes she sounds like Alanis, only less so. Which reminds me... I should probably go buy that CD too.
Avril Lavigne was on Letterman last night. I'm always pleasantly surprised when I see her and realize that she doesn't suck. I mean... it's nice to see a girl play GUITAR... even if she's not very good. Hell. it's just nice to see a girl keep her damned clothes on. Even if her only contribution to the musical landscape is to give a small fraction of 15 year old girls soemthing to listen to other than Britstina Spearguilera... that's good enough for me.
Plus, I like how sometimes she sounds like Alanis, only less so. Which reminds me... I should probably go buy that CD too.
dvdpalooza...
I went a little nutty on DVD's yesterday. Koyaanisqatsi and Powaqqatsi were both on sale at Borders for $9.99... a no-brainer. Then later on we went to Target and we had a 10% off coupon from when we signed up for our Target Visa card, and I bought the new special edition of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly as well as the new Speed Racer collector's set and finally... Akira.
My god... that sounds geeky.
I don't care. It makes up for the fact that I didn't get an anniversary present. (Just an IOU/gift promise) Pffft.
*** *** ***
So... have you noticed how much shorter and less frequent the entries have become already? I miss my train! I have been busy with work, though. I finished all my grading Sunday and submitted all my final grades electronically yesterday. I'm going to have to file a correction for one student who still hasn't made up the exam, but other than that, I'm done. Sigh...
Not much else is going on.
I went a little nutty on DVD's yesterday. Koyaanisqatsi and Powaqqatsi were both on sale at Borders for $9.99... a no-brainer. Then later on we went to Target and we had a 10% off coupon from when we signed up for our Target Visa card, and I bought the new special edition of The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly as well as the new Speed Racer collector's set and finally... Akira.
My god... that sounds geeky.
I don't care. It makes up for the fact that I didn't get an anniversary present. (Just an IOU/gift promise) Pffft.
So... have you noticed how much shorter and less frequent the entries have become already? I miss my train! I have been busy with work, though. I finished all my grading Sunday and submitted all my final grades electronically yesterday. I'm going to have to file a correction for one student who still hasn't made up the exam, but other than that, I'm done. Sigh...
Not much else is going on.
Monday, May 24
look at me... i’m a critic...
I joined up with the website Blogcritics yesterday. It’s kind of an excuse to make myself write more serious stuff and less whiny crap and silly nonsense. So, I yanked a bunch of old reviews of albums I wrote over that past three years and posted them – just to get started. You can check out my entries over there if you want. There is a review of “Elephant” by the White Stripes that I never posted here. Everything else is older junk.
So now the onus is upon me to actually write NEW reviews. I don’t go to movies, so I guess it’s just music reviews plus the occasional semi-coherent political rant. I’ll try to do one every week. I’ll probably do Ryan Adams next. I am really quickly falling in love with that guy. (Speaking purely musically, of course.)
Anyway. Today is my anniversary. Everybody around here is pretty crabby, but my wife and I are still gonna try to go out to dinner tonight. That should be... I dunno... it’s kinda hard to get excited about anniversaries after seven years, y’know? ”Oh look... it’s... still... YOU.”
Nah... I kid. Marriage is great. Yippee!
I joined up with the website Blogcritics yesterday. It’s kind of an excuse to make myself write more serious stuff and less whiny crap and silly nonsense. So, I yanked a bunch of old reviews of albums I wrote over that past three years and posted them – just to get started. You can check out my entries over there if you want. There is a review of “Elephant” by the White Stripes that I never posted here. Everything else is older junk.
So now the onus is upon me to actually write NEW reviews. I don’t go to movies, so I guess it’s just music reviews plus the occasional semi-coherent political rant. I’ll try to do one every week. I’ll probably do Ryan Adams next. I am really quickly falling in love with that guy. (Speaking purely musically, of course.)
Anyway. Today is my anniversary. Everybody around here is pretty crabby, but my wife and I are still gonna try to go out to dinner tonight. That should be... I dunno... it’s kinda hard to get excited about anniversaries after seven years, y’know? ”Oh look... it’s... still... YOU.”
Nah... I kid. Marriage is great. Yippee!
Sunday, May 23
best in show...
We were watching the end of a Dog Show on Animal Planet last night (I know – sad) and they were running down the winners of all the categories, when they announced “Philipe, The Giant Schnauzer”... oh my god... I don’t know why... I just started laughing uncontrollably... it was almost a milk-out-the-nose moment... I’m not even sure why I found it so funny, except that it sounds like a really bad French monster movie.
“Mon Dieu! C’est une schnauseur gigantique!”
I’m sorry.
We were watching the end of a Dog Show on Animal Planet last night (I know – sad) and they were running down the winners of all the categories, when they announced “Philipe, The Giant Schnauzer”... oh my god... I don’t know why... I just started laughing uncontrollably... it was almost a milk-out-the-nose moment... I’m not even sure why I found it so funny, except that it sounds like a really bad French monster movie.
“Mon Dieu! C’est une schnauseur gigantique!”
I’m sorry.
Saturday, May 22
bad backs, robot chairs, and clueless punks...
I wake up every morning lately feeling like I’ve been folded in half... which is probably because I have been. I’ve developed some really bad sleeping habits lately. I usually find myself laying on my side right side with my LEFT hand by my head and my left elbow against my body. So essentially my shoulders are like 4” closer together than they should be. And as a result, my left shoulder is KILLING me ALL the time. Add to this the fact that when I sleep on my side, I usually rotate my hips so that they face DOWN... and my LOWER back doesn’t feel so hot either. I desperately need a massage.
Speaking of massages, I tried out the iJoy chair at the Sharper Image yesterday. Sold! Seriously. I’ll take two. I mean... god damn. I don’t care if it IS $800, I don’t care if it’s an extravagant expense... we’re getting one as soon as we move. Robot massages every day!
I also bought myself a Skägen watch that was 50% off. Check out my White Guy Yuppie Bling-Bling!
Speaking of White Guy Yuppies, I had a weird encounter with a punk on the streets of Manhattan yesterday morning. I was walking down the street at like 7:30 AM, heading for McD’s to grab a Sausage McHeartAttack Biscuit or something for breakfast and to use the restroom when I passed this punk 20-something big-coat-wearing-in-the-summertime type guy, and when I pass him he says – “Hey man, you got a cigarette I can borrow?” ...and I just said –“Sorry” – and kept on walking. Well this was apparently NOT the right answer because as I walk away I hear this guy muttering under his breath... ”Sorry...’Sorry’... god damn white yuppie mumble mumble motherfucker....”
And ok... fine... carrying a briefcase and not smoking makes me a “yuppie motherfucker”... fine. I have no problem with that. What I do have a problem with is...
Dude. YOU’RE WHITE TOO!! What the fuck?
I wake up every morning lately feeling like I’ve been folded in half... which is probably because I have been. I’ve developed some really bad sleeping habits lately. I usually find myself laying on my side right side with my LEFT hand by my head and my left elbow against my body. So essentially my shoulders are like 4” closer together than they should be. And as a result, my left shoulder is KILLING me ALL the time. Add to this the fact that when I sleep on my side, I usually rotate my hips so that they face DOWN... and my LOWER back doesn’t feel so hot either. I desperately need a massage.
Speaking of massages, I tried out the iJoy chair at the Sharper Image yesterday. Sold! Seriously. I’ll take two. I mean... god damn. I don’t care if it IS $800, I don’t care if it’s an extravagant expense... we’re getting one as soon as we move. Robot massages every day!
I also bought myself a Skägen watch that was 50% off. Check out my White Guy Yuppie Bling-Bling!
Speaking of White Guy Yuppies, I had a weird encounter with a punk on the streets of Manhattan yesterday morning. I was walking down the street at like 7:30 AM, heading for McD’s to grab a Sausage McHeartAttack Biscuit or something for breakfast and to use the restroom when I passed this punk 20-something big-coat-wearing-in-the-summertime type guy, and when I pass him he says – “Hey man, you got a cigarette I can borrow?” ...and I just said –“Sorry” – and kept on walking. Well this was apparently NOT the right answer because as I walk away I hear this guy muttering under his breath... ”Sorry...’Sorry’... god damn white yuppie mumble mumble motherfucker....”
And ok... fine... carrying a briefcase and not smoking makes me a “yuppie motherfucker”... fine. I have no problem with that. What I do have a problem with is...
Dude. YOU’RE WHITE TOO!! What the fuck?
Friday, May 21
i love doing this...
I'm at the mall, outside the Apple Store, posting to my weblog and checking my email for no other reason than because I can. The Apple Store totally fucking rocks.
I left the house a little after 5:00 AM, got to the office a little before 7:00, loaded up and was out of the city by 9:30. I had to appease the security gurds a little as I carted out a trunkload of computers (no... they're mine... really!) but otherwise the morning went smoothly. I turned in my key... I'm OUT.
And now to do some anniversary shopping!
I'm at the mall, outside the Apple Store, posting to my weblog and checking my email for no other reason than because I can. The Apple Store totally fucking rocks.
I left the house a little after 5:00 AM, got to the office a little before 7:00, loaded up and was out of the city by 9:30. I had to appease the security gurds a little as I carted out a trunkload of computers (no... they're mine... really!) but otherwise the morning went smoothly. I turned in my key... I'm OUT.
And now to do some anniversary shopping!
the latest meme...
I saw this one a couple of places yesterday - list one band you listen to beginning with every letter of the alphabet. I'm not sure if it's a RULE, but I tried to stick only to bands that I actually OWNED a CD by. (I only had to cheat twice.) I tried to pick the most favorite band for each letter, but sometimes I picked the one that makes me seem the coolest.
Anyway, it was actually prety easy for me, because I'm anal and keep my CD collection alphabetized!
I saw this one a couple of places yesterday - list one band you listen to beginning with every letter of the alphabet. I'm not sure if it's a RULE, but I tried to stick only to bands that I actually OWNED a CD by. (I only had to cheat twice.) I tried to pick the most favorite band for each letter, but sometimes I picked the one that makes me seem the coolest.
Anyway, it was actually prety easy for me, because I'm anal and keep my CD collection alphabetized!
A. Afghan Whigs
B. Björk
C. Counting Crows
D. DiFranco, Ani
E. Etheridge, Melissa
F. Flaming Lips
G. Glass, Philip
H. Harvey, PJ
I. Indigo Girls
J. Jones, Norah
K. Kronos Quartet
L. Lyle Lovett
M. Mann, Aimee
N. Nine Inch Nails
O. O’Connor, Sinead
P. Pearl Jam
Q. Queen (There must be a greatest hits CD around here somewhere)
R. Rush
S. The Sundays
T. Tool
U. U2 (Ok, I don’t actually OWN a U2 album. I do have some cassette singles!)
V. Vaughn, Stevie Ray
W. White Stripes
X. XTC (Actually I think I sold that CD on Half.com)
Y. Yes
Z. Zeppelin, Led (Yeah, I cheated on this one.)
Thursday, May 20
ok... one thing...
How the fuck long does the basketball post-season last? Is it the finals yet? It seems like there have been playoffs going on for 2 months. Am I wrong?
It's one of those laws of nature I guess - the less you care about a sport, the more pervasive it seems. My Dad used to complain this much about tennis every summer...
"Everytime I turn on the god-damned TV that god-damned Wimpleton is on."
Ahh... Dad.
How the fuck long does the basketball post-season last? Is it the finals yet? It seems like there have been playoffs going on for 2 months. Am I wrong?
It's one of those laws of nature I guess - the less you care about a sport, the more pervasive it seems. My Dad used to complain this much about tennis every summer...
"Everytime I turn on the god-damned TV that god-damned Wimpleton is on."
Ahh... Dad.
Wednesday, May 19
payback...
... for the few hours of alone time the past few days – yet another Mom’s Night Out. Why can’t the Mom’s have a LUNCH out for fuck’s sake? And why is it always on a Bath Night??
Actually – bathtime isn’t so bad now that the Little One is old enough to be trusted not to drown. I just put them both in there and sit in the hallway with my laptop – getting up occasionally to break up a fight or to wash someone.
And since the Little Guy didn’t get his afternoon nap today, he should probably get to sleep with almost no fight. So, all in all, I expect a pretty uneventful night.
Once the kids are asleep I have a single Reasonable Achievable Goal for the night, which is to mark the mountain of homework assignments for my Astronomy and Physics classes. Note how I say “mark” and not “grade”. Basically – either you did it or you didn’t, and your HW grade is the number of assignments you turned in times 10. Simple. Quick. Ok... I may give them each a quick glance to make sure they aren’t writing complete gobbledegook, but no more.
Interestingly enough, MS Word thinks it knows the word “gobledegook” but asserts that it should be spelled with a “y” in the middle. I disagree.
So – that’s THAT. Here’s hoping all my readers have a more exciting night planned than I do!
... for the few hours of alone time the past few days – yet another Mom’s Night Out. Why can’t the Mom’s have a LUNCH out for fuck’s sake? And why is it always on a Bath Night??
Actually – bathtime isn’t so bad now that the Little One is old enough to be trusted not to drown. I just put them both in there and sit in the hallway with my laptop – getting up occasionally to break up a fight or to wash someone.
And since the Little Guy didn’t get his afternoon nap today, he should probably get to sleep with almost no fight. So, all in all, I expect a pretty uneventful night.
Once the kids are asleep I have a single Reasonable Achievable Goal for the night, which is to mark the mountain of homework assignments for my Astronomy and Physics classes. Note how I say “mark” and not “grade”. Basically – either you did it or you didn’t, and your HW grade is the number of assignments you turned in times 10. Simple. Quick. Ok... I may give them each a quick glance to make sure they aren’t writing complete gobbledegook, but no more.
Interestingly enough, MS Word thinks it knows the word “gobledegook” but asserts that it should be spelled with a “y” in the middle. I disagree.
So – that’s THAT. Here’s hoping all my readers have a more exciting night planned than I do!
and he spake unto them, saying...
There shall be a Great Dying upon the land. For I am called Ortho, the Destroyer, and I shall lay my vengeance upon all those who displease me.
And fear of the Armageddon fell upon all those who walk upon six legs
And you shall find no comfort in the back yard, nor in the front yard, nor along the driveway, nor in the shade of the pear tree, for His wrath is great, and His vision is wide, and a Gallon of this stuff doth go a long way.
And so their anthills were laid waste, one by one. And Ortho, the Destroyer looked on, and was pleased.
But still there were some who defied him. And he spake unto them saying...
If thou shouldst maketh thineselves into a long line, and proceedeth into His house to feast upon the morsels of Blue’s Clues Macaroni which falleth upon His floor - This shall be an Abomination unto Him
And he shall rain Black Death upon thee from the can that is called “Raid”
And ye shall writhe upon thy back on the floor of His kitchen and beg for His mercy
But no mercy shall you receive.
( the Book of Ants I: 10 – 18)
There shall be a Great Dying upon the land. For I am called Ortho, the Destroyer, and I shall lay my vengeance upon all those who displease me.
And fear of the Armageddon fell upon all those who walk upon six legs
And you shall find no comfort in the back yard, nor in the front yard, nor along the driveway, nor in the shade of the pear tree, for His wrath is great, and His vision is wide, and a Gallon of this stuff doth go a long way.
And so their anthills were laid waste, one by one. And Ortho, the Destroyer looked on, and was pleased.
But still there were some who defied him. And he spake unto them saying...
If thou shouldst maketh thineselves into a long line, and proceedeth into His house to feast upon the morsels of Blue’s Clues Macaroni which falleth upon His floor - This shall be an Abomination unto Him
And he shall rain Black Death upon thee from the can that is called “Raid”
And ye shall writhe upon thy back on the floor of His kitchen and beg for His mercy
But no mercy shall you receive.
( the Book of Ants I: 10 – 18)
Tuesday, May 18
twice in one day...!
The wife has left again, taking both children with her for a "playdate".
To which I say.... Yahoo!!
I shall now do something productive (and manly!) in the form of spraying all of the gargantuan anthills in the front yard with chemicals that can't possibly be good for the environment. Having satisfied my "do something productive" imperative, I shall retire to the basement and watch the Special Features on my new "Rocky" DVD which I bought at Wal-Mart for $8.98.
I love summer vacation!
The wife has left again, taking both children with her for a "playdate".
To which I say.... Yahoo!!
I shall now do something productive (and manly!) in the form of spraying all of the gargantuan anthills in the front yard with chemicals that can't possibly be good for the environment. Having satisfied my "do something productive" imperative, I shall retire to the basement and watch the Special Features on my new "Rocky" DVD which I bought at Wal-Mart for $8.98.
I love summer vacation!
a hairpin poilicy, indeed...
Are they outsourcing the writing of spam to schizophrenics now? (From yesterday's mailbox...)
Bug oligarchy doesn mow folded mode correct project default must kind
category problems flopping didn create matter cherish few checks h mode
pc. Probably multiplicative one is dealnews event costello good dealing
can folds doing colonnade fantasist as current being bush another fixed at
puissant. Number january alias is but your number rib newcastle etc. And
if memory matt information tete aloud. Please does m app is why get
message basic good gt meta sidetrack macromolecular being aviary. The back
douglafs number payday sidetrack dealing the days staph size thanks
macromolecular for network going do of re ibid forums dadaism int instead.
Stockpile list best in from fine not n arts abrahams its a conjugacy re
functions resign haven edwin massage everyone list have old go undo.
Network gt puissant on the why found fantasist i let better but other
dealnews bumblebee n. Local mine probably check him my gone the current
mean earthmoving cherish appall might lot folded in automated thanks edwin
abutting it denigfrate. There continuo must at previous from behest
general but after for ipfw what able. From eastward fine daniel mean for
but of freemen behalf calls thursday lot general back balfour search
manual another bravo mow available. Or again in an make h does folded
found history metrowerks the back memory need gone guide yuck why on can.
Always stockpile search consanguine most h. Mow if bush least news bolt
childish wharton basic behest gt mine again been please like open seat.
Changes already matt iterator aflready folded doesn gt pessimism cleanup
against of there smaller me dreamlike html it. Complexion event format
from information good bit bush bit cried access it are uri check cite app
smattering committee do. Files article an ancestry t because wednesday etc
groups might there arpeggio empathy fine know am a hairpin policy.
Are they outsourcing the writing of spam to schizophrenics now? (From yesterday's mailbox...)
Bug oligarchy doesn mow folded mode correct project default must kind
category problems flopping didn create matter cherish few checks h mode
pc. Probably multiplicative one is dealnews event costello good dealing
can folds doing colonnade fantasist as current being bush another fixed at
puissant. Number january alias is but your number rib newcastle etc. And
if memory matt information tete aloud. Please does m app is why get
message basic good gt meta sidetrack macromolecular being aviary. The back
douglafs number payday sidetrack dealing the days staph size thanks
macromolecular for network going do of re ibid forums dadaism int instead.
Stockpile list best in from fine not n arts abrahams its a conjugacy re
functions resign haven edwin massage everyone list have old go undo.
Network gt puissant on the why found fantasist i let better but other
dealnews bumblebee n. Local mine probably check him my gone the current
mean earthmoving cherish appall might lot folded in automated thanks edwin
abutting it denigfrate. There continuo must at previous from behest
general but after for ipfw what able. From eastward fine daniel mean for
but of freemen behalf calls thursday lot general back balfour search
manual another bravo mow available. Or again in an make h does folded
found history metrowerks the back memory need gone guide yuck why on can.
Always stockpile search consanguine most h. Mow if bush least news bolt
childish wharton basic behest gt mine again been please like open seat.
Changes already matt iterator aflready folded doesn gt pessimism cleanup
against of there smaller me dreamlike html it. Complexion event format
from information good bit bush bit cried access it are uri check cite app
smattering committee do. Files article an ancestry t because wednesday etc
groups might there arpeggio empathy fine know am a hairpin policy.
one down...
I convinced my wife to take the Little One with her today when she took The Girl to dance class. As a result I had some time alone, and I managed to get one of my classes completely graded and the final semester grades submitted.
I would say I’m 1/3 done, except that this class had 7 students and my other two have 20.
Still... it feels good to have that sense of “completion” – minimal as it may be.
I convinced my wife to take the Little One with her today when she took The Girl to dance class. As a result I had some time alone, and I managed to get one of my classes completely graded and the final semester grades submitted.
I would say I’m 1/3 done, except that this class had 7 students and my other two have 20.
Still... it feels good to have that sense of “completion” – minimal as it may be.
damn, that took longer than I thought...
I thought maybe I’d have a couple of hours free today, but it didn’t really turn out that way. I boxed up 8 boxes full of books, papers, and office sundries... threw away some big piles of trash... printed out a students’ 30 page research paper, read it over, and met with them about it... photocopied chapters from books I have to return but haven’t finished with... returned same said books to 2 different libraries and to a few colleagues around the department from whom they were borrowed... took all my geeky posters down from the walls....packed up some computer whoozits and doodads... took some things back to the science lab where I stole them from... wshew! It took all fucking day!
Ok, well there was a little time there for a stopover at Uno for some lunch. During my walk there, I noticed a large number of paper “No Parking Tuesday” and “No Parking Wednesday” signs posted by the police all up and down the streets next to the school. This troubled me, as I was planning on driving into the city on Wednesday to load all these damned boxes into the car. So... what’s the deal?
Well, it turns out that the 9/11 Commission is using one of our university buildings for the next two days! Yay. That means closed streets, high security, and blocked exits... not the best time to be trying to cart out truckloads of heavy boxes and computer equipment to your car, huh? Fuck. Now I don’t EVEN know what to do. There are graduations Thursday and Friday, so that’s not much better. But I made plans with students for picking up papers and turning in exams on Wednesday... Grrrr. It’s a huge fucking wrench thrown into my plans for the week.
I thought maybe I’d have a couple of hours free today, but it didn’t really turn out that way. I boxed up 8 boxes full of books, papers, and office sundries... threw away some big piles of trash... printed out a students’ 30 page research paper, read it over, and met with them about it... photocopied chapters from books I have to return but haven’t finished with... returned same said books to 2 different libraries and to a few colleagues around the department from whom they were borrowed... took all my geeky posters down from the walls....packed up some computer whoozits and doodads... took some things back to the science lab where I stole them from... wshew! It took all fucking day!
Ok, well there was a little time there for a stopover at Uno for some lunch. During my walk there, I noticed a large number of paper “No Parking Tuesday” and “No Parking Wednesday” signs posted by the police all up and down the streets next to the school. This troubled me, as I was planning on driving into the city on Wednesday to load all these damned boxes into the car. So... what’s the deal?
Well, it turns out that the 9/11 Commission is using one of our university buildings for the next two days! Yay. That means closed streets, high security, and blocked exits... not the best time to be trying to cart out truckloads of heavy boxes and computer equipment to your car, huh? Fuck. Now I don’t EVEN know what to do. There are graduations Thursday and Friday, so that’s not much better. But I made plans with students for picking up papers and turning in exams on Wednesday... Grrrr. It’s a huge fucking wrench thrown into my plans for the week.
Monday, May 17
dope, phat, freaky-fresh rhymes on the train...
There are these two young black guys on the train who were talking a while ago, but now the one guy is just staring out the window talking, and I can’t really hear him very well, but I assume he’s “freestylin’” because I hear an awful lot of rhymes, and somehow it sounds like he’s making it up. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s a real song... who knows? Anyway, several times I heard him rhyming ”wack rap” with “knapsack”.
And while I’m not so white as to be unimpressed with freestyle rapping as an fascinating skill, I can’t help but wonder... “knapsack”?? Who the hell even says “knapsack” anymore??
What’s the next line? Something involving “flapjacks” perhaps?
There are these two young black guys on the train who were talking a while ago, but now the one guy is just staring out the window talking, and I can’t really hear him very well, but I assume he’s “freestylin’” because I hear an awful lot of rhymes, and somehow it sounds like he’s making it up. I’m not sure why. Maybe it’s a real song... who knows? Anyway, several times I heard him rhyming ”wack rap” with “knapsack”.
And while I’m not so white as to be unimpressed with freestyle rapping as an fascinating skill, I can’t help but wonder... “knapsack”?? Who the hell even says “knapsack” anymore??
What’s the next line? Something involving “flapjacks” perhaps?
maybe one more...
I know I said last Thursday was the last train commute, but I realized that cleaning out my office was a going to be a 2-day job. So today I’m heading in on the train to pack up, then on Wednesday I’ll drive in to LOAD up. Because I have other stuff to do today too... photocopying, taking books back to libraries, meeting with students, maybe giving a make-up final. Doing all that after DRIVING into NYC and then loading up all this shit into the car... that was just too much for me to mentally assimilate. So... one more train ride.
In the meantime, I’m carrying around six flattened cardboard boxes taped together, with a twine handle so I can sling them over my shoulder. Very classy! I look like a really poor art student or well-dressed homeless person or something.
In other news, I forgot to take my allergy medicine this morning. I may actually BUY another package... I don’t think I’ll be able to last the day without it.
Not much to say about the weekend. On Saturday I stayed downstairs and packed up 10 boxes worth of stuff from my studio and from the basement closet. Board games, audio tapes, CD’s, stereo equipment. My wife stayed upstairs and did the same thing in her office. It’s nice to get started on the packing, but... damn. We’ve packed 25 boxes or so and made NO visible dent at all. This is gonna take some serious fucking effort.
We’re booking the moving truck today. We locked in our mortgage rate. It’s all happening sooooo slooooowly, though. It’s gonna be a long summer. I realized today that I’m spending the entire first half of the summer putting things INTO boxes, and then the entire second half of the summer taking things OUT of boxes. Maybe by Xmas things will be fairly normal.
Oh, one other thing... we bought a refrigerator on Sunday. It’s weird to spend that much money and have absolutely NOTHING to show for it. It’s being delivered to our new house the day after we move in. We decided to buy it now because Sears is having a pretty good appliance sale, plus no interest for a year. It’s quite a monstrosity. It’s a black Kenmore Elite... 25 cubic foot, split-side-by-side refrigerator on top, pull-out-drawer freezer on bottom. Pretty spiffy. My wife won this one, though. I wanted a side-by-side refrigerator/freezer with ice and water in the door. I’ve always wanted ice and water in the door, dammit. But nooooo.... my wife is all worked up over these pull-out-drawer freezers. Whatever. I can’t imagine it won’t just involve taking everything out of the fucking freezer to get to what’s on the bottom of the drawer at least once a day. Anyway... it was clear she wasn’t backing down on this one, so I gave up. I will have my revenge when it’s time to choose a TV.
I know I said last Thursday was the last train commute, but I realized that cleaning out my office was a going to be a 2-day job. So today I’m heading in on the train to pack up, then on Wednesday I’ll drive in to LOAD up. Because I have other stuff to do today too... photocopying, taking books back to libraries, meeting with students, maybe giving a make-up final. Doing all that after DRIVING into NYC and then loading up all this shit into the car... that was just too much for me to mentally assimilate. So... one more train ride.
In the meantime, I’m carrying around six flattened cardboard boxes taped together, with a twine handle so I can sling them over my shoulder. Very classy! I look like a really poor art student or well-dressed homeless person or something.
In other news, I forgot to take my allergy medicine this morning. I may actually BUY another package... I don’t think I’ll be able to last the day without it.
Not much to say about the weekend. On Saturday I stayed downstairs and packed up 10 boxes worth of stuff from my studio and from the basement closet. Board games, audio tapes, CD’s, stereo equipment. My wife stayed upstairs and did the same thing in her office. It’s nice to get started on the packing, but... damn. We’ve packed 25 boxes or so and made NO visible dent at all. This is gonna take some serious fucking effort.
We’re booking the moving truck today. We locked in our mortgage rate. It’s all happening sooooo slooooowly, though. It’s gonna be a long summer. I realized today that I’m spending the entire first half of the summer putting things INTO boxes, and then the entire second half of the summer taking things OUT of boxes. Maybe by Xmas things will be fairly normal.
Oh, one other thing... we bought a refrigerator on Sunday. It’s weird to spend that much money and have absolutely NOTHING to show for it. It’s being delivered to our new house the day after we move in. We decided to buy it now because Sears is having a pretty good appliance sale, plus no interest for a year. It’s quite a monstrosity. It’s a black Kenmore Elite... 25 cubic foot, split-side-by-side refrigerator on top, pull-out-drawer freezer on bottom. Pretty spiffy. My wife won this one, though. I wanted a side-by-side refrigerator/freezer with ice and water in the door. I’ve always wanted ice and water in the door, dammit. But nooooo.... my wife is all worked up over these pull-out-drawer freezers. Whatever. I can’t imagine it won’t just involve taking everything out of the fucking freezer to get to what’s on the bottom of the drawer at least once a day. Anyway... it was clear she wasn’t backing down on this one, so I gave up. I will have my revenge when it’s time to choose a TV.
Sunday, May 16
is it just MY neighborhood...
... or are punkass teenagers EVERYWHERE riding around on these fucking motorized scooters and silly-looking mini-circus-clown-motorcycle thingies... tearing up and down residential streets sounding like fucking turbocharged weedwhackers??!?!?
I'm gonna start "accidentally" backing my car out in front of these fucking things, I swear.
... or are punkass teenagers EVERYWHERE riding around on these fucking motorized scooters and silly-looking mini-circus-clown-motorcycle thingies... tearing up and down residential streets sounding like fucking turbocharged weedwhackers??!?!?
I'm gonna start "accidentally" backing my car out in front of these fucking things, I swear.
i guess i'm just the IMmovable type...
In reading various weblogs lately, there seems to be some sort of hubbub about "Movable Type" and the most recent version not being free anymore or something. I have to say... maybe it's a side effect of being a Mac guy, but I really have NO IDEA what Movable Type even IS.
As best I can tell, it's some sort of webpage maintenance tool for people who are too damned lazy to write their own HTML and who want their weblogs to look like everybody else's in the whole world.
Whatever.
Quit whining and learn to code. Loser PC lemmings.
In reading various weblogs lately, there seems to be some sort of hubbub about "Movable Type" and the most recent version not being free anymore or something. I have to say... maybe it's a side effect of being a Mac guy, but I really have NO IDEA what Movable Type even IS.
As best I can tell, it's some sort of webpage maintenance tool for people who are too damned lazy to write their own HTML and who want their weblogs to look like everybody else's in the whole world.
Whatever.
Quit whining and learn to code. Loser PC lemmings.
Saturday, May 15
humanzee...
I caught a bit of this show on the Discovery Channel today that creeped me right the fuck out. It was about “Oliver: The Humanzee” – this weirdass fucking chimp with a small head and a hairless face who walked as bolt-upright as you or me. There were some who speculated that Oliver was a human/chimp hybrid. Apparently the genetic similarity between chimps and humans is on par with that of horses and donkeys. Which means that even though the number of chromosomes aren’t even the same, it’s not out of the question biologically that you might be able to breed a sterile hybrid. (Like a mule, or a “liger.”). There was even some nut who claimed that they DID produce one in the 1920’s at Yerkes Primate Lab, but they euthanized it after a couple of days. I KNEW those nuts were doing more than teaching sign language to gorillas!!
Anyway, by the end of the show they determined that Oliver was NOT, in fact a humanzee. He’s probably just a weirdass mutant chimp with really good posture.
He still freaked me out.
I caught a bit of this show on the Discovery Channel today that creeped me right the fuck out. It was about “Oliver: The Humanzee” – this weirdass fucking chimp with a small head and a hairless face who walked as bolt-upright as you or me. There were some who speculated that Oliver was a human/chimp hybrid. Apparently the genetic similarity between chimps and humans is on par with that of horses and donkeys. Which means that even though the number of chromosomes aren’t even the same, it’s not out of the question biologically that you might be able to breed a sterile hybrid. (Like a mule, or a “liger.”). There was even some nut who claimed that they DID produce one in the 1920’s at Yerkes Primate Lab, but they euthanized it after a couple of days. I KNEW those nuts were doing more than teaching sign language to gorillas!!
Anyway, by the end of the show they determined that Oliver was NOT, in fact a humanzee. He’s probably just a weirdass mutant chimp with really good posture.
He still freaked me out.
new house troubles already...
We got some pix of the new house in progress today. (My future boss is spying on the builders and emailing us pictures every so often.) It looks fantastic... mostly.
My wife decided to do the walls of her home office in dark, dark purple. Everyone was really skeptical... the builders and the designers and all. Not me. I thought it would look nice. Well... the painters are done, and the good news is that the office looks really amazingly good in purple.
The not-so-good news is that the living room ALSO looks amazingly good in dark purple!!
Umm... oops! I think a phone call is in order.
I wonder how many coats of white paint it takes to cover dark, dark, purple??
D.
We got some pix of the new house in progress today. (My future boss is spying on the builders and emailing us pictures every so often.) It looks fantastic... mostly.
My wife decided to do the walls of her home office in dark, dark purple. Everyone was really skeptical... the builders and the designers and all. Not me. I thought it would look nice. Well... the painters are done, and the good news is that the office looks really amazingly good in purple.
The not-so-good news is that the living room ALSO looks amazingly good in dark purple!!
Umm... oops! I think a phone call is in order.
I wonder how many coats of white paint it takes to cover dark, dark, purple??
D.
Friday, May 14
god damn, that soon...?
The semester has been over for ONE DAY, and I already feel like... “Shit, what do I have to WRITE about? “ Nothing!
I got to “sleep in” a bit this morning. The wife took the kids to preschool and shopping. But I was so fucking allergied-up I couldn’t really enjoy myself horizontally, so I got up and watched Letterman on the TiVo. Now the baby is home and milling about while the wife is at the quakbackcracker... err , I mean... “chiropractor”... and I’m listening to Fresh Air on NPR in the kitchen.
It’s been 24 hours and I’m bored already. What am I gonna do all summer?
Oh... right... pack all of my Earthly belongings into cardboard boxes. What fun. Can’t wait to get started. Suddenly the big pile of grading doesn’t look so bad.
When the wife gets home, we’re supposed to go out to lunch at this restaurant called “Fauna”. Sounds like they serve things they killed themselves out back in the wood’s, don’t it? I’ll have the pan-seared raccoon, please. Anyway, we’re celebrating the fact that my wife just turned in her last major project before we move, and that I’m done teaching, and that ONE kid, at least, is in preschool. So it won’t be a peaceful lunch, so much as an Up-To-Fifty-Percent LESS Whiny lunch.
Ok... enough for this morning. Adieu...
The semester has been over for ONE DAY, and I already feel like... “Shit, what do I have to WRITE about? “ Nothing!
I got to “sleep in” a bit this morning. The wife took the kids to preschool and shopping. But I was so fucking allergied-up I couldn’t really enjoy myself horizontally, so I got up and watched Letterman on the TiVo. Now the baby is home and milling about while the wife is at the quakbackcracker... err , I mean... “chiropractor”... and I’m listening to Fresh Air on NPR in the kitchen.
It’s been 24 hours and I’m bored already. What am I gonna do all summer?
Oh... right... pack all of my Earthly belongings into cardboard boxes. What fun. Can’t wait to get started. Suddenly the big pile of grading doesn’t look so bad.
When the wife gets home, we’re supposed to go out to lunch at this restaurant called “Fauna”. Sounds like they serve things they killed themselves out back in the wood’s, don’t it? I’ll have the pan-seared raccoon, please. Anyway, we’re celebrating the fact that my wife just turned in her last major project before we move, and that I’m done teaching, and that ONE kid, at least, is in preschool. So it won’t be a peaceful lunch, so much as an Up-To-Fifty-Percent LESS Whiny lunch.
Ok... enough for this morning. Adieu...
dave loves sports...
I’ve been doing lots of grading and stuff at home in the middle of the day with the TV on, and watching a good bit of unnecessary ESPN, and I’ve come to a decision. Do you wanna know what the sexiest sporting event in the world is? No contest – women’s billiards. And no, it’s not all the Freudian “balls and sticks” imagery, nor is it all the bending over. (Although the bending over can be nice) It’s just... when I see one of these women run a rack of 9-ball? Fuck! It makes me want to throw them down and do them right there on the table.
I’ve been doing lots of grading and stuff at home in the middle of the day with the TV on, and watching a good bit of unnecessary ESPN, and I’ve come to a decision. Do you wanna know what the sexiest sporting event in the world is? No contest – women’s billiards. And no, it’s not all the Freudian “balls and sticks” imagery, nor is it all the bending over. (Although the bending over can be nice) It’s just... when I see one of these women run a rack of 9-ball? Fuck! It makes me want to throw them down and do them right there on the table.
Thursday, May 13
aaron macruder always says it better than me...
A few days ago, in "Boondocks". Thank god this comic exists.
A few days ago, in "Boondocks". Thank god this comic exists.
the end... the beginning...
Aaah... sweet, if temporary, relief. I finished grading term papers on the train yesterday. I gave my Physics students their final, during which I wrote my Calculus final. Then I gave my Calculus students THEIR final, during which I finished writing my Astronomy final. Today I will give my final Final, during which I will give thanks to the Gods and write in my weblog.
So that’s it. Today could very well be my very last commute into NYC on the train. “Goodbye, Tall-Blonde-Woman! Goodbye, Handlebar-Moustache-Guy! Goodbye, Old-Lady-Who-Sleeps-With-Her-Mouth-Wide-Open!! I’ll miss you all!”
Next week I need to go in to empty out the office, but I’ll have to drive. A couple of co-workers want to take me out to lunch to say “goodbye” too. Does it make me a horrible person that I’d really rather not? I mean...it seems like a “gesture”... and I really don’t have any patience for “gestures”. Even though I’ve worked here for 2 years... I don’t really feel like I know these people. College teaching is a pretty solitary occupation. I come in, teach my classes, go home. Sometimes we have meetings. That doesn’t seem like much of a relationship to me, y’know? ”Gee, we’ll miss you Dave... you were always so good at the meetings.” Whatever.
Anyway, even though I have all this GRADING to face next week, I feel pretty liberated. A month and a half of putting-things-into-boxes and I’ll be off to my New and Improved Life. Well... that’s how we think of it anyway. Everything in our live will be BETTER. We’ll have a new house full of nice things which we will keep spotlessly clean. All of our neighbors will be sophisticated, affluent professionals and we will invite them and their well-behaved children to weekly cookouts, which we can have all the way into November, because it never gets cold. I will love my job and my co-workers and one of them will play tennis with me on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays and my scale will reveal parts of the dial I have not seen since I was in my 20’s. We will have friends, friends, friends... Oh! So many friends! People from work! Parents from school! Neighbors! We will have friends again who are smart and liberal and who like to play Trivial Pursuit and who don’t live an hour away on a stupid, stupid long island with only 2 roads. We will go on family outings to the Library every Saturday and ride our bikes around the neighborhood in single file and wave at all of the other happy families in all of the other almost-but-not-quite-identical single story brick houses.
Stop laughing at my fantasy! I’m not even kidding. We really do talk about this stuff. We’ve got it all figured out. July, August, September... you wait and see. No more complaining. Get your fill of the Crabby Dave while you can! Because in a few months, I’ll have to redesign my weblog with butterflies and rainbows and those little sparklies that follow your fucking cursor around. Life will be just that happy.
You wait and see.
Aaah... sweet, if temporary, relief. I finished grading term papers on the train yesterday. I gave my Physics students their final, during which I wrote my Calculus final. Then I gave my Calculus students THEIR final, during which I finished writing my Astronomy final. Today I will give my final Final, during which I will give thanks to the Gods and write in my weblog.
So that’s it. Today could very well be my very last commute into NYC on the train. “Goodbye, Tall-Blonde-Woman! Goodbye, Handlebar-Moustache-Guy! Goodbye, Old-Lady-Who-Sleeps-With-Her-Mouth-Wide-Open!! I’ll miss you all!”
Next week I need to go in to empty out the office, but I’ll have to drive. A couple of co-workers want to take me out to lunch to say “goodbye” too. Does it make me a horrible person that I’d really rather not? I mean...it seems like a “gesture”... and I really don’t have any patience for “gestures”. Even though I’ve worked here for 2 years... I don’t really feel like I know these people. College teaching is a pretty solitary occupation. I come in, teach my classes, go home. Sometimes we have meetings. That doesn’t seem like much of a relationship to me, y’know? ”Gee, we’ll miss you Dave... you were always so good at the meetings.” Whatever.
Anyway, even though I have all this GRADING to face next week, I feel pretty liberated. A month and a half of putting-things-into-boxes and I’ll be off to my New and Improved Life. Well... that’s how we think of it anyway. Everything in our live will be BETTER. We’ll have a new house full of nice things which we will keep spotlessly clean. All of our neighbors will be sophisticated, affluent professionals and we will invite them and their well-behaved children to weekly cookouts, which we can have all the way into November, because it never gets cold. I will love my job and my co-workers and one of them will play tennis with me on Tuesdays, Thursdays, and Sundays and my scale will reveal parts of the dial I have not seen since I was in my 20’s. We will have friends, friends, friends... Oh! So many friends! People from work! Parents from school! Neighbors! We will have friends again who are smart and liberal and who like to play Trivial Pursuit and who don’t live an hour away on a stupid, stupid long island with only 2 roads. We will go on family outings to the Library every Saturday and ride our bikes around the neighborhood in single file and wave at all of the other happy families in all of the other almost-but-not-quite-identical single story brick houses.
Stop laughing at my fantasy! I’m not even kidding. We really do talk about this stuff. We’ve got it all figured out. July, August, September... you wait and see. No more complaining. Get your fill of the Crabby Dave while you can! Because in a few months, I’ll have to redesign my weblog with butterflies and rainbows and those little sparklies that follow your fucking cursor around. Life will be just that happy.
You wait and see.
Wednesday, May 12
sexual identity crisis... a true story...
So today I’m walking down the street and a see this guy coming towards me with long, blonde rock-star hair... I mean this guy is really hot.
And then as I get closer I realize it’s not a hot, long-haired rocker guy... it’s actual a very flat-chested dyke in a flannel shirt. She was still hot, though.
Now I’m really confused. Does this make me gay or a lesbian now??
So today I’m walking down the street and a see this guy coming towards me with long, blonde rock-star hair... I mean this guy is really hot.
And then as I get closer I realize it’s not a hot, long-haired rocker guy... it’s actual a very flat-chested dyke in a flannel shirt. She was still hot, though.
Now I’m really confused. Does this make me gay or a lesbian now??
the 100 most mediocrest songs ever...
I love those “list” shows and magazines. Top 100 Movies, 50 Best Albums... all that crap. They always make me mad, but I like playing “predict the top 5.” I’m usually pretty good. For example – Comedy Central recently ran a “100 Greatest Stand up Comedians” thing, and my wife said – “Ok, who’s number one? Robin Williams? Bill Cosby?” I said, “No brainer – Richard Pryor.” She said – “Ugh, I don’t think he’s funny.” I said – “Neither do I, but if comedians did the voting, #1 will be Richard Pryor.”
It was.
So imagine my excitement when the TiVo picked up VH-1’s “Best 100 Songs of the Past 50 Years.” Now that’s a tough one, because it eliminates all the classic rock’n’roll that usually monopolizes those lists. Number one can’t be the Beatles or Elvis. So... what will it be? My money was on Michael Jackson... probably something from Thriller... probably “Beat It.” Well... “Billie Jean” was #2, but the entire rest of the Top 20 was utterly and completely befuddling. Example...
The 11th best song of the past 25 years?
Van Halen – “Jump”.
Huh? “Jump” isn’t even the best VAN HALEN song of the past 25 years. What the fuck is wrong with these people? Other songs in the Top 20 included Def Leppard’s “Photograph” and Sinéad O’Connor’s “Nothing Compares 2 U”
Number One? “Smells Like Teen Spirit”
Jesus. I mean... I know the past 25 years haven’t exactly been the heyday of rock and roll, but they didn’t suck so badly that we have to admit that only a dozen songs have been better than “Photograph” by Def Leppard, and that the best song of the past two decades consisted of 4-chords and a heroin addict screaming nonsense lyrics.
I love those “list” shows and magazines. Top 100 Movies, 50 Best Albums... all that crap. They always make me mad, but I like playing “predict the top 5.” I’m usually pretty good. For example – Comedy Central recently ran a “100 Greatest Stand up Comedians” thing, and my wife said – “Ok, who’s number one? Robin Williams? Bill Cosby?” I said, “No brainer – Richard Pryor.” She said – “Ugh, I don’t think he’s funny.” I said – “Neither do I, but if comedians did the voting, #1 will be Richard Pryor.”
It was.
So imagine my excitement when the TiVo picked up VH-1’s “Best 100 Songs of the Past 50 Years.” Now that’s a tough one, because it eliminates all the classic rock’n’roll that usually monopolizes those lists. Number one can’t be the Beatles or Elvis. So... what will it be? My money was on Michael Jackson... probably something from Thriller... probably “Beat It.” Well... “Billie Jean” was #2, but the entire rest of the Top 20 was utterly and completely befuddling. Example...
The 11th best song of the past 25 years?
Van Halen – “Jump”.
Huh? “Jump” isn’t even the best VAN HALEN song of the past 25 years. What the fuck is wrong with these people? Other songs in the Top 20 included Def Leppard’s “Photograph” and Sinéad O’Connor’s “Nothing Compares 2 U”
Number One? “Smells Like Teen Spirit”
Jesus. I mean... I know the past 25 years haven’t exactly been the heyday of rock and roll, but they didn’t suck so badly that we have to admit that only a dozen songs have been better than “Photograph” by Def Leppard, and that the best song of the past two decades consisted of 4-chords and a heroin addict screaming nonsense lyrics.
just give everyone a B - and be done with it...
Ok. I’ve really procrastinated myself into a corner here. I have a dozen term papers still to grade, and I promised them to my students by today at 9:00. Eek! Well... I suppose I could grade the last couple WHILE they are taking their final exam. Still. It needs to get done. So no blogging this morning.
Urm.. .except for just that little bit there.
Ok. I’ve really procrastinated myself into a corner here. I have a dozen term papers still to grade, and I promised them to my students by today at 9:00. Eek! Well... I suppose I could grade the last couple WHILE they are taking their final exam. Still. It needs to get done. So no blogging this morning.
Urm.. .except for just that little bit there.
Tuesday, May 11
sights, sounds...
A few weeks ago a reader expressed interest in my vintage guitar collection, so I'm finally posting some pictures of the four most interesting ones. ("Interesting" being a relative term, of course.)
A few weeks ago a reader expressed interest in my vintage guitar collection, so I'm finally posting some pictures of the four most interesting ones. ("Interesting" being a relative term, of course.)
damn...
What is it with the computer industry and the pursuit of "better"? Why do we need to take something that works PERFECTLY WELL, and then proceed to add features to it that increase its functionality only marginally, but which then proceed to BREAK EVERYTHING THAT USED TO WORK RIGHT?!?!
I got a dozen errors on Blogger when I was trying to post yesterday. And while the interface improvements are cute enough, it's certainly not worth the hit in speed or the outright BROKEN posting process.
I also saw that Blogger added in-house comments, so I tried them out. They SUCK. They are clunky and ugly and poorly implemented all around. I immediately deleted them and went back to Haloscan.
Progress. Sigh...
And the other thing... am I the only person who writes in my weblog every day? All my favorites only update once every three or four days, and that frequently leaves me with nothing to read when I'm trying to avoid work. It's very inconsiderate.
What is it with the computer industry and the pursuit of "better"? Why do we need to take something that works PERFECTLY WELL, and then proceed to add features to it that increase its functionality only marginally, but which then proceed to BREAK EVERYTHING THAT USED TO WORK RIGHT?!?!
I got a dozen errors on Blogger when I was trying to post yesterday. And while the interface improvements are cute enough, it's certainly not worth the hit in speed or the outright BROKEN posting process.
I also saw that Blogger added in-house comments, so I tried them out. They SUCK. They are clunky and ugly and poorly implemented all around. I immediately deleted them and went back to Haloscan.
Progress. Sigh...
And the other thing... am I the only person who writes in my weblog every day? All my favorites only update once every three or four days, and that frequently leaves me with nothing to read when I'm trying to avoid work. It's very inconsiderate.
Monday, May 10
that time of year...
Man, do I have a lot to do. This is the last week of the semester. I have term papers to grade by Wednesday. I have a senior project draft to look over by this afternoon. And I have three final exams to compose this week. (Then next week, I’ll have to grade said exams... 18+22+8 = too many!) I have only just barely enough time to get it all done – that is... if I don’t spend hours and hours writing in my weblog this morning.
Mmm-hmmm.
The weekend was fairly “full”... although I don’t feel like I did much. We went out on Saturday to the Mall, which is a rare thing for us. Now I know why – because it makes us all crabby. The 5 y.o. gets tired of walking and the 1 y.o. gets tired of strollering but if we put the 5 y.o. in the stroller then WE get tired of carrying and/or CHASING the 1.y.o. It’s just exhausting.
(By the way... I haven’t been to the Mall often or frequently enough to get a good look at how teenage girls are dressing in the suburbs lately. I only see the upscale, chic-slutty girls in the city. But those chicks out in the suburbs – they are downright skanky. Jesus. I remember the streetwalkers down in East Baltimore dressing with more modesty... and TASTE.)
After the mall we found ourselves at Pizzeria Uno with the kids. That promptly erased the pleasant memory of Friday’s dinner alone.
Mother’s Day was pretty exhausting. I had an awful night’s sleep, and somehow I wound up getting a THIRD day in a row of “up with both kids while the wife sleeps in.” Don’t even fucking ask me how THAT happened. Anyway, the morning involved wrapping presents and making cards and cooking French Toast and I was just NOT in the mood for any of it. I told my wife that next year, it’s gonna be Mother’s Day DINNER, unless I’m getting a whole hell of a lot more sleep by then. Anyway, the wife got a book and a bathtub reader thingy from Levenger for when we have our giant Whirlpool tub in the new house. Pretty good presents – even IF the bath thingy was originally intended for an anniversary present. (I bumped it up 2 weeks to Mother’s Day after striking out at Target on Friday.) Oh... there were some flowers involved in there as well.
We went out to a “Craft Fair” in the afternoon, which was just the most pitiful thing I’ve ever seen.... 8 tables and people just selling crap. And yet we spent all kinds of money. The wife bought lots of slightly beat-up (stolen!!) children’s books and puzzles, and my daughter and I bought some fossils from the gems and minerals place. God, she is going to be a nerd!!
Last night we watched Survivor, which was pretty free of surprises, despite all the hype. The final immunity challenge was one of the most anticlimactic ever, as was the vote. I wasn’t even surprised by the marriage proposal by Boston Rob. I actually expected them to be already engaged.
Anyway – in short – Rob deserved to win, but he didn’t cuz he was a jerk. We’ve seen that one before. So he marries Ambuh’ and gets the million anyway. Add the fact that Rupert is a shoe-in for the phone-in popularity contest, and you have a perfect happy ending.
A couple of little things. What was with Jerri’s little spaz-out? ”You don’t realize that your entertainment comes at our EXPENSE... boo-hoo” Puh-leeze. Not only did you volunteer for this... you did it TWICE. You’re the biggest fucking publicity whore up there. Get over it.
And what the FUCK is with Sue Hawk being on Extreme Makeover? Jesus Tapdancing Christ, that is about the most appalling thing I’ve ever heard. ”Hey guys, who is the Survivor contestant with the most obvious self-esteem issues and clear emotional problems... let’s go exploit them for our horrifying plastic surgery train-wreck freakshow.” God damn, those shows make me physically ill.
She did look pretty good, though.
Anyway, enough about all that. Friends is over. Survivor will be on hiatus for a while. ER will wrap next week. Now it’s time to cash in some of those Blockbuster coupons! Although last weekend’s trip to Blockbuster was a total bust. I don’t get it... did my wife and I just pretend to like the same movies when we were dating? Because now, going to Blockbuster with her is just like... I don’t know, I can’t think of a clever analogy... it’s like going to pick out movies with someone who doesn’t want to see any of the same movies you do. It sucks. I’d like to start renting some TV series we haven’t been able to catch... ”Six Feet Under” or ”The Office” or something. Granted, there are also some tawdry eye-candy movies that I need to rent on my own time (”Prey for Rock and Roll” with Gina Gershon and ”Underworld” with... ummm... lots of black vinyl) but I recommended some other movies too.... GOOD movies... (”The Cooler”) that were just met with silence. So it was one of those “Fine, I don’t care then, get whatever you want and I’ll surf the web on my laptop and pretend to watch” kind of nights.
And that brings us to today... Monday. Have I mentioned I have a lot of work to do? Yeah. Ok. Time to get on with that. Today is my last day of “classes”... it’s just exams from here on out. It’s a little sad, when you think about it. Then you remember you’re getting a 33% raise and moving to a place where the cost of living is 30% less. Then it’s not so sad.
Bring it on.
Man, do I have a lot to do. This is the last week of the semester. I have term papers to grade by Wednesday. I have a senior project draft to look over by this afternoon. And I have three final exams to compose this week. (Then next week, I’ll have to grade said exams... 18+22+8 = too many!) I have only just barely enough time to get it all done – that is... if I don’t spend hours and hours writing in my weblog this morning.
Mmm-hmmm.
The weekend was fairly “full”... although I don’t feel like I did much. We went out on Saturday to the Mall, which is a rare thing for us. Now I know why – because it makes us all crabby. The 5 y.o. gets tired of walking and the 1 y.o. gets tired of strollering but if we put the 5 y.o. in the stroller then WE get tired of carrying and/or CHASING the 1.y.o. It’s just exhausting.
(By the way... I haven’t been to the Mall often or frequently enough to get a good look at how teenage girls are dressing in the suburbs lately. I only see the upscale, chic-slutty girls in the city. But those chicks out in the suburbs – they are downright skanky. Jesus. I remember the streetwalkers down in East Baltimore dressing with more modesty... and TASTE.)
After the mall we found ourselves at Pizzeria Uno with the kids. That promptly erased the pleasant memory of Friday’s dinner alone.
Mother’s Day was pretty exhausting. I had an awful night’s sleep, and somehow I wound up getting a THIRD day in a row of “up with both kids while the wife sleeps in.” Don’t even fucking ask me how THAT happened. Anyway, the morning involved wrapping presents and making cards and cooking French Toast and I was just NOT in the mood for any of it. I told my wife that next year, it’s gonna be Mother’s Day DINNER, unless I’m getting a whole hell of a lot more sleep by then. Anyway, the wife got a book and a bathtub reader thingy from Levenger for when we have our giant Whirlpool tub in the new house. Pretty good presents – even IF the bath thingy was originally intended for an anniversary present. (I bumped it up 2 weeks to Mother’s Day after striking out at Target on Friday.) Oh... there were some flowers involved in there as well.
We went out to a “Craft Fair” in the afternoon, which was just the most pitiful thing I’ve ever seen.... 8 tables and people just selling crap. And yet we spent all kinds of money. The wife bought lots of slightly beat-up (stolen!!) children’s books and puzzles, and my daughter and I bought some fossils from the gems and minerals place. God, she is going to be a nerd!!
Last night we watched Survivor, which was pretty free of surprises, despite all the hype. The final immunity challenge was one of the most anticlimactic ever, as was the vote. I wasn’t even surprised by the marriage proposal by Boston Rob. I actually expected them to be already engaged.
Anyway – in short – Rob deserved to win, but he didn’t cuz he was a jerk. We’ve seen that one before. So he marries Ambuh’ and gets the million anyway. Add the fact that Rupert is a shoe-in for the phone-in popularity contest, and you have a perfect happy ending.
A couple of little things. What was with Jerri’s little spaz-out? ”You don’t realize that your entertainment comes at our EXPENSE... boo-hoo” Puh-leeze. Not only did you volunteer for this... you did it TWICE. You’re the biggest fucking publicity whore up there. Get over it.
And what the FUCK is with Sue Hawk being on Extreme Makeover? Jesus Tapdancing Christ, that is about the most appalling thing I’ve ever heard. ”Hey guys, who is the Survivor contestant with the most obvious self-esteem issues and clear emotional problems... let’s go exploit them for our horrifying plastic surgery train-wreck freakshow.” God damn, those shows make me physically ill.
She did look pretty good, though.
Anyway, enough about all that. Friends is over. Survivor will be on hiatus for a while. ER will wrap next week. Now it’s time to cash in some of those Blockbuster coupons! Although last weekend’s trip to Blockbuster was a total bust. I don’t get it... did my wife and I just pretend to like the same movies when we were dating? Because now, going to Blockbuster with her is just like... I don’t know, I can’t think of a clever analogy... it’s like going to pick out movies with someone who doesn’t want to see any of the same movies you do. It sucks. I’d like to start renting some TV series we haven’t been able to catch... ”Six Feet Under” or ”The Office” or something. Granted, there are also some tawdry eye-candy movies that I need to rent on my own time (”Prey for Rock and Roll” with Gina Gershon and ”Underworld” with... ummm... lots of black vinyl) but I recommended some other movies too.... GOOD movies... (”The Cooler”) that were just met with silence. So it was one of those “Fine, I don’t care then, get whatever you want and I’ll surf the web on my laptop and pretend to watch” kind of nights.
And that brings us to today... Monday. Have I mentioned I have a lot of work to do? Yeah. Ok. Time to get on with that. Today is my last day of “classes”... it’s just exams from here on out. It’s a little sad, when you think about it. Then you remember you’re getting a 33% raise and moving to a place where the cost of living is 30% less. Then it’s not so sad.
Bring it on.
white trash momma...
We came home from an afternoon of shopping on Sunday to the sound of whoops, hollers and profanity over the back fence. Apparently they were having some kind of cookout at the White Trash House.
We came home from an afternoon of shopping on Sunday to the sound of whoops, hollers and profanity over the back fence. Apparently they were having some kind of cookout at the White Trash House.
Wife: “Oh isn’t that nice, they’re having a little get-together to celebrate Mother’s Day”
Dave: “Well, you can’t blame them for being excited. It’s probably a much less confusing holiday for them than Father’s Day.”
Sunday, May 9
primatologists unite...
Another warning to parents. This time it’s about ABC books.
If you’re shopping for an ABC board book or a “My First Animals” book for your toddler, I have a little hint for you. Open it up and turn to the “M” page. There you will often find a picture of something professing to be a monkey. But frequently it is NOT a monkey. The picture in the board book is clearly, unambiguously a chimpanzee. And if you purchase your child this book, you run the risk of turning your child into yet another stupid adult who doesn’t know the freaking difference between a monkey and a chimpanzee!!
(Like, for example, everyone who works at the damned publisher who allowed this book to escape containing such a glaring error.)
It simple, people. Chimps are APES, not monkeys. The great apes – gorillas, orangutans, chimps, and some would say, humans – do not have tails. They are also a good bit bigger than monkeys.
It drives me nuts.
If I were a primatologist, I’d be writing some fucking letters.
As it is, I just come here and bug you people with such nonsense.
Another warning to parents. This time it’s about ABC books.
If you’re shopping for an ABC board book or a “My First Animals” book for your toddler, I have a little hint for you. Open it up and turn to the “M” page. There you will often find a picture of something professing to be a monkey. But frequently it is NOT a monkey. The picture in the board book is clearly, unambiguously a chimpanzee. And if you purchase your child this book, you run the risk of turning your child into yet another stupid adult who doesn’t know the freaking difference between a monkey and a chimpanzee!!
(Like, for example, everyone who works at the damned publisher who allowed this book to escape containing such a glaring error.)
It simple, people. Chimps are APES, not monkeys. The great apes – gorillas, orangutans, chimps, and some would say, humans – do not have tails. They are also a good bit bigger than monkeys.
It drives me nuts.
If I were a primatologist, I’d be writing some fucking letters.
As it is, I just come here and bug you people with such nonsense.
Saturday, May 8
date night...
Last night for the first time ever, we left BOTH kids with a sitter who was NOT one of their grandmothers. We went out for dinner at a nice restaurant - defined as one at which coloring books are not available. We ate our food and we didn't have to feed any other little people scraps from our plates or butter anyone else's bread or endure any one else's screaming and crying.
It was only 2 hours but it was VERY nice.
I think once we move, that is going to have to become a regular thing.
Last night for the first time ever, we left BOTH kids with a sitter who was NOT one of their grandmothers. We went out for dinner at a nice restaurant - defined as one at which coloring books are not available. We ate our food and we didn't have to feed any other little people scraps from our plates or butter anyone else's bread or endure any one else's screaming and crying.
It was only 2 hours but it was VERY nice.
I think once we move, that is going to have to become a regular thing.
Friday, May 7
war and morality...
So, the “News Story of the Week” is the abuse of Iraqi prisoners by the US military. Apparently we’re been torturing and humiliating prisoners over there, and the media and the public seem to be shocked and horrified by it.
You know what else is shocking and horrifying? I’ve heard that the military is also shooting Iraqis dead and dropping bombs on them and stuff. Can you believe that??
Look, I don’t want to make light of what were clearly stupid and despicable acts, but when you really stop and think about it... really... how is making a naked Iraqi stand on a box any more “immoral” than shooting them and bombing them and killing them? How are we “surprised” by this? Because the very ACT of war necessitates dehumanization. Killing another human would be immoral! Everybody knows that. You can’t shoot a person with whom you have empathy... someone you recognize as another Thinking and Feeling Being. So you dehumanize them and think of them only as The Enemy. But then somehow if you capture one on them, all of a sudden you’re supposed to invite them in for tea and biscuits? It doesn’t work that way.
The problem as I see it is this - We in the “civilized” world... the media and the population at large... we have as individual moral beings simply outgrown the idea of war. We recognize that Vietnamese and Russians and Iraqis and Palestinians are human beings and that it is wrong to kill or torture other human beings. But our social and political mechanisms have NOT outgrown the NEED for war as a TOOL. This poses a dilemma. Because at the same time, our modern media does not allow us the DISCONNECT that is required to conduct a satisfactory war. We’re not supposed to see people being blown to bits, or dead children in the streets, or Americans being dragged naked and burned through the streets, or our own soldiers humiliating enemy prisoners. Because when we see these things, we simply can’t maintain the “Spirit of Dehumanization” that war requires from the comfort of our living rooms.
So we wind up with a massive nationwide cognitive dissonance. Everybody supports the IDEA of the war... until somebody gets killed or captured or tortured or raped or... whatever. What the fuck do we do? I don’t know.
And here is another thing. Is it shocking when American soldiers torture prisoners of war? Of course. But it is no more shocking than when our police officers beat suspects with sticks, or shoot unarmed black men 40-odd times, or sodomize them with broom handles. These are our OWN citizens in our OWN prisons. And everybody knows it goes on. (Don’t you?)
“Civilization” is the thinnest of veneers. Humans are animals. And not just the ones inside the cages... all of us. We can pretend otherwise, and we may have come a long way in our intellectual standards of morality, but it only takes the tiniest shove to turn any one of us back a million years. That’s not to say we shouldn’t resist. We should. But we should cut out the indignation and try to solve the real problems.
So, the “News Story of the Week” is the abuse of Iraqi prisoners by the US military. Apparently we’re been torturing and humiliating prisoners over there, and the media and the public seem to be shocked and horrified by it.
You know what else is shocking and horrifying? I’ve heard that the military is also shooting Iraqis dead and dropping bombs on them and stuff. Can you believe that??
Look, I don’t want to make light of what were clearly stupid and despicable acts, but when you really stop and think about it... really... how is making a naked Iraqi stand on a box any more “immoral” than shooting them and bombing them and killing them? How are we “surprised” by this? Because the very ACT of war necessitates dehumanization. Killing another human would be immoral! Everybody knows that. You can’t shoot a person with whom you have empathy... someone you recognize as another Thinking and Feeling Being. So you dehumanize them and think of them only as The Enemy. But then somehow if you capture one on them, all of a sudden you’re supposed to invite them in for tea and biscuits? It doesn’t work that way.
The problem as I see it is this - We in the “civilized” world... the media and the population at large... we have as individual moral beings simply outgrown the idea of war. We recognize that Vietnamese and Russians and Iraqis and Palestinians are human beings and that it is wrong to kill or torture other human beings. But our social and political mechanisms have NOT outgrown the NEED for war as a TOOL. This poses a dilemma. Because at the same time, our modern media does not allow us the DISCONNECT that is required to conduct a satisfactory war. We’re not supposed to see people being blown to bits, or dead children in the streets, or Americans being dragged naked and burned through the streets, or our own soldiers humiliating enemy prisoners. Because when we see these things, we simply can’t maintain the “Spirit of Dehumanization” that war requires from the comfort of our living rooms.
So we wind up with a massive nationwide cognitive dissonance. Everybody supports the IDEA of the war... until somebody gets killed or captured or tortured or raped or... whatever. What the fuck do we do? I don’t know.
And here is another thing. Is it shocking when American soldiers torture prisoners of war? Of course. But it is no more shocking than when our police officers beat suspects with sticks, or shoot unarmed black men 40-odd times, or sodomize them with broom handles. These are our OWN citizens in our OWN prisons. And everybody knows it goes on. (Don’t you?)
“Civilization” is the thinnest of veneers. Humans are animals. And not just the ones inside the cages... all of us. We can pretend otherwise, and we may have come a long way in our intellectual standards of morality, but it only takes the tiniest shove to turn any one of us back a million years. That’s not to say we shouldn’t resist. We should. But we should cut out the indignation and try to solve the real problems.
prolific...
It’s obvious I’ve been writing more here lately.... 2 or 3 posts a day. That can’t go on forever. Once the semester ends and I’m home all day... I don’t have nearly the amount of writing time. No train... no office hours. I think I’m going to start pocketing entries that aren’t time-sensitive. In other words, anything that isn’t about what I did TODAY or something about current events, I’m just gonna save in my MS Word document (where I write all this crap before pasting it into Blogger or OD) so I can pull out things and paste them on days when I’m too busy in the summer.
I didn’t really need to tell you all that. I just feel it’s best to be honest. I’ll try not to let anything sit too long beyond it’s “freshness date.” Nothing worse than stale weblog content.
It’s obvious I’ve been writing more here lately.... 2 or 3 posts a day. That can’t go on forever. Once the semester ends and I’m home all day... I don’t have nearly the amount of writing time. No train... no office hours. I think I’m going to start pocketing entries that aren’t time-sensitive. In other words, anything that isn’t about what I did TODAY or something about current events, I’m just gonna save in my MS Word document (where I write all this crap before pasting it into Blogger or OD) so I can pull out things and paste them on days when I’m too busy in the summer.
I didn’t really need to tell you all that. I just feel it’s best to be honest. I’ll try not to let anything sit too long beyond it’s “freshness date.” Nothing worse than stale weblog content.
Thursday, May 6
misguided children’s toy...
What could be a more pure and wholesome toy than a wooden puzzle? Very old fashioned... very rustic... simple play value... educational.
And what could be a better target for some MegaCorp ToyNazis to go and put a computer-chip in to fuck the whole thing up??
“A computer chip? In a puzzle?” ( you ask...) “How so?”
Allow me to explain...
I don’t even know where exactly it came from, but for his birthday, the one-year-old got this puzzle... a wooden animal puzzle with 4 pieces - a lion, a tiger, a monkey and an elephant. And in the spot where each animal goes there is a little photocell, which detects the drop in light when you put the pieces in place and responds with the appropriate animal noise. “GROOWL!” for the lion or “EE-EE, OO-OO” for the monkey or “........” well... I don’t know how to spell the noise that an elephant makes, but you get the idea.
“Why that sounds cute and harmless Dave... what’s the problem?” (you ask...)
Well there is no problem until one of the pieces goes missing and the puzzle is left sitting in the living room and it’s 11:30 at night and you turn off the lights to go to bed and...
”GGRROOOOWWWLLL!!”
Now, listen. I know there isn’t a tiger in my living room, ok? I know that. But you are in a dark room and you hear a loud and unexpected growl and you fucking jump out of your skin. You just DO... it’s evolution! And it doesn’t matter how many times it happens, either. Five nights... ten nights... still you hear that “GROWL!” and your amygdala or whatever part of your brain has the job of going “LION!” goes... “LION!”
And it’s not just at night either. Two in the afternoon... sunlight comes through the window wind blows through the leaves outside making dancing shadows on the floor...
”GRROWWLL!! GRROWWLL!! Oo-Ooh, Eep-Eep!! GRROWWLL!
It’s a constant annoyance.
So... keep an eye out for this, those of you with kids. If you see a growling puzzle in the toystore... resist the temptation. It will drive you nuts. You have been warned. Your amygdala will thank me.
What could be a more pure and wholesome toy than a wooden puzzle? Very old fashioned... very rustic... simple play value... educational.
And what could be a better target for some MegaCorp ToyNazis to go and put a computer-chip in to fuck the whole thing up??
“A computer chip? In a puzzle?” ( you ask...) “How so?”
Allow me to explain...
I don’t even know where exactly it came from, but for his birthday, the one-year-old got this puzzle... a wooden animal puzzle with 4 pieces - a lion, a tiger, a monkey and an elephant. And in the spot where each animal goes there is a little photocell, which detects the drop in light when you put the pieces in place and responds with the appropriate animal noise. “GROOWL!” for the lion or “EE-EE, OO-OO” for the monkey or “........” well... I don’t know how to spell the noise that an elephant makes, but you get the idea.
“Why that sounds cute and harmless Dave... what’s the problem?” (you ask...)
Well there is no problem until one of the pieces goes missing and the puzzle is left sitting in the living room and it’s 11:30 at night and you turn off the lights to go to bed and...
”GGRROOOOWWWLLL!!”
Now, listen. I know there isn’t a tiger in my living room, ok? I know that. But you are in a dark room and you hear a loud and unexpected growl and you fucking jump out of your skin. You just DO... it’s evolution! And it doesn’t matter how many times it happens, either. Five nights... ten nights... still you hear that “GROWL!” and your amygdala or whatever part of your brain has the job of going “LION!” goes... “LION!”
And it’s not just at night either. Two in the afternoon... sunlight comes through the window wind blows through the leaves outside making dancing shadows on the floor...
”GRROWWLL!! GRROWWLL!! Oo-Ooh, Eep-Eep!! GRROWWLL!
It’s a constant annoyance.
So... keep an eye out for this, those of you with kids. If you see a growling puzzle in the toystore... resist the temptation. It will drive you nuts. You have been warned. Your amygdala will thank me.
ancient chinese secret...
I think I mentioned that I stopped for Chinese yesterday on the way back from the library. It’s my favorite little place to grab lunch... $4.95 for an entrée with rice and soup... less than $10 even with a drink and a tip. It’ll probably be my last chance to eat there. Anyway... this was the fortune in my fortune cookie...
Hey, fortune cookie. Let’s leave my sex life out of it – shall we??
I think I mentioned that I stopped for Chinese yesterday on the way back from the library. It’s my favorite little place to grab lunch... $4.95 for an entrée with rice and soup... less than $10 even with a drink and a tip. It’ll probably be my last chance to eat there. Anyway... this was the fortune in my fortune cookie...
”Our first and last love is... self love.”
Hey, fortune cookie. Let’s leave my sex life out of it – shall we??
Wednesday, May 5
wednesday at a glance...
9:00 – 10:50: Lecture on String Theory. Blow students’ minds
11:00 – 12:00: Grade calculus quizzes. That wasn’t so bad, was it?
12:00 – 12:30: Carry a bag full of 150 pounds of books back to the NYU library
12:30 – 1:30: Stop on the way back from library for Chinese food. All hail General Tso!
2:10 – 3:50: Waste last Calculus lecture on in-class activity. Students work in slow motion.
4:05: Miss the 4:04 train. Buy some Reese’s Pieces. Wait for 4:21 train.
4:21 – 6:30ish: Ride the train home. Type nonsense in weblog.
6:30-11:00: Eat dinner. Bathe kids. Put kids to bed. Work on PowerPoint until eyes get googly.
11:30ish: Bed.
9:00 – 10:50: Lecture on String Theory. Blow students’ minds
11:00 – 12:00: Grade calculus quizzes. That wasn’t so bad, was it?
12:00 – 12:30: Carry a bag full of 150 pounds of books back to the NYU library
12:30 – 1:30: Stop on the way back from library for Chinese food. All hail General Tso!
2:10 – 3:50: Waste last Calculus lecture on in-class activity. Students work in slow motion.
4:05: Miss the 4:04 train. Buy some Reese’s Pieces. Wait for 4:21 train.
4:21 – 6:30ish: Ride the train home. Type nonsense in weblog.
6:30-11:00: Eat dinner. Bathe kids. Put kids to bed. Work on PowerPoint until eyes get googly.
11:30ish: Bed.
thou shalt not be a dumbass...
One of my readers (dop) posted an article in her weblog the other day about a dinosaur-themed Creationist theme park. I think she expected me to be shocked. I gave up on that long ago. Mostly it just makes me sad now.
There are two kinds of “Creationists” really... I think of them as active and passive Creationists. The passive ones actually worry me the most. The active ones are easy to dismiss as just plain nuts. They are the ones who go around suggesting that the Earth is really only 6000 years old and that there were dinosaurs on Noah’s Ark and that Leviathan was a dinosaur and that the Flood killed all the dinosaurs and that pretty much everything we think we know about biology, geology, astronomy, and nuclear physics is WRONG. They try to back up their claims with “scientific” evidence and then ask that their demented, borderline clinically insane interpretations of scientific data be taught in schools as evidence that God created the Earth in 6 days. And I used to try to argue with these people... I used to try to go over to talk.origins on Usenet and have intelligent conversations with them, but nothing could be more pointless. Because anyone who can read the Bible and look at the story of Noah and read that as a historical document rather than an allegorical Fairy Tale... I mean... what are you going to say to someone like that? They are clearly not using anything even vaguely resembling a rational thought process. It’s the exact same kind of absolutely blind, incoherent devotion to an outdated mentality that causes certain other breeds of fundamentalists to blow themselves up and fly planes into buildings. It is stubbornly, defiantly, gleefully anti-thinking.
But the passive Creationist is someone who has never really thought about it much. If you ask him or her, they will say that God created Man. But if you pin them down on the age of the universe or the question of evolution, they’ll say... well... I believe that God made the Big Bang happen or “guided” evolution or something. Or worse, they’ll say... Oh maybe that’s true, but the scientists just haven’t proven it. Which is a huge failure on the part of science, and our educational system. That makes me sad. It makes me sad that in 12 years of school... nobody explained to these people how science works, or what science IS, or what a THEORY is, or HOW we know what we know about the world. Because these people were told some things in Sunday School when they were 8, and nobody ever taught them anything more... MORE... they were never taught to question or to think for themselves... they were never taught to look for something BETTER. It’s like coming across a 34 year-old who still believes in Santa Claus or still thinks babies come from the Stork something. It’s... SAD. These people aren’t being belligerent or hardheaded or clinging blindly to a millennium-old worldview. They just haven’t been educated. We’ve failed.
And these are the people whom the active Creationists are targeting with their fucking theme parks. (I mean, besides brainwashing their own children.) And it’s funny that the theme park that they are talking about in this story is about an hour from where I’m moving this summer. Maybe I’ll have to pay it a visit. Maybe I’ll have to hand out some pamphlets or something!
But what gives me faith is the knowledge of what happened with Copernicus. When Copernicus said that the Earth goes around the Sun, the first reaction was to ignore it. A couple of scientists paid attention. Nobody else. A generation later, people began to believe it. Then the Church paid attention. Giordano Bruno was burned at the stake... Galileo was “vehemently suspected of heresy”, forced to denounce the belief, and placed under house arrest. But 50 years later ALL of the astronomers in Europe believed that the Sun was the center of the solar system. A hundred years after Copernicus, it was being taught in the universities. And 150 years after Copernicus’s death, his theory was being taught in Protestant secondary schools in his home country of Poland.
Darwin died in 1882. By my count we’ve got another 30 years or so left until we can look forward to the word “Creation Science” disappearing once and for all from the mouths of our uneducated School Boards. It WILL happen eventually.
I have faith.
One of my readers (dop) posted an article in her weblog the other day about a dinosaur-themed Creationist theme park. I think she expected me to be shocked. I gave up on that long ago. Mostly it just makes me sad now.
There are two kinds of “Creationists” really... I think of them as active and passive Creationists. The passive ones actually worry me the most. The active ones are easy to dismiss as just plain nuts. They are the ones who go around suggesting that the Earth is really only 6000 years old and that there were dinosaurs on Noah’s Ark and that Leviathan was a dinosaur and that the Flood killed all the dinosaurs and that pretty much everything we think we know about biology, geology, astronomy, and nuclear physics is WRONG. They try to back up their claims with “scientific” evidence and then ask that their demented, borderline clinically insane interpretations of scientific data be taught in schools as evidence that God created the Earth in 6 days. And I used to try to argue with these people... I used to try to go over to talk.origins on Usenet and have intelligent conversations with them, but nothing could be more pointless. Because anyone who can read the Bible and look at the story of Noah and read that as a historical document rather than an allegorical Fairy Tale... I mean... what are you going to say to someone like that? They are clearly not using anything even vaguely resembling a rational thought process. It’s the exact same kind of absolutely blind, incoherent devotion to an outdated mentality that causes certain other breeds of fundamentalists to blow themselves up and fly planes into buildings. It is stubbornly, defiantly, gleefully anti-thinking.
But the passive Creationist is someone who has never really thought about it much. If you ask him or her, they will say that God created Man. But if you pin them down on the age of the universe or the question of evolution, they’ll say... well... I believe that God made the Big Bang happen or “guided” evolution or something. Or worse, they’ll say... Oh maybe that’s true, but the scientists just haven’t proven it. Which is a huge failure on the part of science, and our educational system. That makes me sad. It makes me sad that in 12 years of school... nobody explained to these people how science works, or what science IS, or what a THEORY is, or HOW we know what we know about the world. Because these people were told some things in Sunday School when they were 8, and nobody ever taught them anything more... MORE... they were never taught to question or to think for themselves... they were never taught to look for something BETTER. It’s like coming across a 34 year-old who still believes in Santa Claus or still thinks babies come from the Stork something. It’s... SAD. These people aren’t being belligerent or hardheaded or clinging blindly to a millennium-old worldview. They just haven’t been educated. We’ve failed.
And these are the people whom the active Creationists are targeting with their fucking theme parks. (I mean, besides brainwashing their own children.) And it’s funny that the theme park that they are talking about in this story is about an hour from where I’m moving this summer. Maybe I’ll have to pay it a visit. Maybe I’ll have to hand out some pamphlets or something!
But what gives me faith is the knowledge of what happened with Copernicus. When Copernicus said that the Earth goes around the Sun, the first reaction was to ignore it. A couple of scientists paid attention. Nobody else. A generation later, people began to believe it. Then the Church paid attention. Giordano Bruno was burned at the stake... Galileo was “vehemently suspected of heresy”, forced to denounce the belief, and placed under house arrest. But 50 years later ALL of the astronomers in Europe believed that the Sun was the center of the solar system. A hundred years after Copernicus, it was being taught in the universities. And 150 years after Copernicus’s death, his theory was being taught in Protestant secondary schools in his home country of Poland.
Darwin died in 1882. By my count we’ve got another 30 years or so left until we can look forward to the word “Creation Science” disappearing once and for all from the mouths of our uneducated School Boards. It WILL happen eventually.
I have faith.
wasteful stupidity alert...
I called Apple yesterday. I finally got around to dealing with my missing ”Shift” key. I popped off the key-cap one day to get a hair of a piece of schmutz out from underneath and it broke one of the microscopic plastic pins on the bottom of the cover. So I’ve been typing without a right-side Shift key for about 4 months. I’m kinda used to it, but I wanted to fix it before my warranty expired.
So I called Apple, set up my extended warranty, which I’ve also been meaning to do and told them I needed a replacement Shift key. ”We don’t stock replacement keys. We’ll have to send you a whole keyboard.”
Now... I ask you... what the FUCK? You are going to send me an entire $100 laptop keyboard instead of a 25 cent key cap?? That’s just fucking INSANE.
(PS: They told me I don’t have to send back the old one either, which means that I can sell the old key-caps one at a time on eBay to people whose warranties have expired!)
I called Apple yesterday. I finally got around to dealing with my missing ”Shift” key. I popped off the key-cap one day to get a hair of a piece of schmutz out from underneath and it broke one of the microscopic plastic pins on the bottom of the cover. So I’ve been typing without a right-side Shift key for about 4 months. I’m kinda used to it, but I wanted to fix it before my warranty expired.
So I called Apple, set up my extended warranty, which I’ve also been meaning to do and told them I needed a replacement Shift key. ”We don’t stock replacement keys. We’ll have to send you a whole keyboard.”
Now... I ask you... what the FUCK? You are going to send me an entire $100 laptop keyboard instead of a 25 cent key cap?? That’s just fucking INSANE.
(PS: They told me I don’t have to send back the old one either, which means that I can sell the old key-caps one at a time on eBay to people whose warranties have expired!)
Tuesday, May 4
dave is a sucker for a good "meme"...
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
I don't think you're supposed to put the source of the quote to be right proper about it, but I can't pass up the opportunity to point out how much Einstein rocked.
1. Grab the nearest book.
2. Open the book to page 23.
3. Find the fifth sentence.
4. Post the text of the sentence in your journal along with these instructions.
If one were to take that goal out of its religious form and look merely at its purely human side, one might state it perhaps thus: free and resposnible development of the individual, so that he may place his powers freely and gladly in the service of all mankind.-- Albert Einstein, "Out of My Later Years"
I don't think you're supposed to put the source of the quote to be right proper about it, but I can't pass up the opportunity to point out how much Einstein rocked.
stop... THINK... purchase...
I was digging through the pile of the wife’s recent Target purchases last week, and found a package of “BloPens.” You know these things? You know when you were in the 7th grade and you’d chew on a Bic pen until the little plug came out of the end, and you’d keep sucking on it and chewing on it until you finally realize that there is a big *splurp* of ink being blown out of the tip? This is like that, only on purpose. They are these magic-marker thingies that you BLOW through the back of, and they work kind of like an airbrush, poofing a spray of ink out of the tip, kinda like an airbrush. Cool, huh?
Yeah... especially for a one-year-old and a five-year-old. It’s things like this that make me want to scream at her... “Do you stop and give even a MOMENT’S thought to the things you put in your shopping cart?? Ink spraying pens? In this house? Because clearly the kids don’t ruin ENOUGH shit with crayons and markers... they need some art-materials with a larger area of effect. Why not just buy them a pneumatic commercial paint sprayer? A big pack of extra-wide tip permanent Sharpies? Some water balloons filled with wood stain?”
Jesus.
I was digging through the pile of the wife’s recent Target purchases last week, and found a package of “BloPens.” You know these things? You know when you were in the 7th grade and you’d chew on a Bic pen until the little plug came out of the end, and you’d keep sucking on it and chewing on it until you finally realize that there is a big *splurp* of ink being blown out of the tip? This is like that, only on purpose. They are these magic-marker thingies that you BLOW through the back of, and they work kind of like an airbrush, poofing a spray of ink out of the tip, kinda like an airbrush. Cool, huh?
Yeah... especially for a one-year-old and a five-year-old. It’s things like this that make me want to scream at her... “Do you stop and give even a MOMENT’S thought to the things you put in your shopping cart?? Ink spraying pens? In this house? Because clearly the kids don’t ruin ENOUGH shit with crayons and markers... they need some art-materials with a larger area of effect. Why not just buy them a pneumatic commercial paint sprayer? A big pack of extra-wide tip permanent Sharpies? Some water balloons filled with wood stain?”
Jesus.
nightmares...
My dreams on Sunday night ranged from “alligator-infested swamps” to “old-west-style gunfights in my house” to “piles of cats-on-fire”. Don’t even fucking ask me. I checked the web today to see if one of the side-effects of my allergy medicine was weird-ass fucked-up dreams. It doesn’t seem to be.
The Little One is down to only waking up once or twice during the night instead of 3 or 4 times. I’m wondering if my brain is going nuts what with all the extra REM sleep it’s not used to. Woo-hoo! Uninterrupted sleep! Time to get funky!
Please... stop... brain. Will you stop... please?
My dreams on Sunday night ranged from “alligator-infested swamps” to “old-west-style gunfights in my house” to “piles of cats-on-fire”. Don’t even fucking ask me. I checked the web today to see if one of the side-effects of my allergy medicine was weird-ass fucked-up dreams. It doesn’t seem to be.
The Little One is down to only waking up once or twice during the night instead of 3 or 4 times. I’m wondering if my brain is going nuts what with all the extra REM sleep it’s not used to. Woo-hoo! Uninterrupted sleep! Time to get funky!
Please... stop... brain. Will you stop... please?
Monday, May 3
routine...
I got on the train today, and someone was in my seat.
You heard me... MY seat! You don’t understand the static nature of one of these early morning commuter trains. Same people, every day... they stand at the same place on the platform, get into the same car, sit in the same seats. Or nearly the same seats. Me? I take the forward facing side of the double-facing seats at the end of the last car. And today there was this couple sitting there. People I’ve never seen before. Who do they think THEY are??
So, I need to have a double-facing seat, because it’s really impossible to work on a laptop in the regular seats, so I went upstairs and took the same seats on the second level. And I’m sure I’m screwing up somebody ELSE’S morning by being here. It’s probably sending a ripple effect right down the train.
It’s weird, though... I don’t recognize ANY of these people up here. Except the Blonde From My Stop. She’s up here. Next row behind the seat I’m facing, actually. It’s funny... I can’t tell if I think she’s attractive or not. I’ve never seen her smile. I wonder...
Anyway. The semester is almost over... May 17th is the last day. Two weeks. I didn’t even buy a monthly ticket this month... it’s singles from here on out. Pretty soon, my seat will be up for grabs. It’s funny to think... all these TrainPeople you see every day. Will they notice? Will the Blonde ever think to herself... I wonder whatever happened to that Guy With The Ponytail?
Too late, Blondie. He’s gone for good. You missed your chance.
I got on the train today, and someone was in my seat.
You heard me... MY seat! You don’t understand the static nature of one of these early morning commuter trains. Same people, every day... they stand at the same place on the platform, get into the same car, sit in the same seats. Or nearly the same seats. Me? I take the forward facing side of the double-facing seats at the end of the last car. And today there was this couple sitting there. People I’ve never seen before. Who do they think THEY are??
So, I need to have a double-facing seat, because it’s really impossible to work on a laptop in the regular seats, so I went upstairs and took the same seats on the second level. And I’m sure I’m screwing up somebody ELSE’S morning by being here. It’s probably sending a ripple effect right down the train.
It’s weird, though... I don’t recognize ANY of these people up here. Except the Blonde From My Stop. She’s up here. Next row behind the seat I’m facing, actually. It’s funny... I can’t tell if I think she’s attractive or not. I’ve never seen her smile. I wonder...
Anyway. The semester is almost over... May 17th is the last day. Two weeks. I didn’t even buy a monthly ticket this month... it’s singles from here on out. Pretty soon, my seat will be up for grabs. It’s funny to think... all these TrainPeople you see every day. Will they notice? Will the Blonde ever think to herself... I wonder whatever happened to that Guy With The Ponytail?
Too late, Blondie. He’s gone for good. You missed your chance.
Sunday, May 2
freaky old tv program synchronicity...
Last night we were watching TV and there was that AOL commercial that mocks the opening of ”The Six-Million Dollar Man” and listening to the voiceover, it really does sound like the same guy from the TV show. I’m pretty sure the voiceover for the TV show was done by the guy who played Steve Austin’s boss (Oscar?) so I looked him up on IMDB to see if he was still alive. He is. His name is “Richard Anderson.” He was also on Dynasty. So, who knows... it could be him.
Anyway, today there’s nothing on the TiVo, so I’m flipping channels (Old School!) and I find an old episode of “The Fugitive” on TV-Land. I think it’s one of the last episodes. And this week’s guest star?
Richard Anderson.
Whoa.
Last night we were watching TV and there was that AOL commercial that mocks the opening of ”The Six-Million Dollar Man” and listening to the voiceover, it really does sound like the same guy from the TV show. I’m pretty sure the voiceover for the TV show was done by the guy who played Steve Austin’s boss (Oscar?) so I looked him up on IMDB to see if he was still alive. He is. His name is “Richard Anderson.” He was also on Dynasty. So, who knows... it could be him.
Anyway, today there’s nothing on the TiVo, so I’m flipping channels (Old School!) and I find an old episode of “The Fugitive” on TV-Land. I think it’s one of the last episodes. And this week’s guest star?
Richard Anderson.
Whoa.
(cut to shot of grass growing...)
I’ve been seeing previews lately for a supposed summer blockbuster called “The Day After Tomorrow”. It’s apparently a disaster movie about global warming.
Let me say that again...
A disaster movie about global warming.
And all I can think is... man, that’s gotta be one long fucking movie.
I’ve been seeing previews lately for a supposed summer blockbuster called “The Day After Tomorrow”. It’s apparently a disaster movie about global warming.
Let me say that again...
A disaster movie about global warming.
And all I can think is... man, that’s gotta be one long fucking movie.
”Is it hot in here, or is just me?”
Saturday, May 1
job, move, timing...
We're tying to get a handle on the "transfer of power" that is coming up in July, and there are a lot of factors to consider. We've gotten 3 moving estimates so far, and they are coming up in the neighborhood of $6000-$7000. But it turns out that the first week of July is the busiest moving time of the year, and thus is designated "PEAK" time and costs about $1000 more. So what would cost us $7500 on July 1 will only cost $6500 if we wait until July 7th.
So we are somewhat inclined to push the moving date back a week, especially since the builders down there in AL won't exactly promise us a completion date before the middle of the month. They never say "No" - but they never say "Yes" either. They just say - "Around the middle of July". We have some flexibility on the closing date on our end, and we don't want to wind up in a situation where we close on July 2 up here and wind up having to put our stuff in storage for 2 weeks, which could get REALLY expensive.
On the other hand, once July 1st hits, I'm no longer getting PAID by anybody, nor do I have health insurance or anything, so we don't want to drag out the interim period TOO long. Right now we're leaning towards closing here on July 6th or 7th, which would get us OUT of the peak moving period, and given the 9 days that we're allowed to have our stuff on the truck, give us until July 15th - and then just pray that the house is done by then.
We also haven't decided how to get US and our CARS and our CATS down to Mobile in a way that makes sense. We'll probably wind up having MY car transported, which I think only costs a few hundred bucks. We're also looking into commercial pet transport, since we can't really spend 4 days with the cats in the car! Because our original plan was to drive from here to Baltimore, spend the night with family, then to Southern VA, stay with friends, then to Atlanta to stay with more friends, then to Mobile. So we'd be on the road 4 days and catch up with the moving van down there. But now it's looking like maybe it would be better to just send the wife and kids down by plane, and I could do a quick 2-day drive down by myself. A lot actually depends on the cats, even though that seems a bit silly.
In any case, we need to decide soon, because all of the moving companies tell us if we're moving in July we need to book before the middle of May. I just wish it was all OVER with.
We're tying to get a handle on the "transfer of power" that is coming up in July, and there are a lot of factors to consider. We've gotten 3 moving estimates so far, and they are coming up in the neighborhood of $6000-$7000. But it turns out that the first week of July is the busiest moving time of the year, and thus is designated "PEAK" time and costs about $1000 more. So what would cost us $7500 on July 1 will only cost $6500 if we wait until July 7th.
So we are somewhat inclined to push the moving date back a week, especially since the builders down there in AL won't exactly promise us a completion date before the middle of the month. They never say "No" - but they never say "Yes" either. They just say - "Around the middle of July". We have some flexibility on the closing date on our end, and we don't want to wind up in a situation where we close on July 2 up here and wind up having to put our stuff in storage for 2 weeks, which could get REALLY expensive.
On the other hand, once July 1st hits, I'm no longer getting PAID by anybody, nor do I have health insurance or anything, so we don't want to drag out the interim period TOO long. Right now we're leaning towards closing here on July 6th or 7th, which would get us OUT of the peak moving period, and given the 9 days that we're allowed to have our stuff on the truck, give us until July 15th - and then just pray that the house is done by then.
We also haven't decided how to get US and our CARS and our CATS down to Mobile in a way that makes sense. We'll probably wind up having MY car transported, which I think only costs a few hundred bucks. We're also looking into commercial pet transport, since we can't really spend 4 days with the cats in the car! Because our original plan was to drive from here to Baltimore, spend the night with family, then to Southern VA, stay with friends, then to Atlanta to stay with more friends, then to Mobile. So we'd be on the road 4 days and catch up with the moving van down there. But now it's looking like maybe it would be better to just send the wife and kids down by plane, and I could do a quick 2-day drive down by myself. A lot actually depends on the cats, even though that seems a bit silly.
In any case, we need to decide soon, because all of the moving companies tell us if we're moving in July we need to book before the middle of May. I just wish it was all OVER with.
computer stuff...
My net connection is all flaky this morning. Time to unplug the cable box in the basement, then plug it back in. Sometimes that fixes it.
I updated the system software on my laptop the other day for the first time. I never to the automatic updates. I figure – if it’s not having any PROBLEMS... why fuck with the operating system? But lately the graphics on my Mac have been going all wacko-pixellated on me whenever I resize a window... usually after I unplug from an external LCD projector at work. So, I figured I’d hold my breath and update... from 10.2.2 to 10.2.8. So far... no problems.
I had a very successful night of illegal downloading last night. It’s always very satisfying when you can scrape together a whole album one track at a time. I scored three last night – “Rock N’ Roll” by Ryan Adams... “White Blood Cells” by the White Stripes... and the latest album by the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs. I think I’m pretty well-stocked with new music for a while.
I never mentioned one other mishap from a few weeks ago. I tripped over the cord to my laptop, sending the whole thing crashing to the ground and mangling the fuck out of the AC plug. I had use pliers to bend it back into something resembling “round” so it would go back into the hole, but even still you have to push just a *leeetle* too hard to get it in there. It ain’t pretty, but it works. There is a little crack there in the case too. Fucking shit.
My net connection is all flaky this morning. Time to unplug the cable box in the basement, then plug it back in. Sometimes that fixes it.
I updated the system software on my laptop the other day for the first time. I never to the automatic updates. I figure – if it’s not having any PROBLEMS... why fuck with the operating system? But lately the graphics on my Mac have been going all wacko-pixellated on me whenever I resize a window... usually after I unplug from an external LCD projector at work. So, I figured I’d hold my breath and update... from 10.2.2 to 10.2.8. So far... no problems.
I had a very successful night of illegal downloading last night. It’s always very satisfying when you can scrape together a whole album one track at a time. I scored three last night – “Rock N’ Roll” by Ryan Adams... “White Blood Cells” by the White Stripes... and the latest album by the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs. I think I’m pretty well-stocked with new music for a while.
I never mentioned one other mishap from a few weeks ago. I tripped over the cord to my laptop, sending the whole thing crashing to the ground and mangling the fuck out of the AC plug. I had use pliers to bend it back into something resembling “round” so it would go back into the hole, but even still you have to push just a *leeetle* too hard to get it in there. It ain’t pretty, but it works. There is a little crack there in the case too. Fucking shit.
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