goober says "hey"...!

Well, I made it home... just barely. yesterday’s flight itinerary looked like the cut-scenes from “Raiders of the Lost Ark”... Bangkok... Nepal... Morocco... Spokane... Portland... Phoenix... Baltimore... New York. Ok, the first three were made up, but we did hit 5 Southwest destinations yesterday. Who knew Southwest even HAD five destinations??

But the kids were remarkably well behaved, all things considered... only a few minor breakdowns. (Not counting the half-hour crying fit in the CAR on the way home!) Portable DVD players are amazing things. When the little one is old enough to watch movies, we’ll be able to go ANYWHERE and do ANYTHING!! But for now, the flights consisted of handing the baby back and forth over the heads of the movie-watching older sister, trying to get him to sleep as much as possible, and trying to keep him contained while awake. It worked for the most part, although it made the parents pretty much as cranky as the kids. But a night in our own beds, and tricking the kids into sleeping until 9:30... all is pretty much back to normal. Well... except that the house is a stifling, cat-vomit encrusted shithole...

As for the trip to Idaho... pretty relaxing, as much as possible. (Only so much relaxation is allowed when you have a 6-month old.) My daughter rode an awful lot of horse... had lots of fun... she really got to know my wife’s teenage cousins, as did we... more on this later. But yeah... it was Idaho, so you can probably imagine that not much else went on.

We did go to a fourth of July parade, cuz my wife’s cousin was prominently featured as some sort of “Local Hero”... riding in a convertible and waving. See he’s in the Coast Guard. Uh-huh. And never mind that he spent the entire Iraq War breaking ice in Antarctica or something... but apparently that’s as close as Coeur d’Alene can get to a genuine War Hero. Yeah. Oh, how I love Post 9/11 America!

Actually, seeing a 4th of July parade in Idaho was a bit of a sobering experience. Turns out that a major feature of the parade was a performance by a troupe that goes by the name of the “Red Hot Mamas.” Now, as best I can explain, this group consists of several dozen women wearing housecoats and hats made of groceries, pushing shopping carts and performing choreographed routines to the accompaniment of “Born to be Wild.” What. The. Fuck.

It makes me think.... Jesus, if this is what passes for entertainment in the strip of “red” states up the middle of this country... it’s no fucking wonder we’ve got fucking Goober from the Andy Griffith Show for president. God, I’m surprised it’s not even worse. It makes me want to pack up the bags, buy some warm socks, and learn the lyrics to “O, Canada” beyond the first two words.

And yet, there was something attractive about a neighborhood where nobody locks their doors, where people borrow your lawnmower when you aren’t home, then put it back in your garage, and where you’re look at as being a little odd if you DON’T own any livestock. It was an interesting place, to say the least.

Anyway.... more about the family to come. It’s nice to be back.

D.