did i mention they were late this morning as well...?
CONDUCTOR: "This is the 4:08 express train. We would like to apologize about the bathroom situation. There is only one bathroom on this train, in the rear car, and it is not in... uh... "optimal condition". It was reported to management and we were given orders to take this train as is. Sorry for the inconvenience"
--- 5 min later ---
CONDUCTOR: "This is the 4:08 express train. Once again, we would like to apologize about the condition of the bathroom. What happened was, it was reported to management, and they sent a maintenance crew over to work on it, and the guy said he did the best with what he could do so, I was told to take this train and it would be fully repaired at a later time. Sorry for the inconvenience."
(train departs)
--- 15 min later ---
(train stops at a station where it is NOT scheduled to stop)
CONDUCTOR: "Ok folks, we've... uh... received NEW orders. Because of the bathroom situation, we're going to ask everybody to exit the train here. Our replacement train will be on Track 1, so you'll all have to exit, go DOWN the stairs... under the platform, and back UP the stairs on the other side. Once again, we are switching trains here. Thank you.
All I can say is... I better see some fucking people PEEING... right now. A LOT. I swear, If I got a rebate on my monthly ticket for every day my train was late or cancelled or fucked up in some way... this whole month would have cost me nothing.
Wednesday, February 28
Monday, February 26
snow day?
I mean, yes, it clearly is a day with snow, and the kids' school is cancelled. We got about 4" overnight, but it's light and fluffy, and the temp is 22º rather than 7º, so the salt on the roads is actually working. So I got up this morning, checked the school closings for the wife, cleared off the car, shoveled off my end of the driveway, told the wife (still asleep) that schools were closed, hopped in my car and headed for the train station.
About halfway there, I realized... I forgot to check to see if MY school was closed.
Now, I'm sure it's NOT closed. The last snow was far worse than this one, and it didn't close then, but still... it's the kind of thing one wants to check, because if I'm wrong... that means I shoveled snow at 6:00 AM and rode on a train for 4 hours for no fucking reason at all.
Although, being out of the house when the kids are home for the third day in a row... not a bad trade-off.
(I just got up and changed train cars. It was too cold in there. Freezing cold air, blowing right on my fucking head. This car must be 20º warmer.)
It's getting to be that-time-of-the-semester, where the workload actually kicks in. Papers to be graded, exams to be written, committee meetings to attend. I actually graded a stack of homework over the weekend. The turn-in rate for the second assignment was appalling... 10 out of 20. Since then, two students have withdrawn, though, so... I guess we're still at > 50%. It's the same every semester. It makes me want to toss my syllabus and replace it with something more concise.
It seems like it should be so simple.
I mean, yes, it clearly is a day with snow, and the kids' school is cancelled. We got about 4" overnight, but it's light and fluffy, and the temp is 22º rather than 7º, so the salt on the roads is actually working. So I got up this morning, checked the school closings for the wife, cleared off the car, shoveled off my end of the driveway, told the wife (still asleep) that schools were closed, hopped in my car and headed for the train station.
About halfway there, I realized... I forgot to check to see if MY school was closed.
Now, I'm sure it's NOT closed. The last snow was far worse than this one, and it didn't close then, but still... it's the kind of thing one wants to check, because if I'm wrong... that means I shoveled snow at 6:00 AM and rode on a train for 4 hours for no fucking reason at all.
Although, being out of the house when the kids are home for the third day in a row... not a bad trade-off.
(I just got up and changed train cars. It was too cold in there. Freezing cold air, blowing right on my fucking head. This car must be 20º warmer.)
It's getting to be that-time-of-the-semester, where the workload actually kicks in. Papers to be graded, exams to be written, committee meetings to attend. I actually graded a stack of homework over the weekend. The turn-in rate for the second assignment was appalling... 10 out of 20. Since then, two students have withdrawn, though, so... I guess we're still at > 50%. It's the same every semester. It makes me want to toss my syllabus and replace it with something more concise.
Course Policies
1) Come to every class.
2) Arrive to class on time.
3) Do the homework.
Do these 3 things, and you are practically guaranteed a B- or better.
Fail to do these things and you will probably get a C or worse.
It seems like it should be so simple.
Sunday, February 25
dave and pippa pick the oscars...
We amused ourselves so much with our Grammy night predictions, pippa and I have gone and done it again with the Academy Awards. Enjoy...
Performance by an actor in a leading role: Forest Whitaker - THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND
Performance by an actor in a supporting role: Eddie Murphy - DREAMGIRLS
Performance by an actress in a leading role: Helen Mirren - THE QUEEN
Performance by an actress in a supporting role: Jennifer Hudson - DREAMGIRLS
Best animated feature film of the year: CARS
Achievement in art direction: PAN'S LABYRINTH
Achievement in cinematography: CHILDREN OF MEN
Achievement in costume design: MARIE ANTOINETTE
Achievement in directing: LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA
Best documentary feature: AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH
Adapted screenplay: NOTES ON A SCANDAL
Original screenplay: BABEL
Best motion picture of the year: BABEL
pippa: Are we done?
dave: think so.
pippa: That's all the nominees and that show takes 8 HOURS?
dave: that was kind of boring. it would be more interesting if we just watched the show and made fun of the way people dressed.
We amused ourselves so much with our Grammy night predictions, pippa and I have gone and done it again with the Academy Awards. Enjoy...
Performance by an actor in a leading role: Forest Whitaker - THE LAST KING OF SCOTLAND
pippa: I think the Academy is going to shock the hell out of folks and give it to Peter Fracking O'Toole.
dave: i considered it? but by all accounts Forest Whittaker is pretty amazing in that Idi Amin movie
pippa: don't care. Crazy is easy. BEING crazy and acting like you aren't? Genius. Most folks can't manage it.
dave: right.
pippa: I mean, look at Britney
Performance by an actor in a supporting role: Eddie Murphy - DREAMGIRLS
pippa: Okay... supporting actor? Deperessing, but they will probably give it to Eddie Murphy. I would much rather see it to to Jackie Earle Haley. I had HUGE crush on him in the Bad News Bears.
Performance by an actress in a leading role: Helen Mirren - THE QUEEN
pippa: Helen Mirren. That's a gimme.
Performance by an actress in a supporting role: Jennifer Hudson - DREAMGIRLS
pippa: Jennifer Hudson. I think anyone who can sing that song wins anything they are up for. Period.
dave: (this may not be worth posting if we agree on 90% of them!)
Best animated feature film of the year: CARS
pippa: I'm going with Happy Feet. Cars with eyes on the windshield? Not so much. Penguins dancing? Comedy gold.
dave: We hated happy feet. Even two LoTR alumni couldn't save that one.Besides, Pixar tends to pwn this category
pippa: Heh. You said pwn. Are we doing the rest of te picks in l33t?
Achievement in art direction: PAN'S LABYRINTH
pippa: Pans Labrynth. Hands down.
Achievement in cinematography: CHILDREN OF MEN
pippa: Pans Labrynth again
dave: I didn't see either one. My picks for the last two are based solely on the trailers.
Achievement in costume design: MARIE ANTOINETTE
pippa: I'm going with Curse of the Golden Flower.
dave: I think it's usually a fair bet that corsets = costume design oscar
Achievement in directing: LETTERS FROM IWO JIMA
pippa: I don't think that they are going to throw the bone to Scorcese as expected, and I'm going with Bablel.
Best documentary feature: AN INCONVENIENT TRUTH
pippa: In Your Face, BUSH!
Adapted screenplay: NOTES ON A SCANDAL
pippa: Pan's Labyrinth
Original screenplay: BABEL
pippa: Borat
dave: wait, wasn't Borat UNSCRIPTED?? what was the screenplay??
pippa: Maybe they wrote it all down after they made it?
Best motion picture of the year: BABEL
pippa: Little Miss Sunshine.
dave: what?? no way. that movie is far too add and quirky to win best picture
pippa: Are we done?
dave: think so.
pippa: That's all the nominees and that show takes 8 HOURS?
dave: that was kind of boring. it would be more interesting if we just watched the show and made fun of the way people dressed.
dissertation haiku...
Somehow I missed this academic haiku contest, but I figure that's no reason to deprive my readers of a poetic summary of my Ph.D. dissertation. It's disturbing how easy it was to boil down 100 pages into 17 syllables.
Somehow I missed this academic haiku contest, but I figure that's no reason to deprive my readers of a poetic summary of my Ph.D. dissertation. It's disturbing how easy it was to boil down 100 pages into 17 syllables.
stars made out of quarks
this is how you would find them
that is, if they're real
Doctor McCheapskate...
I'm weirdly fascinated by this website SeenOn.com where you can shop for the items worn by your favorite TV characters last week. It's kind of a creepy idea, and yet... the idea of being instantly as well-dressed as people who have an army of professionals devoted to making them appear well-dressed is kind of appealing.
At least it seemed like a good idea until I clicked on the FUCKING $250 SHIRT worn by Derek Shepherd on Grey's Anatomy. Apparently one has to be a fictional neurosurgeon to be able to dress that well.
I could maybe afford some of George O'Malley's clothes, but I'm not sure that would be a good thing.
I'm weirdly fascinated by this website SeenOn.com where you can shop for the items worn by your favorite TV characters last week. It's kind of a creepy idea, and yet... the idea of being instantly as well-dressed as people who have an army of professionals devoted to making them appear well-dressed is kind of appealing.
At least it seemed like a good idea until I clicked on the FUCKING $250 SHIRT worn by Derek Shepherd on Grey's Anatomy. Apparently one has to be a fictional neurosurgeon to be able to dress that well.
I could maybe afford some of George O'Malley's clothes, but I'm not sure that would be a good thing.
Saturday, February 24
smartypants...
I think I mentioned before that we were getting the Boy IQ tested so that we would have some data to wave in the faces of the School Board when it comes to arguing that he should be in Kindergarten this year, despite being three weeks "too young". Well, the preliminary results are in, and it looks like he's scoring somewhere in the 150 range. And I hesitate to even say such an thing, and I'm really not doing it to brag, all I'm trying to say is - WE ARE RIGHT AND THE SCHOOL IS WRONG!!! To quote the psychologist that administered the test - What the heck are they going to do with him in Kindergarten?
Anyway, the girl is off this morning getting HER brain probed by vintage 1950's style intelligence tests this morning. We figured as long as we were shelling out the money for one, we'd get her tested too, since I'm sure we'll need that data for some program or other down the road.
The wife was reading the paper this morning and came across the section on local coommunity meetings and such and said - "Oh, hey... maybe we can sign the kids up for MENSA."
To which I replied - "Yeah, or we could teach them to relate to people who AREN'T FREAKS."
I think I mentioned before that we were getting the Boy IQ tested so that we would have some data to wave in the faces of the School Board when it comes to arguing that he should be in Kindergarten this year, despite being three weeks "too young". Well, the preliminary results are in, and it looks like he's scoring somewhere in the 150 range. And I hesitate to even say such an thing, and I'm really not doing it to brag, all I'm trying to say is - WE ARE RIGHT AND THE SCHOOL IS WRONG!!! To quote the psychologist that administered the test - What the heck are they going to do with him in Kindergarten?
Anyway, the girl is off this morning getting HER brain probed by vintage 1950's style intelligence tests this morning. We figured as long as we were shelling out the money for one, we'd get her tested too, since I'm sure we'll need that data for some program or other down the road.
The wife was reading the paper this morning and came across the section on local coommunity meetings and such and said - "Oh, hey... maybe we can sign the kids up for MENSA."
To which I replied - "Yeah, or we could teach them to relate to people who AREN'T FREAKS."
Friday, February 23
weekly improv...
weekly improv...
I'm testing out a new music hosting site. Let me know if you have any touble with the latest weekly improv. This week it's a little new age piano, complete with relaxing ocean waves! I put them in there as a joke, but I'm ashamed to say they make me really happy.
I wonder how much money you make for a Cd that sells from one of those Wal-Mart kiosks? I could totally knock one of those out over a weekend.
I'm testing out a new music hosting site. Let me know if you have any touble with the latest weekly improv. This week it's a little new age piano, complete with relaxing ocean waves! I put them in there as a joke, but I'm ashamed to say they make me really happy.
I wonder how much money you make for a Cd that sells from one of those Wal-Mart kiosks? I could totally knock one of those out over a weekend.
Thursday, February 22
book news...
book news...
a thought led to a thought today, and I went over to Douglas Coupland's web page and found out he has a new book due out in the Fall. Apparently the plot of the new book centers on two Staples employees, one a struggling novelist in his mid-forties and the other a twenty-something Goth girl.
Of course it does.
test...1...2...
test...1...2...
I saw a good review for this Mac-based blogging program. I figure, one-click publishing to Blogger might be easier than composing in TextEdit, then logging on to Blogger when I get to school, then copying and pasting and publishing. We'll see how it works.
I saw a good review for this Mac-based blogging program. I figure, one-click publishing to Blogger might be easier than composing in TextEdit, then logging on to Blogger when I get to school, then copying and pasting and publishing. We'll see how it works.
Wednesday, February 21
off track...
The train in front of mine has apparently de-railed. We are currently tracking backwards to the last switch so that we can change tracks.
This is why I leave at 6:00 AM for a 10:00 class.
Wow. We just passed the other train. Pretty fucked-up. Not like... on its side derailed, but... definitely off the tracks with every other car jack-knifed in a different direction. I could be having a much shittier morning, that's for sure.
The train in front of mine has apparently de-railed. We are currently tracking backwards to the last switch so that we can change tracks.
This is why I leave at 6:00 AM for a 10:00 class.
Wow. We just passed the other train. Pretty fucked-up. Not like... on its side derailed, but... definitely off the tracks with every other car jack-knifed in a different direction. I could be having a much shittier morning, that's for sure.
Monday, February 19
dave gets religion...
I may be getting myself wrapped up in another interdisciplinary co-teaching gig. This time I've semi-volunteered to work on a Science and Religion course in Fall of 2008 with a professor of Literature and Religious Studies. I think the University is really keen on having a course like this, and NOBODY else in the science department has any interest so... it's all mine.
So for the past few days I've been immersing myself in Isaac Newton's theological writings (boring!) and trying to find some creationist sources on the web that don't come off as completely idiotic (impossible!) and trying to find religiously affiliated schools in NYC with science departments with whom I might have a dialogue (non-existent!).
I mean - the idea is... if we're going to spend any time at all dealing with issues like "creationism" and "intelligent design" (and I don't see how we can't) I like the idea of spending at least ONE day exploring these positions on their face value, without editorializing and without caricaturing. The following day, I'd tear them apart, of course... but I'd like to maintain some semblance of "fair and balanced" as they say. And it's sure as hell not going to come from WITHIN the college... our faculty is so liberal that even the Religious Studies profs are atheists!
Anyway. That's what I'm up to today.
I may be getting myself wrapped up in another interdisciplinary co-teaching gig. This time I've semi-volunteered to work on a Science and Religion course in Fall of 2008 with a professor of Literature and Religious Studies. I think the University is really keen on having a course like this, and NOBODY else in the science department has any interest so... it's all mine.
So for the past few days I've been immersing myself in Isaac Newton's theological writings (boring!) and trying to find some creationist sources on the web that don't come off as completely idiotic (impossible!) and trying to find religiously affiliated schools in NYC with science departments with whom I might have a dialogue (non-existent!).
I mean - the idea is... if we're going to spend any time at all dealing with issues like "creationism" and "intelligent design" (and I don't see how we can't) I like the idea of spending at least ONE day exploring these positions on their face value, without editorializing and without caricaturing. The following day, I'd tear them apart, of course... but I'd like to maintain some semblance of "fair and balanced" as they say. And it's sure as hell not going to come from WITHIN the college... our faculty is so liberal that even the Religious Studies profs are atheists!
Anyway. That's what I'm up to today.
Saturday, February 17
entertainment gossip is usually beneath me, but...
Britney Spears is fucking bald. For some reason I find this too awesome for words.
Hey... guy who was in charge of pre-writing Anna Nicole Smith's obit? I think I have a new assignment for you.
Britney Spears is fucking bald. For some reason I find this too awesome for words.
Hey... guy who was in charge of pre-writing Anna Nicole Smith's obit? I think I have a new assignment for you.
Friday, February 16
silly project of the day...
Downloading all of Wikipedia (2.1 Gb) to my computer so I can have it available on my HD (or burn it to DVD) when I'm doing research in places without net access. (trains, planes, cafe's etc.)
It irks me that it isn't .1Gb smaller... it would give me an excuse to buy a 2 Gig flash drive to keep it on. Wikipedia in your pocket!!
Downloading all of Wikipedia (2.1 Gb) to my computer so I can have it available on my HD (or burn it to DVD) when I'm doing research in places without net access. (trains, planes, cafe's etc.)
It irks me that it isn't .1Gb smaller... it would give me an excuse to buy a 2 Gig flash drive to keep it on. Wikipedia in your pocket!!
Thursday, February 15
crappy few days...
It started on Tuesday. We had an appointment scheduled for the child psychologist to discuss testing the Boy for school readiness, so I was going to come home on the noonish train. On the way in, the 7:30 train was going to be an hour late. Which would have left me only 2 hours in the city. It wasn't worth it, so I went home. But that scrapped my Valentine's Day shopping plans. Luckily the wife didn't care too much because she is practically flatlined with the flu.
We went to dinner. Went to the shrink. She seems nice. The boy is taking the Wechsler (WPPSI) on Tuesday. The wife completely trashed her voice during the appointment.
That night it snowed for 2 hours, then sleeted for 12. Nobody could sleep from the 30 mph winds pelting the windows with chunks of ice. Schools were closed... except, of course, for mine. I called in "snow" to the morning class, got my co-teacher to cover the afternoon class, and forgot to email my department chair to tell her I was going to miss the science faculty meeting. Oops. Fuck.
Dealt with kids all day while the wife napped. Most of the day it was still too unpleasant to go outside. Eventually the sleet turned back to snow and I sent them out, but the Boy is still at the age where "playing in the snow" consists mostly of falling down, so getting his snow clothes on and off takes more time than he spends outside.
Today I spent the morning digging the car out of the snow-ice-snow layer cake that covered the driveway. 8"-10", except for the 2 feet at the end where the plow came by. Driving around is still hairy, because while the roads are mostly plowed, it's so windy and cold that the snow is drifting back over the road and freezing.
I have a faculty meeting today at 4:00, so I'm on a noon train. Not sure if I'll get a chance to run the errands I need to run.
In the meantime, there is other stuff nagging me... not the least of which is that I Googled one of those "people from your past who you should really stop Googling" and after 4 years of being disappeared, I'm sitting here staring at her email address, thinking... well, what the fuck do I do with THIS now?
But that's a story for another time. And another blog.
So, I'm looking at the next 4 days semi-snowed-in with a sick wife and cabin-fevery kids... hoping things will stop sucking soon.
(I just looked out the train window and saw someone cross-country skiing through the woods. Where are we, in fucking Norway??)
My friend Sam hasn't emailed me back about Bonnaroo. I don't think he thinks I'm serious. I totally am. I can fly to Atlanta for $79 each way... tickets are less than $200 and that includes camping. Figure in food and booze and sunscreen and you're still probably talking less than $500 for the whole week. Which is only about $80 per band-which-doesn't-suck, which is a bargain.
Ok. I'm gonna feed my "Six Feet Under" addiction for the rest of the trip. Perfect show when you're feeling kind of shitty.
It started on Tuesday. We had an appointment scheduled for the child psychologist to discuss testing the Boy for school readiness, so I was going to come home on the noonish train. On the way in, the 7:30 train was going to be an hour late. Which would have left me only 2 hours in the city. It wasn't worth it, so I went home. But that scrapped my Valentine's Day shopping plans. Luckily the wife didn't care too much because she is practically flatlined with the flu.
We went to dinner. Went to the shrink. She seems nice. The boy is taking the Wechsler (WPPSI) on Tuesday. The wife completely trashed her voice during the appointment.
That night it snowed for 2 hours, then sleeted for 12. Nobody could sleep from the 30 mph winds pelting the windows with chunks of ice. Schools were closed... except, of course, for mine. I called in "snow" to the morning class, got my co-teacher to cover the afternoon class, and forgot to email my department chair to tell her I was going to miss the science faculty meeting. Oops. Fuck.
Dealt with kids all day while the wife napped. Most of the day it was still too unpleasant to go outside. Eventually the sleet turned back to snow and I sent them out, but the Boy is still at the age where "playing in the snow" consists mostly of falling down, so getting his snow clothes on and off takes more time than he spends outside.
Today I spent the morning digging the car out of the snow-ice-snow layer cake that covered the driveway. 8"-10", except for the 2 feet at the end where the plow came by. Driving around is still hairy, because while the roads are mostly plowed, it's so windy and cold that the snow is drifting back over the road and freezing.
I have a faculty meeting today at 4:00, so I'm on a noon train. Not sure if I'll get a chance to run the errands I need to run.
In the meantime, there is other stuff nagging me... not the least of which is that I Googled one of those "people from your past who you should really stop Googling" and after 4 years of being disappeared, I'm sitting here staring at her email address, thinking... well, what the fuck do I do with THIS now?
But that's a story for another time. And another blog.
So, I'm looking at the next 4 days semi-snowed-in with a sick wife and cabin-fevery kids... hoping things will stop sucking soon.
(I just looked out the train window and saw someone cross-country skiing through the woods. Where are we, in fucking Norway??)
My friend Sam hasn't emailed me back about Bonnaroo. I don't think he thinks I'm serious. I totally am. I can fly to Atlanta for $79 each way... tickets are less than $200 and that includes camping. Figure in food and booze and sunscreen and you're still probably talking less than $500 for the whole week. Which is only about $80 per band-which-doesn't-suck, which is a bargain.
Ok. I'm gonna feed my "Six Feet Under" addiction for the rest of the trip. Perfect show when you're feeling kind of shitty.
Wednesday, February 14
dr. meanie...
I assigned my physics students a video to watch on the web to make up for today's cancelled class. It's by Kip Thorne at CalTech. I'm poking around on YouTube finding other physics lectures and taking screen captures. Next week I will give a "quiz" where I put the pictures on the screen and ask the students, "Which one is Kip Thorne?"
I assigned my physics students a video to watch on the web to make up for today's cancelled class. It's by Kip Thorne at CalTech. I'm poking around on YouTube finding other physics lectures and taking screen captures. Next week I will give a "quiz" where I put the pictures on the screen and ask the students, "Which one is Kip Thorne?"
the results are in...
And by pippa's count, Dave earns a slim victory in the Grammy Challenge. I think she stiffed herself a few half points in the country and rap awards, but I'm not about to argue with anyone who tells me I've won something.
And by pippa's count, Dave earns a slim victory in the Grammy Challenge. I think she stiffed herself a few half points in the country and rap awards, but I'm not about to argue with anyone who tells me I've won something.
Tuesday, February 13
someone stop me before I seriously consider this...
Bonnaroo. June. Tennessee.
The Police, The White Stripes, Tool, the Flaming Lips!!!
Franz Ferdinand! Wolfmother!!
Three hours from Atlanta, where my grad school roommate Sam lives.
Oddly enough, the wife is not flatly forbidding it.
Someone tell me that I won't be happy spending 4 days in a fucking field in Tennessee in the summer listening to music surrounded by a bunch of dirty hippies half my age.
Fuck, fuck, fuck...
Bonnaroo. June. Tennessee.
The Police, The White Stripes, Tool, the Flaming Lips!!!
Franz Ferdinand! Wolfmother!!
Three hours from Atlanta, where my grad school roommate Sam lives.
Oddly enough, the wife is not flatly forbidding it.
Someone tell me that I won't be happy spending 4 days in a fucking field in Tennessee in the summer listening to music surrounded by a bunch of dirty hippies half my age.
Fuck, fuck, fuck...
email to class...
You may have heard that they are calling for snow Tuesday night. It could pose a problem for Wednesday, since they are calling for 12"+ up here in the Hudson Valley, but only 3"-6" in the city... so I'm worried that the University might be open, but I'll be snowed in.
The upshot is this... check your email Wednesday morning before you come to class. If I'm unable to make it to the train on Wednesday morning, I'll send out an email to everyone letting you know that class is cancelled. I'll send you a link to some YouTube videos about relativity or something to take the place of class if this happens.
Dr. Dave
You may have heard that they are calling for snow Tuesday night. It could pose a problem for Wednesday, since they are calling for 12"+ up here in the Hudson Valley, but only 3"-6" in the city... so I'm worried that the University might be open, but I'll be snowed in.
The upshot is this... check your email Wednesday morning before you come to class. If I'm unable to make it to the train on Wednesday morning, I'll send out an email to everyone letting you know that class is cancelled. I'll send you a link to some YouTube videos about relativity or something to take the place of class if this happens.
Dr. Dave
Sunday, February 11
dave's grammy highlights...
* Police? SUCKED. First of all, no medley, unless you count the medley of Roxanne, a weird slow version of Roxanne, and then... ROXANNE!!! Second, Andy Summers fucked up twice on the guitar. Third, Sting dropped all of his "Put on the red light"s an octave. Lame, lame, lame.
* Mary J. Blige? STOP TALKING! Also, I'm pretty sure Jesus doesn't get to vote on the Grammys.
* I was about to be impressed that Justin Timberlake wrote this song and actually plays the piano, until he started the lyrics with "Hey, Girl..."
* I own guitars that are older than John Mayer. There is no way John Mayer is old enough to have worn away his Strat that much by playing it. I bet he uses sandpaper on it every night cuz thinks it buys him Blues Cred.
* Shakira... holy fuck. The thing about Shakira... I mean, she's undeniably hot... and those hips... they are just... and yet... I find them distracting. I can't help but watch her and try to figure out... how... what... what muscles would I even TRY to move to make... I just don't understand...
* Ce-Lo has giant teeth
* Imogen Heap seems to perhaps have a shrubbery in her hair
* The spotlight on the cape was actually a nice little tribute to James Brown, but who the heck was the dancey guy??
* James Blunt's vibrato is ridiculous. It is just a hair this side of Tiny Tim.
* Fuck, Timberlake plays guitar too? Between this and "Dick in a Box", this stupid white-hip-hop boy is going to force me to respect him. (He still looks like a fucking idiot wearing white sneakers with a black suit, though.)
* Dixie Chicks over Gnarls Barkley for "Record of the Year"?? What the holy fuck? I'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD THIS SONG UNTIL TONIGHT!!!
* Did the announcer really bill this Chili Peppers performance as the one that "everyone will be talking about"? They weren't even naked. What are we supposed to be talking about? The confetti? The fact that Anthony Kiedis sounds out of breath? They should have done Dani California.
* "Currently recording her first album, Scarlett Johannsen"? Um. WHAT??
* More Dixie Chicks awards? Jesus. Fuck, stay tuned for EVERY country performer to start bad-mouthing the President now.
* Police? SUCKED. First of all, no medley, unless you count the medley of Roxanne, a weird slow version of Roxanne, and then... ROXANNE!!! Second, Andy Summers fucked up twice on the guitar. Third, Sting dropped all of his "Put on the red light"s an octave. Lame, lame, lame.
* Mary J. Blige? STOP TALKING! Also, I'm pretty sure Jesus doesn't get to vote on the Grammys.
* I was about to be impressed that Justin Timberlake wrote this song and actually plays the piano, until he started the lyrics with "Hey, Girl..."
* I own guitars that are older than John Mayer. There is no way John Mayer is old enough to have worn away his Strat that much by playing it. I bet he uses sandpaper on it every night cuz thinks it buys him Blues Cred.
* Shakira... holy fuck. The thing about Shakira... I mean, she's undeniably hot... and those hips... they are just... and yet... I find them distracting. I can't help but watch her and try to figure out... how... what... what muscles would I even TRY to move to make... I just don't understand...
* Ce-Lo has giant teeth
* Imogen Heap seems to perhaps have a shrubbery in her hair
* The spotlight on the cape was actually a nice little tribute to James Brown, but who the heck was the dancey guy??
* James Blunt's vibrato is ridiculous. It is just a hair this side of Tiny Tim.
* Fuck, Timberlake plays guitar too? Between this and "Dick in a Box", this stupid white-hip-hop boy is going to force me to respect him. (He still looks like a fucking idiot wearing white sneakers with a black suit, though.)
* Dixie Chicks over Gnarls Barkley for "Record of the Year"?? What the holy fuck? I'VE NEVER EVEN HEARD THIS SONG UNTIL TONIGHT!!!
* Did the announcer really bill this Chili Peppers performance as the one that "everyone will be talking about"? They weren't even naked. What are we supposed to be talking about? The confetti? The fact that Anthony Kiedis sounds out of breath? They should have done Dani California.
* "Currently recording her first album, Scarlett Johannsen"? Um. WHAT??
* More Dixie Chicks awards? Jesus. Fuck, stay tuned for EVERY country performer to start bad-mouthing the President now.
if men had breasts, it would...
If you get the Sunday paper, check page 15 of today's Target ad. My first thought upon seeing the item at the bottom of the page was - "Whoa... does that breast pump have an LCD screen??"
If you get the Sunday paper, check page 15 of today's Target ad. My first thought upon seeing the item at the bottom of the page was - "Whoa... does that breast pump have an LCD screen??"
Dave and Pippa predict the Grammy's...
What started as a few comments about the Grammy Awards with my online buddy Pippa of Pippa Said blew up into a full list of prognistications. Our predictions and witty banter follow...
Record of the Year: There is no planet in the galaxy upon which this shouldn't go to "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley. Pippa agrees. James Blunt could win for "You're Beautiful", but... ick.
Album of the Year: Tough category, but I'll call it for Timberlake. Pippa agrees.
Song of the Year: We'll give this one to James Blunt and "You're Beautiful" as a consolation prize for losing to "Crazy" above. Pippa agrees but says it SHOULD go to the Dixie Chicks.
Best New Artist: (Aka- "The Kiss of Death"!) Pippa says Carrie Underwood. I was going to say James Blunt, but for no particluar reason.
Best Female Pop Vocal: Dave and Pippa have it down to Christina Aguilera and KT Tunstall. They were both on the New Year Rockin Eve which means they are both blandly mainstream enough to win. I pick Christina Aguilera. Pippa picks KT.
Best Male Pop Performance: "Save Room" by John Legend is Pippa's prediction. Dave says John Mayer, just because I think he'll win SOMETHING.
Best Pop Perofmrance by Duo or Group: Pippa says "Is It Any Wonder?" by Keane, and if Pussycat Dolls win? She's killing herself. Dave would like Death Cab to take this one, but would enjoy the stupidity of "My Humps" winning, so... that's my pick.
Best Pop Collaboration: Pippa votes for "One" by Mary J. Blige & U2. (Although she adds that "Hips Don't Lie" should TOTALLY win!) I'll go along with that one, although honestly... I've never heard it and had no idea it existed.
Best Pop Vocal Album: "FutureSex/LoveSounds", Justin Timberlake
Pippa:Best Dance Recording? "Sexy Back", Justin Timberlake & Timbaland. Although Depeche Mode should win.
Dave: I don't know from the dance music. I'm an old white guy.
Pippa: Best Electronic/Dance Album? "Confessions on a Dance Floor"by Madonna. Although ANY of the other nominees should win instead of her.
Dave: I don't really care, but I will confirm that all of the old white guys will have heard of Madonna.
Pippa: Best Solo Rock Performance? "Route 66", John Mayer. That's his "gimme".
Dave: Really? Against Bob Fucking Dylan?? I disagree.
Pippa : Best Rock Performance will go to fucking U2, although it should be The Raconteurs.
Dave: The Racontuers album was good, but not Grammy material. I'll go out on a limb here and call the fake U2 over the real U2 - Coldplay .
Pippa: Best Hard Rock Performance? Hmmm... not sure. I think Wolfmother might take it.
Dave: Yes. Wolfmother's retro thing sounds most familiar to old people.
Best Rock Song: Pippa gives this one to "Chasing Cars", by Snow Patrol. Despite the Grey's Anatomy factor, I'm going to call this one for "Dani California", although Dylan could also get it.
Best Rock Album: Stadium Arcadium, Red Hot Chili Peppers. (Although I can see Neil Young getting it as a political statement, I doubt it.)
Pippa: Best Alternative Album? Hmmm...
Dave: Tough category.
Pippa: I'm guessing St. Elsewhere, Gnarls Barkley, although they suck
Dave: I can't even see that as fitting the category. The Flaming Lips album was by far the worst of their last three. Both the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs and Arctic Monkeys albums has a lot of critical acclaim. I'll say "Show Your Bones" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, but I won't be surprised to be wrong.
Pippa: Best R&B vocal? Mary J. Blige SHOULD win it, but they'll feel bad for Beyonce not getting an Oscar nod. "Ring the Alarm", Beyonce. Best male R&B vocal goes to Luther Vandross. Hands down.
Dave: Who the fuck is NeYo? Is that Neil Young's hip-hop alias??
Pippa: Best R&B Group? "Love Changes", Jamie Foxx, which will be WRONG.
Dave: I have neard NONE of the others, though
Pippa: Best Traditional R&B? "God Bless the Child", George Benson & Al Jarreau
Dave: God, I fucking hate Al Jarreau. It's because of him I never made it past the credits to see an actual episode of Moonlighting.
Pippa: Best Urban/Alternative? WTF is this category? Again, Gnarls Barkley. Hate them.
Dave: You are calling a Gnarls Barley sweep! I'll say Outkast just to be difficult.
Pippa: Best R&B Song? "Be without You". Best R&B Album? Prince. (They'll throw him a bone here) Best Contemporary R&B? WTF is with the R&B categories???
Dave: More perplexing... Janet Jackson had an album this year????
Pippa: Yes. LOL
Dave: What the fuck? Did they realease it straight to 7-11s?
Pippa's picks for the big rap categories are...
Best Rap Solo: don't care but I'll go with Mos Def, cuz I like him.
Best Rap Group: Outkast (Dave agrees. "mostly nonthreatening"!)
Best Rap/sung: Justin Timberlake
Best Rap Song: Money Maker
Best Rap Album: In My Mind, Pharrell
I'll go with all of those, except for Rap Album, which I'll call for Ludacris.
Pippa calls the following country awards...
Best Female Country: Jesus, Take the Fracking Wheel
Best Male Country: It'll be Keith Urban, but I think it should be Josh Turner.
Best Country Group: "Leave the Pieces", the Wreckers
Best Country Collaboration: "Love Will Always Win", Trisha Yearwood
Best Country Song: What Hurts the Most. They'll feel bad for Rascal Flatts here
Best Country Album: Willie Nelson
I don't have much basis to argue with these. I'll add that I think Best Bluegrass Album always goes to Ricky Skaggs.
Dave: New Age!!!
Pippa: Enya. Although I have a lot of Andreas Vollenweider. Used to get stoned to it.
Dave: My prediction... Enigma will win, then Enya will rush the mic and trash talk them!!!
Best Native American Album: The one about eagles and um... spirits and ancestors and shit
Dave: We can prbably stop now
Pippa: The rest of these aren't on tv, are they?
Dave: Best Hungarian Folk Recording? Best Yodelling by a Group or Duo?
Pippa: Best Polka Album? Eddie Blazonczyk is going to surprise Jimmy Sturr this year.
Dave: Hee-hee.
Pippa: You think I'm kidding.
Dave: Oh! Best album packaging! Clearly "10,000 Days" by Tool.
Pippa:LOL. I haven't seen an album package in ages. Unless they include the booklet as an iTunes add-on.
Dave: It has plastic lenses and folds out into a stero-opticon! There is an assortment of 3D cards inside!
Pippa: Cool.
Dave:Yeah. Too bad the album sucks. 11/8! 7/4! Where's the melody? WHO CARES! Listen to us count!!
Dave: We missed show tunes. Everything goes to Jersey Boys.
Pippa: Sweeney Todd.
Dave: Noooooooooo. Happy songs by Frankie Valli versus un-melodic ditties about a homicidal barber??? No.
Pippa: Sweeney Todd.
Dave: I'd put money on this one. Sweeny Todd was not on the Macy parade. Therefore... Jersey Boys wins the show tune Grammy.
Pippa: That is sad.
Dave: But true.
Producer of the Year: Pippa calls Will.i.am. Dave takes Danger Mouse. Although Rick Rubin probably should win for the combination of Cash + Chili Peppers + Dixie Chicks
Dave: Ok. I think that's it.
Pippa: Be sure to put my polka prediction in there. I'm serious... Eddie Blazonczyk is going to kick Jimmy Sturr's ass this year
You heard it here first, kids.
BONUS PREDICTIONS
* Fergie will wear something slutty.
* Worst dress? Marilyn Manson
* Instead of playing anything good, the Police will perform a medley of "Roxanne", "Every Breath You Take" ,"Every Little Thing She Do Is Magic", and "Message in a Bottle". The only chance for real entertainment is if Sting makes a sarcastic comment during a song intro and Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland throw down and kick his tantric ass.
What started as a few comments about the Grammy Awards with my online buddy Pippa of Pippa Said blew up into a full list of prognistications. Our predictions and witty banter follow...
Record of the Year: There is no planet in the galaxy upon which this shouldn't go to "Crazy" by Gnarls Barkley. Pippa agrees. James Blunt could win for "You're Beautiful", but... ick.
Album of the Year: Tough category, but I'll call it for Timberlake. Pippa agrees.
Song of the Year: We'll give this one to James Blunt and "You're Beautiful" as a consolation prize for losing to "Crazy" above. Pippa agrees but says it SHOULD go to the Dixie Chicks.
Best New Artist: (Aka- "The Kiss of Death"!) Pippa says Carrie Underwood. I was going to say James Blunt, but for no particluar reason.
Best Female Pop Vocal: Dave and Pippa have it down to Christina Aguilera and KT Tunstall. They were both on the New Year Rockin Eve which means they are both blandly mainstream enough to win. I pick Christina Aguilera. Pippa picks KT.
Best Male Pop Performance: "Save Room" by John Legend is Pippa's prediction. Dave says John Mayer, just because I think he'll win SOMETHING.
Best Pop Perofmrance by Duo or Group: Pippa says "Is It Any Wonder?" by Keane, and if Pussycat Dolls win? She's killing herself. Dave would like Death Cab to take this one, but would enjoy the stupidity of "My Humps" winning, so... that's my pick.
Best Pop Collaboration: Pippa votes for "One" by Mary J. Blige & U2. (Although she adds that "Hips Don't Lie" should TOTALLY win!) I'll go along with that one, although honestly... I've never heard it and had no idea it existed.
Best Pop Vocal Album: "FutureSex/LoveSounds", Justin Timberlake
Pippa:Best Dance Recording? "Sexy Back", Justin Timberlake & Timbaland. Although Depeche Mode should win.
Dave: I don't know from the dance music. I'm an old white guy.
Pippa: Best Electronic/Dance Album? "Confessions on a Dance Floor"by Madonna. Although ANY of the other nominees should win instead of her.
Dave: I don't really care, but I will confirm that all of the old white guys will have heard of Madonna.
Pippa: Best Solo Rock Performance? "Route 66", John Mayer. That's his "gimme".
Dave: Really? Against Bob Fucking Dylan?? I disagree.
Pippa : Best Rock Performance will go to fucking U2, although it should be The Raconteurs.
Dave: The Racontuers album was good, but not Grammy material. I'll go out on a limb here and call the fake U2 over the real U2 - Coldplay .
Pippa: Best Hard Rock Performance? Hmmm... not sure. I think Wolfmother might take it.
Dave: Yes. Wolfmother's retro thing sounds most familiar to old people.
Best Rock Song: Pippa gives this one to "Chasing Cars", by Snow Patrol. Despite the Grey's Anatomy factor, I'm going to call this one for "Dani California", although Dylan could also get it.
Best Rock Album: Stadium Arcadium, Red Hot Chili Peppers. (Although I can see Neil Young getting it as a political statement, I doubt it.)
Pippa: Best Alternative Album? Hmmm...
Dave: Tough category.
Pippa: I'm guessing St. Elsewhere, Gnarls Barkley, although they suck
Dave: I can't even see that as fitting the category. The Flaming Lips album was by far the worst of their last three. Both the Yeah, Yeah, Yeahs and Arctic Monkeys albums has a lot of critical acclaim. I'll say "Show Your Bones" by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs, but I won't be surprised to be wrong.
Pippa: Best R&B vocal? Mary J. Blige SHOULD win it, but they'll feel bad for Beyonce not getting an Oscar nod. "Ring the Alarm", Beyonce. Best male R&B vocal goes to Luther Vandross. Hands down.
Dave: Who the fuck is NeYo? Is that Neil Young's hip-hop alias??
Pippa: Best R&B Group? "Love Changes", Jamie Foxx, which will be WRONG.
Dave: I have neard NONE of the others, though
Pippa: Best Traditional R&B? "God Bless the Child", George Benson & Al Jarreau
Dave: God, I fucking hate Al Jarreau. It's because of him I never made it past the credits to see an actual episode of Moonlighting.
Pippa: Best Urban/Alternative? WTF is this category? Again, Gnarls Barkley. Hate them.
Dave: You are calling a Gnarls Barley sweep! I'll say Outkast just to be difficult.
Pippa: Best R&B Song? "Be without You". Best R&B Album? Prince. (They'll throw him a bone here) Best Contemporary R&B? WTF is with the R&B categories???
Dave: More perplexing... Janet Jackson had an album this year????
Pippa: Yes. LOL
Dave: What the fuck? Did they realease it straight to 7-11s?
Pippa's picks for the big rap categories are...
Best Rap Solo: don't care but I'll go with Mos Def, cuz I like him.
Best Rap Group: Outkast (Dave agrees. "mostly nonthreatening"!)
Best Rap/sung: Justin Timberlake
Best Rap Song: Money Maker
Best Rap Album: In My Mind, Pharrell
I'll go with all of those, except for Rap Album, which I'll call for Ludacris.
Pippa calls the following country awards...
Best Female Country: Jesus, Take the Fracking Wheel
Best Male Country: It'll be Keith Urban, but I think it should be Josh Turner.
Best Country Group: "Leave the Pieces", the Wreckers
Best Country Collaboration: "Love Will Always Win", Trisha Yearwood
Best Country Song: What Hurts the Most. They'll feel bad for Rascal Flatts here
Best Country Album: Willie Nelson
I don't have much basis to argue with these. I'll add that I think Best Bluegrass Album always goes to Ricky Skaggs.
Dave: New Age!!!
Pippa: Enya. Although I have a lot of Andreas Vollenweider. Used to get stoned to it.
Dave: My prediction... Enigma will win, then Enya will rush the mic and trash talk them!!!
Best Native American Album: The one about eagles and um... spirits and ancestors and shit
Dave: We can prbably stop now
Pippa: The rest of these aren't on tv, are they?
Dave: Best Hungarian Folk Recording? Best Yodelling by a Group or Duo?
Pippa: Best Polka Album? Eddie Blazonczyk is going to surprise Jimmy Sturr this year.
Dave: Hee-hee.
Pippa: You think I'm kidding.
Dave: Oh! Best album packaging! Clearly "10,000 Days" by Tool.
Pippa:LOL. I haven't seen an album package in ages. Unless they include the booklet as an iTunes add-on.
Dave: It has plastic lenses and folds out into a stero-opticon! There is an assortment of 3D cards inside!
Pippa: Cool.
Dave:Yeah. Too bad the album sucks. 11/8! 7/4! Where's the melody? WHO CARES! Listen to us count!!
Dave: We missed show tunes. Everything goes to Jersey Boys.
Pippa: Sweeney Todd.
Dave: Noooooooooo. Happy songs by Frankie Valli versus un-melodic ditties about a homicidal barber??? No.
Pippa: Sweeney Todd.
Dave: I'd put money on this one. Sweeny Todd was not on the Macy parade. Therefore... Jersey Boys wins the show tune Grammy.
Pippa: That is sad.
Dave: But true.
Producer of the Year: Pippa calls Will.i.am. Dave takes Danger Mouse. Although Rick Rubin probably should win for the combination of Cash + Chili Peppers + Dixie Chicks
Dave: Ok. I think that's it.
Pippa: Be sure to put my polka prediction in there. I'm serious... Eddie Blazonczyk is going to kick Jimmy Sturr's ass this year
You heard it here first, kids.
BONUS PREDICTIONS
* Fergie will wear something slutty.
* Worst dress? Marilyn Manson
* Instead of playing anything good, the Police will perform a medley of "Roxanne", "Every Breath You Take" ,"Every Little Thing She Do Is Magic", and "Message in a Bottle". The only chance for real entertainment is if Sting makes a sarcastic comment during a song intro and Andy Summers and Stewart Copeland throw down and kick his tantric ass.
Friday, February 9
i mean, my students only listen to me because they HAVE to...
You may recall that when I was having web-storage issues, I was posting the lecture recordings of my class to YouTube. I figured... it's free, and the storage is unlimited. Well a few weeks later, I got BlackBoard straightened out, but there are still 5 or 6 lectures sitting in my YouTube account. Well, today I happened to peek in on my account and noticed that some of the videos have 200+ views!
Who the hell is out there downloading random astronomy lectures from random college professors? Shouldn't they be surfing YouTube for soft-core porn like normal people?
You may recall that when I was having web-storage issues, I was posting the lecture recordings of my class to YouTube. I figured... it's free, and the storage is unlimited. Well a few weeks later, I got BlackBoard straightened out, but there are still 5 or 6 lectures sitting in my YouTube account. Well, today I happened to peek in on my account and noticed that some of the videos have 200+ views!
Who the hell is out there downloading random astronomy lectures from random college professors? Shouldn't they be surfing YouTube for soft-core porn like normal people?
i don't think she even has any tattoos...
I just found out that one of the bloggers I read has gotten a paid gig blogging over at Suicide Girls. Writing about "women's issues" or some such. Fuck... life is totally unfair. I'd write for them and they wouldn't even have to pay me. The site password would be enough.
I wonder if they need a science columnist?
I just found out that one of the bloggers I read has gotten a paid gig blogging over at Suicide Girls. Writing about "women's issues" or some such. Fuck... life is totally unfair. I'd write for them and they wouldn't even have to pay me. The site password would be enough.
I wonder if they need a science columnist?
Thursday, February 8
bullets...
I've been occupied with a lot of random stuff the past week, and haven't really been blogging much. I feel like there are lots of topics that I could conceivably write about, but they would all take too much time. Here are some brief updates...
* The kindergarten saga with the boy continues. It still looks like the public school is unwilling to let him in before the deadline. We are considering paying to have him tested by a child psychologist so we have some data to back us up. Meanwhile, yesterday he and the girl were playing school, and she taught him how to do multiplication. (Ok, just by 2 and 1, but still.)
* Classes are going only so-so. Because It's such a light semester, I've been under-preparing.
* The book that died and then was resurrected and then forgotten again has once more come back to the surface. I've been assigned a new chapter to write and will supposedly be receiving a $500 advance shortly. So much for publishing a paper of my own this semester.
* I've been spending most of my evening train rides watching DVDs of "Six Feet Under". I really like it. It's a lot like the Douglas Coupland books I enjoy... everyone is quirky and confused and sad. I'm not sure why I find other peoples' depression so enjoyable to watch.
* There is some kind of weird budget thing going on with the science lab. The budget director asked if we needed any lab equipment, and we got together and brainstormed a list of about $2000 worth of stuff, and he said - "No, no.. this is nothing, do you need any EQUIPMENT??" And so now I'm asking for a $2500 telescope and a $5000 research-grade MacPro.
* Today is the last of 3 guest lectures for a colleague. Yesterday I volunteered to talk about quantum mechanics in the nanotechnology class as well. I need to start asking for favors in return. Although I really don't mind it. I kind of think of it as advertising... like when actors go on the talk show circuit to promote their movies.
* All the science faculty sat around and mapped out their contract renewal dates and potential sabbatical schedule yesterday. I could conceivably go on sabbatical as early as Fall 2009. Now I just have to come up with a "plan".
* Two current juniors have approached me about mentoring their senior research projects. One is making a documentary film about the history of images of Earth from space, and the other one wants to do an art installation based on the ideas of quantum mechanics. Still no takers on my idea to turn historical works by Galileo and Newton into graphic novels.
* I really need to apply for a parking permit NOW so it's 3-month time period lasts me the whole semester. It involves printing and faxing. Very primitive.
* I'm not asking for springtime or anything, but fuck... I'd love to leave for work with double digit temperatures some day soon.
I've been occupied with a lot of random stuff the past week, and haven't really been blogging much. I feel like there are lots of topics that I could conceivably write about, but they would all take too much time. Here are some brief updates...
* The kindergarten saga with the boy continues. It still looks like the public school is unwilling to let him in before the deadline. We are considering paying to have him tested by a child psychologist so we have some data to back us up. Meanwhile, yesterday he and the girl were playing school, and she taught him how to do multiplication. (Ok, just by 2 and 1, but still.)
* Classes are going only so-so. Because It's such a light semester, I've been under-preparing.
* The book that died and then was resurrected and then forgotten again has once more come back to the surface. I've been assigned a new chapter to write and will supposedly be receiving a $500 advance shortly. So much for publishing a paper of my own this semester.
* I've been spending most of my evening train rides watching DVDs of "Six Feet Under". I really like it. It's a lot like the Douglas Coupland books I enjoy... everyone is quirky and confused and sad. I'm not sure why I find other peoples' depression so enjoyable to watch.
* There is some kind of weird budget thing going on with the science lab. The budget director asked if we needed any lab equipment, and we got together and brainstormed a list of about $2000 worth of stuff, and he said - "No, no.. this is nothing, do you need any EQUIPMENT??" And so now I'm asking for a $2500 telescope and a $5000 research-grade MacPro.
* Today is the last of 3 guest lectures for a colleague. Yesterday I volunteered to talk about quantum mechanics in the nanotechnology class as well. I need to start asking for favors in return. Although I really don't mind it. I kind of think of it as advertising... like when actors go on the talk show circuit to promote their movies.
* All the science faculty sat around and mapped out their contract renewal dates and potential sabbatical schedule yesterday. I could conceivably go on sabbatical as early as Fall 2009. Now I just have to come up with a "plan".
* Two current juniors have approached me about mentoring their senior research projects. One is making a documentary film about the history of images of Earth from space, and the other one wants to do an art installation based on the ideas of quantum mechanics. Still no takers on my idea to turn historical works by Galileo and Newton into graphic novels.
* I really need to apply for a parking permit NOW so it's 3-month time period lasts me the whole semester. It involves printing and faxing. Very primitive.
* I'm not asking for springtime or anything, but fuck... I'd love to leave for work with double digit temperatures some day soon.
Wednesday, February 7
Tuesday, February 6
no more 7:30 train...
The train was a half hour late this morning. That's one minute late for every degree it is below freezing outside. It's one of these fucking museum pieces again. If this is going to happen every week, I'll gladly get up a half hour earlier to catch the non-antique trains that run during the peak commuter routes.
I'm considering turning on GarageBand and Photoshop in the background just to heat up my laptop more. Think I'd get strange looks from people if I took of my shoes and held my feet against the bottom of my PowerBook?
The train was a half hour late this morning. That's one minute late for every degree it is below freezing outside. It's one of these fucking museum pieces again. If this is going to happen every week, I'll gladly get up a half hour earlier to catch the non-antique trains that run during the peak commuter routes.
I'm considering turning on GarageBand and Photoshop in the background just to heat up my laptop more. Think I'd get strange looks from people if I took of my shoes and held my feet against the bottom of my PowerBook?
Monday, February 5
the genius of einstein...
NOTE: I kinda committed to a blog thing where everyone blogs about science every day for a week. This is the first entry, based loosely on my physics lecture this morning.
When I teach about relativity to my liberal arts students I like to spend some class time exploring the mystique and the iconic status of Albert Einstein. We've sort of decided that Einstein is a "genius" by public agreement, but not too many non-physicists could explain to you WHY. Lots of people have some sense that the ideas of relativity are bizarre and have something to do with space and time not being what they seem, and I think the perception is that Einstein is a genius because he dreamed up these crazy ideas about space and time right out of thin air... just because he could. But that's not really the whole story.
Einstein was working on a problem. A specific problem. A specific problem that was well known and that other people were working on. A contradiction had cropped up in physics between two very successful ideas: Galileo's ideas about motion, and Maxwell's ideas about light.
In the early 1600's Galileo had a very deep insight about the very idea of motion, which is that all motion is relative, and that the "speed" of an object is not something inherent to it, but simply a value assigned to it by some observer. Think of a baseball being thrown from the pitcher to the catcher. The catcher may assign a speed of 100 mph to the ball, but some other moving observer would see the speed of the ball very differently. To someone driving past in a car at 50 mph, the ball might appear to be moving at 150 mph. To someone flying over in a plane at 500 mph, the speed of the ball might appear to be 400 mph. Which of these is the "real" speed of the ball? It might be tempting to say that the pitcher and catcher are measuring the "real" speed of the ball, until you realize that the pitcher, the catcher and the whole baseball field are attached to a planet that it spinning at nearly 1000 mph, orbiting the sun at 60,000 mph, and hurtling through the galaxy at more than 500,000 miles per hour. Is the real speed of the ball 60,100 mph? 500,100 mph? Galileo rightly concluded that it simply doesn't make sense to talk about an object's "real" speed. Different observers will always measure different speeds of an object depending on how they are moving relative to it.
All was well with this picture until James Clerk Maxwell's discoveries about the nature of light emerged in the middle of the 1800s. What Maxwell showed was that light was not some kind of little particle or the vibration of some kind of substance, but a wave of electric and magnetic fields in empty space. Not only that, but the speed of light was calculable in a fairly straightforward way from the properties of electricity and magnetism. The speed of light equals 299,790 km/sec. The calculation has nothing to do with anything physically MOVING at all. It has to do with the properties of electric and magnetic fields in a vacuum.
And here lies the problem. Galileo says that speed is a relative concept. Different observers will always disagree on the speed of something if they are moving relative to it. But light seems to be different. Its speed has a value that is predicted by the laws of physics. Any observers, no matter how fast they are moving, should be able to look at a beam of light, work out the equations of electromagnetism, and calculate the speed as 299,790 km/sec. How can this be? For example, suppose you were in a rocket moving through space at 200,000 km/s. Wouldn't a beam of light appear to be moving only 99,790 km/s? Yes, says Galileo. No, says Maxwell.
What is the solution? Was Galileo wrong about the fact that no observer's measurements should have priority? Was Maxwell wrong that the speed of light is somehow special? Is there someway out of this seeming contradiction?
Einstein had an answer. What was it? Forget the apparent contradiction. Accept that all observers have equal claim to their measurements of the world, and accept that the speed of light is a fundamental quantity that all observers should agree upon. Forget that it seems unclear how this could be true... take the contradiction as your starting point and see what other assumptions about the world have to be false in order to MAKE the contradiction true. The conclusions come quickly. The only way that two moving observers can look at a beam of light and agree on its speed is if they DISAGREE on their measurements of space and time. It's not difficult to show this. I did it on the board for my class today. For example, deriving the time dilation equation involves (distance) = (velocity)(time)... the Pythagorean Theorem (of all things)... and a dozen or so lines of algebra. Tenth grade math.
So, what was Einstein's genius? I like to think it was mostly in his ability to throw common sense to the wind and to follow an absurd line of thought to its logical conclusion. The things one has to accept in order to believe Einstein's theory of relativity are truly bizarre. But given the choice of believing in the bizarre and rejecting the truths of Galileo and Maxwell, Einstein chose to believe the bizarre. Galileo was right. Maxwell was right. And Einstein was right to put his faith in the geniuses who preceded him.
NOTE: I kinda committed to a blog thing where everyone blogs about science every day for a week. This is the first entry, based loosely on my physics lecture this morning.
When I teach about relativity to my liberal arts students I like to spend some class time exploring the mystique and the iconic status of Albert Einstein. We've sort of decided that Einstein is a "genius" by public agreement, but not too many non-physicists could explain to you WHY. Lots of people have some sense that the ideas of relativity are bizarre and have something to do with space and time not being what they seem, and I think the perception is that Einstein is a genius because he dreamed up these crazy ideas about space and time right out of thin air... just because he could. But that's not really the whole story.
Einstein was working on a problem. A specific problem. A specific problem that was well known and that other people were working on. A contradiction had cropped up in physics between two very successful ideas: Galileo's ideas about motion, and Maxwell's ideas about light.
In the early 1600's Galileo had a very deep insight about the very idea of motion, which is that all motion is relative, and that the "speed" of an object is not something inherent to it, but simply a value assigned to it by some observer. Think of a baseball being thrown from the pitcher to the catcher. The catcher may assign a speed of 100 mph to the ball, but some other moving observer would see the speed of the ball very differently. To someone driving past in a car at 50 mph, the ball might appear to be moving at 150 mph. To someone flying over in a plane at 500 mph, the speed of the ball might appear to be 400 mph. Which of these is the "real" speed of the ball? It might be tempting to say that the pitcher and catcher are measuring the "real" speed of the ball, until you realize that the pitcher, the catcher and the whole baseball field are attached to a planet that it spinning at nearly 1000 mph, orbiting the sun at 60,000 mph, and hurtling through the galaxy at more than 500,000 miles per hour. Is the real speed of the ball 60,100 mph? 500,100 mph? Galileo rightly concluded that it simply doesn't make sense to talk about an object's "real" speed. Different observers will always measure different speeds of an object depending on how they are moving relative to it.
All was well with this picture until James Clerk Maxwell's discoveries about the nature of light emerged in the middle of the 1800s. What Maxwell showed was that light was not some kind of little particle or the vibration of some kind of substance, but a wave of electric and magnetic fields in empty space. Not only that, but the speed of light was calculable in a fairly straightforward way from the properties of electricity and magnetism. The speed of light equals 299,790 km/sec. The calculation has nothing to do with anything physically MOVING at all. It has to do with the properties of electric and magnetic fields in a vacuum.
And here lies the problem. Galileo says that speed is a relative concept. Different observers will always disagree on the speed of something if they are moving relative to it. But light seems to be different. Its speed has a value that is predicted by the laws of physics. Any observers, no matter how fast they are moving, should be able to look at a beam of light, work out the equations of electromagnetism, and calculate the speed as 299,790 km/sec. How can this be? For example, suppose you were in a rocket moving through space at 200,000 km/s. Wouldn't a beam of light appear to be moving only 99,790 km/s? Yes, says Galileo. No, says Maxwell.
What is the solution? Was Galileo wrong about the fact that no observer's measurements should have priority? Was Maxwell wrong that the speed of light is somehow special? Is there someway out of this seeming contradiction?
Einstein had an answer. What was it? Forget the apparent contradiction. Accept that all observers have equal claim to their measurements of the world, and accept that the speed of light is a fundamental quantity that all observers should agree upon. Forget that it seems unclear how this could be true... take the contradiction as your starting point and see what other assumptions about the world have to be false in order to MAKE the contradiction true. The conclusions come quickly. The only way that two moving observers can look at a beam of light and agree on its speed is if they DISAGREE on their measurements of space and time. It's not difficult to show this. I did it on the board for my class today. For example, deriving the time dilation equation involves (distance) = (velocity)(time)... the Pythagorean Theorem (of all things)... and a dozen or so lines of algebra. Tenth grade math.
So, what was Einstein's genius? I like to think it was mostly in his ability to throw common sense to the wind and to follow an absurd line of thought to its logical conclusion. The things one has to accept in order to believe Einstein's theory of relativity are truly bizarre. But given the choice of believing in the bizarre and rejecting the truths of Galileo and Maxwell, Einstein chose to believe the bizarre. Galileo was right. Maxwell was right. And Einstein was right to put his faith in the geniuses who preceded him.
Sunday, February 4
Saturday, February 3
Thursday, February 1
surely you're joking, dr. dave...
Today in class I'll be playing a recording of Richard Feynman talking about the conservation of energy. It's about 8 minutes long. I've used it in class so many times that it would probably take only a small amount of effort to memorize it so that I could deliver it as a dramatic monologue, complete with 1930's Brooklyn-gangster accent. Then I could audition for dinner-theatre productions of "QED".
Today in class I'll be playing a recording of Richard Feynman talking about the conservation of energy. It's about 8 minutes long. I've used it in class so many times that it would probably take only a small amount of effort to memorize it so that I could deliver it as a dramatic monologue, complete with 1930's Brooklyn-gangster accent. Then I could audition for dinner-theatre productions of "QED".
in demand...
I usually don't plan to go in to work on Thursdays, but today I'm doing a crossover into a colleague's course on "Energy and Sustainability". It's my job to teach them the precise scientific definition of "energy" the way a physicist uses the term, as well has how to do specific calculations and solve problems and pronounce "nuclear" correctly. I have three days in which to do this.
Other than that, today is wide open. My schedule says I'm supposed to write for 45 minutes today. I don't expect it will be easy to force myself to do that. We'll see.
I usually don't plan to go in to work on Thursdays, but today I'm doing a crossover into a colleague's course on "Energy and Sustainability". It's my job to teach them the precise scientific definition of "energy" the way a physicist uses the term, as well has how to do specific calculations and solve problems and pronounce "nuclear" correctly. I have three days in which to do this.
Other than that, today is wide open. My schedule says I'm supposed to write for 45 minutes today. I don't expect it will be easy to force myself to do that. We'll see.
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