sober musings on alcohol..

I don’t know how much readers know about the whole "history" of me and alcohol. See, for most of my life I didn’t drink. At all. The reasons for this were fairly simple. But recently, I've started drinking. A little. The reasons for THIS are relatively complex, and I shan't go into them right now. Suffice it to say, what you are dealing with is a 35 year old person who is figuring out things about alcohol that most people figured out when they were 18. And the thing about 18-year-olds is that they don’t THINK as much as 35 year olds, so... being 35 and figuring out these things can be fairly tiring. Example...

WHAT to drink...

I can’t drink beer, because the smell of beer sickens me. As does the smell of wine for that matter. (What exactly is in beer AND wine both, other than alcohol?) That leaves hard liquor. And without a parent's liquor cabinet to raid - how does one decide really? It's too expensive to just buy one of each. (More on that later.) So I just picked anything that can be mixed with ginger ale (vodka, gin) or coke (rum). Because I really like ginger ale, and we always have some coke around the house.

HOW MUCH to drink...

So... having picked a beverage of choice (or two) the question becomes... what exactly is the POINT. Because as I see it there are four possible states you could be aiming for...

a) nothing
b) woozy
c) sick
d) unconscious

Now... which one should I be shooting for here? Because the 'nothing' seems like a waste, and the 'unconscious'... well, I could just skip the drinking and go straight to bed. Sick can’t be it, so it must be the 'woozy' that I'm looking for, but... quite frankly, I don’t particularly ENJOY being woozy.

HOW OFTEN to drink...

Can I drink on a Wednesday while I watch TV? By myself? What if I had a drink yesterday? When will this start to look bad? When will my wife start to freak out?

HOW WELL to drink...

Here is the dilemma. I can not IMAGINE spending $45 on a bottle of vodka. But at the same time I can't imagine DRINKING the crap that only costs $17!

It goes on and on, and if the whole experiment proves nothing else, it proves that DAVE THINKS TO MUCH TO EVER HAVE ANY FUN!! EVER!!