one funky bridge...

(driving to Kingston, NY)

DAVE: Umm... did that just say the "George Clinton Bridge"?
WIFE: I think so, why?
DAVE: Which George Clinton?
WIFE: I dunno... the British Naval Commander"
DAVE: Oh... ok... not the dude from Parliament Funkadelic, then?
WIFE: I seriously doubt it. I guess I could be wrong, though.
DAVE: Next stop... the Bootsy Collins Rest Area!!

"party"... "recap"...

Small, dark, loud, and full of people I don't know. This may be some peoples' idea of a "party"... but it's my idea of a PANIC ATTACK.

I got the hell out of there as soon as possible.

no tv for me...

I don't have any headphones in my fucking bag. I HATE IT when I do that. Guess I'll blog for a while... It's not like I don't have stuff to write about. It's been a while. It's hard to keep track now that I use Twitter so much. I feel like I've written about stuff, when really I've just twatted about it. Not really the same. So, here is the week in review...

SUNDAY: Hiked up a fucking mountain and back. Why? Because the nature preserve was having a free-pass day, and my wife is insane. It was a nice walk, but I was aching the next day. I'm not joking about the mountain thing, either... I'm talking about walking across ridges and up and down 45º inclines of bare rock. And the poor dog! She was a trooper during the hike, but I've never seen her sleep as hard as she did that evening.

SUNDAY EVENING: Drove wearily to Staples to pick up $525 copy job. Went to Wal-Mart to buy 2" binders. Found ONE. Went to Target... found THREE. Bought four more BLUE ones, which I think looks a little unprofessional, but fuck... don't make faculty dossiers due during back-to-school week. They are lucky mine don't have Hannah fucking Montana on them.

MONDAY MORNING: Went to Sears to get new tires because they were having a "sale" and my inspection is due by the end of the month, and my current set look like fucking DRAGSTER tires and will certainly fail. The nature of the tire "sale" is, of course a mystery, because nothing has a price on it, except for the tires in the Sunday paper ad, which are of course for 12" Geo Metro tires. I told them I didn't need top of the line Goodyear/Michelins and they quoted a price that seemed reasonable until all the fucking add-ons brought it up almost to $400. (WHY the fuck are "valve stems" EXTRA? Are they not part of the tire? Can I buy the tire WITHOUT the valve stems??? THEN STOP FUCKING ME FOR $8/TIRE AND INCLUDE IT IN THE FUCKING PRICE!!) I looked at the tires later in the day and noticed that the brand was KUMHO. Um... Kum? Ho? What the fuck? Were they out of Bukkake All-Season Radials??

MONDAY AFTERNOON: Worked on installing the fence. Why? Because I had to drive my portfolios to the city on Tuesday, and was going to stop at Ikea, and the wife wanted to go to Ikea, and as long as we're all going to the city we should go to a museum, but we can't leave the dog inside for that long, so we have to finish the fence. Result? Did not finish fence. Did finish portfolio, at exactly 11:56 PM.

TUESDAY: Drove portfolios (eight 2" binders of 930 pp each) to the city. Stopped at Ikea along the way. Bought TWO 6' tall unfinished shelf units, a 4'x5' area rug, a floor lamp, a desk lamp, and two decorative accent lights. (I will have the most moodily-lit office on campus!) Total cost? $148. Ikea is so fucking awesome. Also stopped at the Container Store for magnets and Command Adhesive hooks for hanging crap in the new office.

WEDNESDAY: Had court date for the missing front license plate incident. Didn't really have to make much of a case... judge reduced the charge to $75/no points. Whatever.

THURSDAY: Is that today? Taking the train in to finalize and print some syllabi. Also need to assemble the Ikea shelves and help the Chemistry prof install some specialty software on the lab Macs. (Aside: This means I had to bring in the Mac I borrowed today, which means I couldn't bring my power driver to assemble the shelves. Blah. I did manage to stuff my ratchet set into my bag, though) After I finish with all the printing, copying, and whatnot, I have to attend a fundraiser for a science-film organization, because I'm in charge of one of the films they are showing on campus and feel obliged to be social and glad-handy with the organizers. This means I'll be getting home at either 11:30 PM or 2:00 AM. What fun.

TOMORROW: Have an appointment for an inspection/oil-change at 10:00 AM. Have to mow the lawn. Will likely fuck with the fence some more if I'm not completely exhausted.

Needless to say, I've been a bit of a basket case. But for now... I really have work to do. Stay tuned for a "party report" from the train ride home. I hope to god there is booze.

takin' care of bidness...

Heading into the city today to copy, copy, copy! My goal is to have the textual parts of my review portfolio essentially DONE by the end of business today. It should be do-able... it just requires some dedicated time sitting and printing everything I've done for the past 5 years.

Once that is all ready, I need to decide how I'm going to go about making 8 three-hole punched copies of the thing (which I expect to run to 500+ doublesided pages.) I've heard that the Staples in Union Square will do a big job like that and deliver it to campus, but that would probably mean a couple more trips into the city... one to drop it off, and one to pick it up and assemble it into binders with dividers. The alternative is to get it done up here in the suburbs, but then I'd have to get 8 500-page binders into the city, which would probably mean driving. I fucking hate driving into the city, but I could stop at Ikea in NJ and get some stuff for the office!

Speaking of the office, I stuffed my old Netgear router into my bag today. See, my office is in a building with no wireless access, and I can't deal with that. What am I supposed to do, plug a damned ETHERNET CABLE into my laptop every time I sit down at my desk? And then fiddle with the network settings? Is it fucking 1996? Instead, I'll set up my own pirate wireless network. The Netgear has really shitty wireless range, so I'm pretty sure nobody will ever see it outside of my office. Just in case the Universty Geek Squad doesn't like you doing these sorts of things, I'll hide it under the desk. I think I'll set the network name to "underthetable"

I requested some bookshelves for the office, but I'd be kinda stunned to see them there already. I kinda hope they AREN'T actually, because that would make it too easy to fuck around organizing my books instead of doing what I'm supposed to be doing.

exhaustion is better than anger...

Tried to redeem this waste of a day with a run as the sun was going down. It's amazing how cool 70º feels when the humidity is under 60% and there is a breeze. Ran one mile in 9:40, which is a helluva lot better than the 10:30+ last time. Walked for probably longer than I should, then ran for about 7:00 more... probably 3/4 mile back home. Still not back to 2 miles yet... maybe this weekend.

Not sure if I mentioned it here yet, but I have a 5K race penciled in on the calendar on 9/21. Which means I have a month to get from <2 miles to 3+ miles. I assume the first step towards that is making the SECOND mile feel as good as the FIRST mile feels now. This seems highly unlikely. But running a mile comfortably seemed unlikely initially, so... we'll see.

Anyway. I hope to get some work done tonight. Heading into the city tomorrow.

never happens to me...

Where can I meet this girl?

fuck...

i left a dvd burning overnite... the video of my play reading from last october that i have been busting my ass to get the 2 camera shot synced w/ the audio... which i thought i finally had under control, but the fucking dvd looks like a goddamned japanese monster movie. i went back to iMovie, and the audio isn't synced there anymore either. what the fuck? I HAD IT!! WHAT THE FUCK??

the plan today was to get up, run, shower, then head to a cafe to put the final touches on the writing i need to do for my portfolio. i put my running shoes on, stepped out the door and it IMMEDIATELY started raining.

it is turning into one of those days, and i DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR ONE OF THOSE DAYS

run...

Went out for a run this morning (sans dog). My shuffle was dead, so I took my 30Gb iPod instead. (So cumbersome!! How did people ever run with a Sony Walkman?!) Since I didn't have my running podcasts, I figured I'd go for distances rather than times. Listened to "Narrow Stairs" and thanks to Death Cab and some unseasonably cool weather, had a pretty good run. Ran the first mile easily (although at a somewhat plodding 10:40 pace.)... took a short walk break, then ran the rest of the no-quite-mile back home. Legs were good, lungs were good. The problem area today? My ABS. I did SOMETHING in yoga the other day that has had my abs killing me. Who knew you even needed your abs to run?

not quite ready...

The Puppy and I have been running for short stretches during our leash-training outings, so I decided to try to see how far she can run. I put on my running clothes yesterday and took her out. What I hoped would be a 1/2 mile jog turned into a 200 yard DRAG away from the house, followed by a 200 yard ALL OUT SPRINT back to the house.

Someone was NOT in the mood for exercise.

I guess I'll have to wait a few months for my running partner.

small failures...

PORTFOLIO: Didn't get nearly the amount of work done that I needed to today on my review portfolio. Dealing with new computers and new offices is a much more concrete, and hence preferable, task. I did make a few copies, and get some parts of the stack in a "ready" state. (Each finished section is labeled with a large pink post-it marked "READY"!) Still lots more to do, though.

COMPUTER: Got the Macbook from the "Systems Coordinator" guy. Which means that the University Geek Squad already had their paws all over it setting things up. Not cool. OK, it's nice to have a copy of Office 2008 on here, but not if it means I have to uninstall everything else they put on it. Symantec Antivirus? Is it 1992? What the fuck? Macs don't have viruses, you Windows nerds, at least not often enough that it's worth putting up with a "scan" every god-damned time you open a new file or a new drive. And it kept interrupting the fucking Migration Assistant, so none of my apps transfered to the new machine. And on top of it all, there is no way to delete the school-installed administrator user account, or even make it NOT the default. All this means that I'm going to wipe the HD, and reinstall OSX with my own Leopard install disks. (**) But it also means I had to bring BOTH MacBooks home, which I did NOT want to do.

OFFICE: The new office is a HUGE improvement over the old one. Not only is there more space, but there are TWO DESKS. (My old office-mate and I could not be in the office at the same time.) One of the desks was already empty, so I claimed it and rearranged the furniture a little bit. I moved the big horizontal filing cabinet around a corner and slid my desk back, creating a dark, cozy nook from which I can't see the door. This is important, as I find people-traffic distracting, and the new office is right next to the men's room. The only thing that the room is missing are BOOKSHELVES. There are 2 long shelves on the wall, but no freestanding units. I really need more book-starage space, so I'm going to email a request for some wall units. If they don't come through, I guess I can make a trip to the new Brooklyn IKEA! In fact, now that I think about it, there may be room in this office for a tiny sofa! I love offices with tiny sofas! Anyway, right now most of my books are moved into the new room, but stacked in big 5' high piles against the wall, making it look a little like the office I just left.





(**) Notably absent from the laptop box they gave me were all the MacOS install discs. Clearly they don't want you doing a system install yourself. These people have NO IDEA WHO THEY ARE DEALING WITH!!!

i will not blog post in the rain, i will not blog post on the train...

Figures, the first day I've planned to go into the city in since June and the alarm wakes me up at 5:20 to the sound of a Book-of-Genesis DELUGE going on outside. I lay in bed thinking... nope, there is nothing urgent enough for me to do today that requires me to go outside in THAT, so I stayed under the covers until I heard the rain stop. By now it was 6:00, so I still had a chance to make the 6:40. I got dressed, went downstairs and opened the puppy crate, but the dog gave me a look like - dude, it's 6:00 AM, I'm still too sleepy to pee! - so I closed the door and left. Made it to the train just in time... luckily I had few single-ride tickets stashed in my bag, because I wouldn't have had time to buy one.

Three things are pulling me into the office today. First of all, I get to pick up my new Mac. Which means I need to transfer everything off of THIS Mac that I borrowed for the summer, then do a full reformat of this HD in order to make it safe as a student machine again. Second, I need to move closer to finishing my review portfolio, which is due at the end of the month. I want to get ALL of my course materials printed and the writing part finished today, if possible.

Third, I need to get ready for my office move. I requested a new office for 2 reasons. One is that I'm in a different building from the science lab, the science faculty, and all of my science classes. Which is kind of a pain, just in terms of logistics... if I forget something I need to run down 4 flights of stairs, jaywalk across a busy Manhattan street, go into a different building, and then run back. But an equally important reason for the request is that I can't really deal with my pack-rat office mate anymore. The waist-high piles of paper (yes, that's from the FLOOR) are just too much. I can't think in there, and as a result I never go in my office, and I probably don't get as much work done on campus as I should. (I tend to work in the lab, where there is a better computer, but a lot of people-traffic.) Anyway, the rationale I gave to the administration was based on the FIRST complaint, which does not explain at all why, when they moved my office, the just moved me across the hall from my old office! Now my office mate is going to think I asked to be moved just because of him... which is kinda true, of course, but... I don't want to seem like a dick. Oh well.

I should really start writing now, but... oy... I'm kinda sleepy. I forget how much this whole getting-up-and-going-to-work thing can suck.

now tighten your liver...

Went to yoga class today for the first time in ages. There are very few options that are near here with convenient class times, so I tried the one at the Gold's Gym that's about 15 min away. It was ok, but not great. I'm used to a more active style of yoga... this class had way too much hoo-haa about "energy", and bunch of that "breathe in through your pancreas, and out through your spleen" nonsense. Just give me some down dogs and some warriors and a tree, ok? If I want to breathe through one nostril, I can do that at home without paying $12. (Hey, Dharma... nice theory and all, but... I'm pretty sure that breathing through your left nostril alone relaxes you and helps with sleep problems BECAUSE YOU'RE GETTING HALF AS MUCH OXYGEN!!!)

I shouldn't complain, though... because a more active class would have kicked my ass. Maybe I'll try another "Level 1" with a different instructor. Someone without her Kundalini up her Hatha, preferably.

UPDATE: This link showed up on Boing-boing today, just in time for my return to yoga. WANT!

olympic fever...

Spent WAY too much time on the sofa watching the olympics yesterday. Some brief comments...

1) Michael Phelps won! Imagine that! Have the announcers even planned ANYTHING they might say if he loses a race?

2) Beach volleyball chicks are too skinny for my tastes, but have consistently cute butts. Also... it is really odd to see 6'1" Asian women.

3) I'm developing a huge crush on 41 year-old swimmer Dara Torres. I want her body. In both senses.

4) We are going to get our asses kicked so hard in Men's Gymnastics, it isn't even funny.

5) The live internet streaming at nbcolympics.com is just way too much. Yesterday I watched live footage of Women's 10m Air Rifle. First of all, who knew that BB guns were in the fucking Olympics? Second of all... here is a recap of the action, in case you missed it" stand.... squint... stand.... squint... stand.... squint... ... *click* (REPEAT) At least real guns make a loud noise.


To make up for the 8 hours of sofa-sitting, I woke up today and threw on my running clothes. It didn't work right away... I had plenty of excuses. I can't run! I have to watch the dog! I can't run, I can't find my headphones! I can't run! I have poison ivy on my feet!! (**) But I DID run, and it was great. Great weather. And I managed to pick up the program where I left off despite not running for almost 3 weeks. So, yay me. Now I just need to get back on schedule. I'm feeling kind of "blah" lately, so it won't be easy. Now if I can only make myself WORK.



(** Yes, again)

world tour 2008...

My singer/songwriter buddy Annie is coming up to New York to stay with us for 3 or 4 days in October. I plan on dragging her to a different open mic every night she's here. She'll probably insist on having her boyfriend play with us on a few songs, but... that's ok, I guess. As long as *I* get most of the solos.

first blood...

The puppy has gnawed my left ear in half. Don't believe me? Check the Flickr feed in the sidebar for pix!!

I lost about a pint of blood, but i'm sure it was just an accident.

what do Dave's students love about him? his compassion...

IM conversation with student...

STUDENT: hey, since Prof. K. is on sabbatical this semester, will you be my advisor?
DR.DAVE: um. wait, are you one of Prof. K's really demanding advisees?
STUDENT: yep
DR.DAVE: one of the ones who has hour long meetings and CRIES about stuff?
STUDENT: no, I'm not that bad.
DR.DAVE: ok... as long as there is no crying, i'll consider it.

please welcome to the blog...

what will surely soon become yet another thing for Dave to complain about...

the tivo reads my mind...

Made an obscure Monty Python reference in the blog a few days ago... the following day, the TiVo self-selected that very episode of Monty Python to record.

Also.... made fun of TiVO remote today and said remote went missing. I've looked for an hour.... no sign of it.

I think the TiVo may be the next phase of intelligent lifeform on the planet. Its powers are beyond our comprehension.