both ends...

Well, the projectile vomiting has been replaced by explosive diarrhea, so we spent a half hour around 4:00 AM changing the baby’s clothes and sheets and hosing down his bedroom... after all of which I was unable to go to sleep.

My wife said - “Remind me of all the good, fulfilling things about parenthood?” to which I replied... “Yeah, as soon as I discover one...”

d.