There's a new player in the pherma biz! member...

There's a new player in the hood - and you're gonna like it.
Yep, nomore the old fashion, this one is new, good and will
give it to you like with prjjces you never knew you can get.
I'm talking about the new shoop.
Come iin to observe more!
We can't wait till the winter comes :)

I love spam. Seriously.

how to bait and switch an entire country...

Term One: "We have a surplus! Look at that surplus! That means we're taxing too much! It's not the gubmint's money! It's YER money! Here, take it all back!

Term Two: "We have a deficit! Look at that deficit! That means we're spending too much! Gotta cut 150 gubmint programs. But not the War on Terr'rr! Freedom is on the march! Gotta spend more on that. Buy your own damned heart pills, Grampa!


Huh? Wha? What happened there? We weren't listening...

On another note, about the only program Bush isn't cutting is NASA. He's giving NASA even MORE money. And yet there is no money in the budget to save the Hubble... they're gonna let that crash into the ocean. Where is all the NASA money going? To the Manned Mission to Mars of course... because, why spend money to fix something we already have, that already WORKS, when we can blow it all sending people to Mars to plant a fucking 'Merrican flag and jerk off all over some rocks.

Stupid motherfuckers...

like father like daughter...

We went to Target yesterday, and I don't know if maybe the impending Super Bowl has us feeling particularly "sporty" or what, but we bought cute little baseball mitts for the kids. Then when we got home I took them out back to play catch.

The first toss, my daughter missed. Darn!

The second toss, my daughter caught! Yay!

The third toss hit my daughter smack in the nose and reduced her to a hysterical sobbing heap and cemented the inevitable truth that her future will be free from organized sports activity of any kind.

Oh well... it was bound to happen soner or later.

the crack-dealer analogy becomes even more applicable...

I went to the Krispy Kreme drive thru the other day to get my standard 2 chocolate iced donuts and bottle of milk, and the chick at the window gave me my donuts, and when I held out my $5 she said - "Don't worry about it... have a nice day!"

What the fuck? Pretty cool, huh? I don't know what it was all about. Disgruntled employee maybe??

"I'll show these fuckers... I'll fucking GIVE AWAY donuts all day!!"

Or maybe I'm just projecting.

Either way, I didn't think of the appropriate rejoinder until it was too late, which would have been - "Oh! Ok... well, can I have two MORE then?"

the damage...?

Dinner at Ruth's Chris Steak House, plus babysitting?

$150!!

I mean... it was good, but it wasn't THAT fucking good.

pay attention to BASEBALL? but it's been SO LONG...

I learned today that steroid-fueled home run guy Sammy Sosa got traded to the Orioles.

The O's! My old home team!

God, I can't even remember the last time the O's didn't suck. Maybe this season I should keep an eye on the AL East on the off chance that they aren't 21 games behind the Yankees again this year.

note to self...

Check out the going price for a human soul on eBay. Just to make sure you're getting a good deal.

i honestly don't care if she actually SITS on them...

The wife and I are going out tonight! Alone! To eat! With no kids! At a restaurant! ALONE! WITH NO SCREAMING!!

dave gets all semantic with the appliances...

Our dryer has the little lint-trap thingy inside, as most dryers do... and on the edge of the trap is says "PLEASE EMPTY BEFORE EVERY USE"...and I never really noticed it or took issue with it until last night. Not that I DO empty it after every use... that would be extremely anal and deprive me of the pleasure of peeling off a big 1" thick pillow of compacted blue-gray fuzz after every 6 or 7 loads. I never FOLLOWED the suggestion, but it never bothered me either.

Until now.

Because last night the question arose... Are you emtpying it BEFORE every use, as the label says... or are you emptying it AFTER every use? I contend that it is the latter, because the FIRST time you used it, it had never been used... therefore, you didn't need to empty it before THAT use... you began emptying it AFTER the fist use, and continued to empty it AFTER every subsequent use. Am I right, people??

This is what it's like to live inside my head, dear readers. Be thankful...

mardi gras parade update...

I know I promised complaining, but believe it or not... there are probably WORSE ways to spend an afternoon than being pelted by beads and stuffed animals by fat guys wearing masks.

Ok... it was a little cold.